No matter what they look like, many people are incredibly insecure regarding their physical appearance.
As a result, any remark about the way they look could trigger them and make them feel very uncomfortable.
Even when people think they might be paying a compliment to someone, they might instead only make them angry or upset.
Redditor Loud-Lab-2653 did not appreciate a recent remark her good friend's boyfriend made about the way she looked.
Resulting in the original poster (OP) returning the favor and making a remark about his physical appearance.
While her friend's boyfriend took the remark in stride, the OP's friend was furious.
Wondering if she was out of line, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**hole" (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
"AITA for snapping back when my friend's boyfriend commented on my bikini?"
The OP shared how an afternoon by the pool with friends ended up causing a rift amongst the group.
"I (29 F[emale]) am in a group holiday with my fiancé and three other couples."
"We are renting a big villa."
"This story concerns my friend Casey (30) and her boyfriend Josh (30)."
"For context, I don't hate Josh, but he requires a firm approach."
"He will try his 'brutal honesty' stuff on you to see if you'll let him get away with it, but once you show him you won't put up with it, he calms down."
"That said, he's prone to some stupid remarks."
"So, yesterday we were all having a relaxed day by the pool."
"I came out of the house in my bikini and Josh wolf whistled and said 'damn I really chose the wrong friend' loud enough for everyone to hear."
"Without missing a beat I turned to him and said 'why are you acting like you had your pick of the litter?'"
"'I would never have looked at you twice and you know it'."
"Josh laughed off the comment and and went back to reading his book, but Casey pulled me inside and yelled at me for embarrassing her and Josh."
"She said what I said was demeaning and I basically called Josh ugly."
"I was pretty stunned because actually I think what happened was Josh called me a piece of meat."
"We argued and I basically said that I wasn't responsible for her boyfriend's crass behavior and went back outside."
"Casey is still giving me the cold shoulder, as well as the three people who told her she was overreacting."
"It's making everything awkward."
"I don't think I'm in the wrong here but some of the group have said I was overly cutting with what I said, considering Josh was already out of line."
"Basically they said I joined him in the gutter."
"My fiancé says both Casey and Josh are nut jobs."
"Am I the one who took it too far?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You're the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
The Reddit community unanimously agreed that the OP was not the a**Hole for clapping back at her friend's boyfriend.
Everyone agreed that the OP was more than justified to give Josh a taste of his own medicine, with many confused and upset that Casey wasn't more hurt by Josh's unkind, misogynistic remarks.
"I'm sorry, did your friend miss the part where her boyfriend called her less hot than you and implying that he would toss her aside for you?"
"She glossed over the diss at herself and prickled at the insult to him?"
"How low is this woman's self-esteem?"
"NTA."
"Josh left himself wide open for your response."- JenAnt80
"NTA."
"Josh objectified you and insulted Casey."
"She took her insecurities out on you probably because you're a safer person to be mad with than he is."- coppeliuseyes
"NTA."
"You're right. Josh publicly objectified you and you put him in his place."- jrm1102
"NTA and it's weird that Casey is mad at you for putting her boyfriend in his place instead of mad at her boyfriend for not only objectifying her friend, but also basically saying he finds you more attractive and 'chose wrong'."- Allaboutbird
"NTA."
"Casey is upset because you implied that her boyfriend wasn't good enough for you."
"Based on Josh's comment, that may very well be true."- jeophys152
"NTA, she is displacing her anger."
"It is easier for her to be hurt and angry at you than it is for her to confront her boyfriend."
"It's unfair to you, but there's not a lot you can do until she wakes up and realizes that he is a dipsh*t."- Rootbeerpanic
"NTA."
"Casey should redirect her anger at her boyfriend, who pretty much announced you're hotter than her to the whole group."
"He sounds like a huge a**hole."- CrabbiestAsp
"If I was Casey I would feel disrespected and embarrassed by asshat Josh."
"She has misplaced her anger towards you."- mabear63
"There's a word for this, its called 'a**hole'."- 6nQKqDdd23FbJEpb
"NTA."
"People who say they are 'brutally honest' can almost never take any sort of comments reflected back at them."
"It's sad that the person he was insulting is defending him."
"Your fiancé sounds like he has the correct perspective."- tangtheconqueror
"NTA, your response was totally appropriate."- Kukka63
"You didn't embarrass anyone. Josh embarrassed his gf with this comment."
"I'm surprised Casey blames you."- fantasietraeume
"NTA, if anything, Josh called Casey ugly, and she needs to open her eyes."
"I don't know wtf is wrong with some women always attacking other people instead of their own men."
"If my man did that, you wouldn't have to defend yourself because I would be the first to respond to his dumb comment."- ALdreams
"NTA."
"She was already embarrassed by his (crass, unnecessary) statement, which was increased by your savage (hilarious, accurate) comeback."
"She couldn't/didn't want to take it out on him, so she's pouring it onto you instead."
"The fact that three others are on your side and (seemingly) no one is on hers tells you everything you need to know."- TalynRahl
"NTA."
"Casey is more angry at you than at Josh?"
"Who blatantly insulted her by saying he chose the wrong friend?"
"She's likely honestly more upset with him, but as you're her friend and not her boyfriend, you're the easier target."
"I agree with your fiance. Both Casey and Josh sound exhausting."
"Your other friends are out of line, though. You didn't join them in the gutter. You neatly stepped over it."- Carikos
"You're NTA."
"Josh said you are more attractive than Casey and suggested he should have hooked up with you."
"You shot that down."
"And Casey is mad at you?"
"Haha, she's focusing her annoyance on the wrong person."- Dittoheadforever
"NTA, if he wolf-whistled at you and made a rude comment, you're fully entitled to banter back."
"Laughing was the right response - Casey was in the wrong."- TADodger
"NTA her boyfriend hit on you and objectified you and she got pissed... at you."
"Make it make sense."
"He was acting like a dog. You had every right to put him in his place."
"If I were you, I'd cut both of them off."
"Josh for obvious reasons but the gf as well bc she seems like the type to cause drama and blame you if he ever tries to make a move."
"Best to just avoid the whole mess before it happens."- ChancePark1971
"NTA."
"Don't start none."
"There won't be none."- tercer78
"NTA."
"Game recognizes game."- thepaoliconnection
"NTA."
"It sounds like Casey is just upset. Josh thinks you're hotter than her."
"He needed to be put in his place; there's no reason he should have even made that stupid comment."- Soft_Bookkeeper_7500
"NTA."
"Casey was deeply hurt - rightfully- at what he said, and she couldn't call him out cause he's an a**hole, so she's lashing out at you because you are safe."- Mabelisms
"NTA."
"In my opinion, Casey is in the wrong for a couple of things."
"Why is she accepting this nasty behavior from Josh?"
"I wouldn't like it if my fiancée told my best friend he chose the 'wrong' friend to date."
"She was out of line to tell you you were wrong for sticking up for yourself."
"if someone made a nasty remark, why shouldn't you say something back?"
"Wishing you best of luck!"- Wyvern_Riding_Witch
"NTA."
"Casey may just be angry because her boyfriend thinks you're hotter than her, and because she apparently still wants him, she's taking it out on you."- mensink
"NTA."
"Casey needs a reality check to realize if Josh kept his mouth shut, nothing would've happened, and if you can't stand the heat, stay out of the oven."
"Josh is a complete AH, as his personality sounds like its garbage if he does this to basically everyone, not to mention objectifying you in the first place."
"You saying 'why are you acting like you had your pick of the litter?' was actually pretty funny."
"In the short term, you lot need to consider if going on holiday again is worth it, as I think I'd be avoiding Josh + Casey like the plague."
"Longer term, Josh needs to work on his sense of humor and think before he speaks, or I'd be finding reasons to not be around him, period."- FeralSquirrels
One could argue that Casey was justified in being upset that the OP made an unkind remark about Josh's looks.
What is rather worrisome, however, is that Casey didn't seem even the least bit fazed by the fact that Josh also made an unkind remark about the way she looked.
It seems an important conversation regarding ground rules and everyone's comfort levels is necessary before this friend group ever convenes at a pool again.















Woman Breaks Up With 'Clingy' Boyfriend For Making Joke About 'Getting With' Her Sister
As much as we might want to date someone, there's no point in trying to gain the attention and affection of someone who does not want to reciprocate.
Dating someone "similar" to fill that void isn't a good look, either, cringed the members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subReddit.
Redditor Flashy-External1666 had been long-distance dating a guy from her friend group for about a month, even though he'd expressed his attraction to her older sister repeatedly before they started dating.
When her sister entered a new relationship, the Original Poster (OP) was hurt and disgusted that her boyfriend insinuated that he could have been trying to "get with" her sister while he was instead busy dating her.
She asked the sub:
The OP was aware that her boyfriend had his eye on someone close to her before dating her.
"I (19 Female) am with M (21 Male), and we've been together for a month. We were friends before this, for a while."
"For some background, when we were in a friend group, he'd always talk about how my sister (23 Female) was super hot and how he wanted her, but she was in a relationship at the time."
When he found out that her sister had been in-between relationships, he had an unsavory reaction.
"Earlier today, I mentioned to him how my sister started seeing this new guy, and I was super proud of her, because she went through a lot with her last relationship."
"His immediate reply was, 'Dang,' one month too late' with a sad emoji, insinuating that he was one month too late to get with her, because we've been together for a month."
You can see the text message exchange here:
The OP was immediately turned off by the idea of dating him.
"After I got upset and he apologized, he immediately sent me a reel that said, 'When she's already upset about me, but I have a second joke in mind.'"
"I feel like he genuinely doesn't care about me."
"He has also gotten weirdly clingy within the month, like red-flag clingy."
"He keeps trying to say how he loves me, wants to marry me, and wants me to go live with him. But he also always brings up my exes and gets super jealous when HE mentions them."
"I don't know what to do. Should I block him??"
"He's mentioned before that I would need to block him on everything if we ever broke up because he'd never leave me alone (we are currently long-distance)."
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
Some were grossed out by the boyfriend's text message and understood why the OP was upset.
"The fact that he wrote all that out and even added a little emoji at the end and still decided to send it, knowing it would be hurtful for you."
"Seems like he’s texted that to see if he could get away with it. Either way, you don’t say something like that to someone you care about…" - Oven_Traditional
"NOR. Ew! That’s so disrespectful coming from someone who should be thrilled to have you."
"I’m team 'dump him.' If he has a brother, maybe ask for his brother’s number as you end it just to see how he likes it." - Entire-Tonight-1463
"NOR. He's not joking about your sister. Based on what he's said about her in the past, it would have been a wise move to NOT date him at all. PERIOD."
'There's a possibility that he's clingy/close to you for the purpose of indirectly keeping an eye on your sister. Release him and let him go, thereby setting yourself free from foolishness." - AtlJazzy2024
"He’s not for you… Break up with him and block him. You deserve a guy who treasures YOU!" - Muted-Lynx-8745
"He might be your boyfriend, but you're not his girlfriend. In his mind, your sister is." - Save-your-spoons
Others urged the OP to block her boyfriend and move on.
"Girl, it's been a month. Let that loser go." - sleepymelfho
"He kept OP as a backup, while circling her sister's orbit. What has happened to transparency and honesty in relationships? All I read now is obnoxious men doing obnoxious things to their partners."
"OP, he's keeping you around to stay close to your sister. You deserve better... NOR." - ColdHandGee
"NOR. You know that he's not joking about wanting your sister. He told on himself before you even got together, talking about how hot she was. Believe him."
"Break up with him and cut him off immediately. I can't believe you ever agreed to date him in the first place. I'd never want to date someone who had the hots for someone else in my immediate circle, whether that was a sibling or a friend." - Lanky_Mud_8148
"You’ve been dating one month, and that’s one month too long."
"He’s not joking about your sister. He fancies her more than you, and you’re the consolation prize. He will pursue her given the chance."
"Time to dump him." - Special_Wind_6708
"NOR. He can't have your sister, so you're just the next best thing. Him being a clingy weirdo that 'will never leave you alone' is the cherry on top."
"You know what to do. Dump him and block him on everything. If anyone from the friend group asks, just tell them what you told us. And you REALLY should warn your sister; you have receipts." - sdoM-bmuD
"Ditch him. Honestly. What are you waiting for?" - forget_me_not_uwu
"NOR at all. Cut this loser out of all channels of your life."
"I wouldn’t block, though. Just ghost so that he can watch you become happier without him as the ultimate revenge because I’m petty like that, and he clearly deserves it."
"ALSO, if he's as creepy and clingy as he sounds, you can have him muted, so he can see your activity, but you won't have to see his... But you'd have all of his messages as receipts if he ever became threatening or stalkerish for police purposes."
"For more context: My mum started dating my dad (when she was 19, too), who initially tried to go for her older sister (two years older) and got rejected."
"After three years of dating, seven years of engagement, and 20 years of marriage where she put up with an incompetent man-child that wouldn’t do anything for himself and expected her to completely cater to him while he berated her and treated her like s**t..."
"...it ended in him cheating on her with a waitress for over a year and denying it until my mum had literal photographic evidence, to which he had the audacity to respond with the reasoning that she was the reason he was 'driven to cheat' (as if that was even remotely close to the truth and the only option to solve his ‘problems’)."
"Save yourself, girl. This man-child can learn to pine over you and your sister from afar as you both skip into the sunset together, moving on with your lives and into better relationships that fulfill you the way you deserve!" - peachycritter
Some cautioned the OP to also cover her tracks after the breakup, as he sounded worse than "clingy" to them.
"The actual scary part isn't even the sister joke; it's, 'he said he'd never leave me alone if we broke up,' only one month in."
"That line gave me chills, and that alone would have me Googling how to block someone on every platform that exists." - babydoodle91
"Ew. These super clingy guys right out the gate are scary. Please watch your step, and erase your tracks." - Immabirb
"He sounds like a stalker... Drop him now, fast. And block him everywhere." - Admirable_Program720
"NOR, yes, you block him, and you keep him out of your life, and you tell mutual friends that if they try to facilitate contact between you two, you will block them as well. He isn't joking." - JustAsICanBeSoCruel
"I watch way too much crime for this!"
"Girl, block him. Also tell your sister to block him, too; he’s obsessed with her." - MrsRoronoaZoro
"NOR. You're underreacting, honestly."
"He wants your sister, but you're close enough. He's obsessed with her and won't give it up even though he has someone he 'wants to marry.'"
"Also, he's not lying. He probably will stalk you online afterwards; please be careful." - Phoenix-Phire-38
"NOR at all. Your post kept adding on more red flags with each additional sentence. I know you’re young, but he’s toxic, and yes, you will need to block him."
"Breaking up with someone you have strong feelings for is really difficult, so when you leave, you should make sure to lean on friends and family and keep yourself distracted with things you like and find engaging." - query_tech_sec
"The s**t with your sister is nothing compared to the love-bombing and jealousy. This guy is trouble, and scary, and you will have done the right thing when you leave him and maintain the distance between the two of you. NOR." - potatomeeple
After receiving feedback, the OP posted an update, but it seemed to be only the beginning.
"Thank you for making me feel less crazy."
"I blocked him on everything and deactivated my Instagram."
"He DM'ed a girl that I had posted ONCE on my Instagram Stories, asking about me."
"I'm not sure if he's going to keep trying to talk to me, but I hope not."
The subReddit's internal alarm bells were ringing while reading the OP's post, and they hoped that she'd leave her boyfriend in every sense of the word. They already lived long-distance, but she needed to cut him off in every other sense.
Not only was it obvious that he wanted someone else and was with the OP to "make up for it," but his "promises" of not leaving her alone if she ever broke up with him were love-bombing and stalker-like, at best.