Sex work is work.
This is not up for debate.
The people who do this work aren’t any more or less morally upstanding than their counterparts in accounting or waste management.
So, what happens when a person’s alternative income stream is exposed and she loses an opportunity that otherwise, she would’ve been approved for?
That was the issue facing Redditor and Original Poster (OP) thatDrunkenAunt when she came to the “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for judgment.
“AITA for telling my sister and PTA to f’k off after excluding me from a school fun day because I have a OnlyFans?”
OP began with the a little backstory.
“There’s this fun day/fundraiser at my niece and nephews school sometime in the near future and my sister is a part of the parents association so she’s been busy helping organizing the whole thing and finding people to volunteer/help out.”
“A week ago she asked me to help out with the face painting and leading some of the games/activities.”
“She’s my sister so obviously I agreed and even bought and paid for all the paint myself.”
“Obvious from the title but I have an OFs.”
“I’m nowhere near the top echelon of creators but I make a sizable amount from it.”
“I haven’t told many people outside friends.”
Everything was fine, until…
“Today I got the logistics meeting with everyone and my sister pulled me aside and apparently someone knows about my OF.”
“And told the other parents/organisers and now they have a problem with my involvement since they’re a Christian school and my OF goes against their morals so they can’t let me help out.”
“They seem to think I’d lead their kids astray into starting their own while playing some running games.”
“Doubt they held the same energy for the person who somehow knows about my OF but that’s neither here nor there.”
“The point is my sister said that I’m off the team because of all this so I told all of them to f*ck off and left.”
OP was left to wonder,
Having explained the situation, OP turned to Reddit for judgment.
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided: NTA
Some saw both sides.
“You get to tell them to eff off and they get to disapprove of your decisions.”
“NAH.” ~ zephyrseija
“You have every right to tell them to F off.”
“I hope you also got reimbursed for the paint.. since they disapprove of how you obtain your money, they wouldn’t want the children to paint using funds from said sex worker..”
“And you bought the paint with the intent to be an active participant in the activity.”
“I get the schools side also.”
“They are a Christian school.”
“You are a sex worker who is not a parent.”
“A parent has seen this and clutched their pearls.”
“If you continued to volunteer, parents- those who pay the tuition, keep their doors open – would have raised a ruckus causing more headaches and taking the fun out of it for the kids.”
“Always follow the money.”
“As for your sister- she is trying to keep her kids happy.”
“This is their school, these other parents are her kids friends- all these people she’s going to have to interact with for years to come.”
“If she stood firm in letting you volunteer, it would indirectly cause blow back on the kids.” ~ XxQueenOfSwordsXx
“I am not judging you for choosing to be a content provider in the sex industry.”
“I have no problems with it whatsoever.”
“HOWEVER…you need to come to terms with the fact that you are going to miss out on some opportunities in life because of it.”
“That is just the reality of the world we live in.”
“There are a lot of narrow minded judgemental people in this world that are never going to be accepting of people who work in the sex industry”
“NTA for being upset…but like I said, you need to come to terms with this because the world is not going to magically wake up one day and suddenly be ok with sex work.”
“That takes time”
“And we sadly still a long way away from sex work being more universally accepted” ~ The__Riker__Maneuver
Some pointed out the double-standard.
“I’m basically a boring vanilla Christian who likes judging people (but secretly, which is why I’m on this sub in reddit lol).”
“There’s no reason the kids or parents would magically intuit that you’re on OF or what your glorious jugs look like without going on OF to look at you.”
“It’s not like you’re advertising your OF while you’re there.”
“I’m sure plenty of them do things in private that are not particularly godly. This is just hypocrisy.” ~ Soggy-Calligrapher-1
“’For the board member that subscribed to my OnlyFans, thank you for your patronage.'”
“‘I appreciate it. Without your help, I would not be able to afford these paints to do face painting for your fundraising event.”‘
“‘I’m sure the kids would have enjoyed it. But since you don’t want me to be there due to my work, I suggest the member who subscribes to my OnlyFans be forbidden from any school activity.”‘
“‘You wouldn’t want them corrupting your kids right? Yes I do the work but they are PAYING for it. Is that not also against your morals for supporting such behavior?”’
“Stop by a meeting sometime and mention something akin to that.”
“Embarrass them on it and make sure it’s in front of all of the other parents as well.”
“Yea it’ll create waves but we’ll earned ones.”
“NTA” ~ rjhancock
Others pointed toward the religious part of it all.
“Being judgmental hypocrites is kind of the defining characteristic of Christianity.”
“You are NTA for being upset at what they did, but it also can’t come as a surprise.” ~ Mekoides1
Some tried to draw attention to the nuances inherent to people.
“By the same token, sex workers aren’t a monolith, they’re people.”
“Some people suck, some people are decent.”
“There are a lot of sex workers who acquire a rather distasteful attitude of expectations and exploitation.”
“Some people just don’t care sex that much, and there are plenty of sex workers that are extremely unpleasant to be around if you’re one of those people.”
“Their emotional regulation got skewed from constant attention and the whole 0 to 100 thing is just draining to be around.”
“Like the post here.”
“Instead of it just being something they don’t support, she manufactured a pretty detailed story that really boils down to ‘she’s not a parent of any of the kids, a parent doesn’t want her there, let’s not turn nothing into something for no reason.'”
“From the moment she learned she was off the team, she goes 0 to 100, and embarrassed the fuck out of herself and her sister who pulled her aside to tell her in private.”
“Hell, she shoulda kept her temper in check just long enough to find out who made the complaint so she can remove them from her subscriber list.”
“‘Today I got the logistics meeting with everyone and my sister pulled me aside and apparently someone knows about my OF and told the other parents/organisers.”‘
“‘And now they have a problem with my involvement since they’re a Christian school and my OF goes against their morals so they can’t let me help out.”‘
“‘They seem to think I’d lead their kids astray into starting their own while playing some running games.”‘
“‘Doubt they held the same energy for the person who somehow knows about my OF but that’s neither here nor there.”‘
“‘The point is my sister said that I’m off the team because of all this so I told all of them to f*ck off and left.”‘ ~ hallgod33
Some saw the bright side.
“NTA, and thanks for the tip. Off to create an OF so I don’t have to help out at any PTA fundraising events ever again!” ~ JeepersCreepers74
And others had personal stories.
“I’ve had this happen twice in my professional life”
“A higher-up at my former job was a popular porn actor a few decades back.”
“Someone called our corporate office to complain.”
“It’s been decades and they used a stage name. I wouldn’t have had any idea they were the same person until they told me.”
“A girl’s ex-boyfriend called me (I was HR at the time) let us know his ex would travel out of state to strip on weekends.”
“We all had an inkling what she was doing, but no one said anything”
“Thankfully, both those jobs gave the people who complained a giant ‘f*ck off’ and it was never mentioned again” ~ throwawayoctopii
“To piggy back off of this. During the hype of the Pandemic, a female mechanic had an account or something like it.”
“The male coworkers DURING work mind you-on the clock were viewing her content. She got fired for ‘distraction’ and then men did not get reprimanded.” ~ Tira13e
The original post really isn’t about sex work or even the ridiculous stigma around that work.
The post is about the community deciding that it can judge a person based on something as superficial as her career.
While, yes, all actions have consequences, we have to be careful that the consequences match the actions and not just pearl-clutching hypocrisy.