The key to a successful relationship is compromise.
It’s not uncommon for a couple to disagree on matters, both fundamental and completely frivolous
But in order for a relationship to succeed, it’s important that each half of the couple tries to meet each other half way.
The girlfriend of Redditor Inevitable-Plant3755 absolutely hated dogs, and wasted no time in reminding her partner after she applied to acquire a dog.
This was in spite of the fact that the original poster (OP) was looking to get a dog not as a pet, but due to a medical condition.
Concerned that she was out of line, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole’ (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for applying for a guide dog against my girlfriends wishes?”
In a short and concise post, the OP explained how a dog would greatly help her with an ongoing medical condition, but her girlfriend was still adamant that she did not want a dog in their life.
“I (27 F[emale]), am experiencing vision loss.”
“I am not totally blind yet but it’ll happen eventually.”
“My girlfriend (27 F) doesn’t like dogs much.”
“There is no allergy or anything there and she is not afraid of them.”
“She just doesn’t like them.”
“I am struggling in my day to day life and know a guide dog would help me and my General Practitioner (GP) has advised I apply for one.”
“My girlfriend and I don’t live together yet, but we have discussed it.”
“She didn’t want me to apply for the guide dog as she didn’t want to live with a dog, saying I could learn to make do with just the long cane.”
“I could probably learn eventually yes and will likely get one too but a guide dog would be much easier for me especially as i’m transitioning.”
“This is not a pet so I do not think it is the same as just getting a dog just because I want one.”
“I ended up applying for the guide dog anyway and am waiting on approval and she is angry with me.”
“I understand she doesn’t want a dog, but as we’re not living together yet and also a thing I need for my day to day life, I don’t feel I did anything wrong by following my GP’s advice.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not the A**hole
- YTA – You’re the A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
The Reddit community wholeheartedly agreed that the OP was not at all the a**hole for applying for a service dog.
Everyone agreed that the OP’s girlfriend was being insensitive to her condition, with many emphasizing that if she couldn’t adapt to this, the OP should reevaluate their relationship .
“It doesn’t matter if she likes dogs or not.”
“This dog will be an invaluable tool to help you navigate the world once your sight is gone.”
“If she can’t cope, maybe she’s not the one.”- snewton_8.
“Imagine ‘my girlfriend doesn’t want me to wear glasses’, ‘my girlfriend doesn’t want me to get a wheelchair’.”
“You need this.”
“Sure, like a wheelchair it will have some impact on her but that’s a choice she needs to make.”-Pumpkinkra.
“Okay, is this serious?”
“You are facing a slow decline and want help and your GF isn’t supportive because she (checks notes) doesn’t love dogs?”
“This is the most selfish thing I’ve ever heard.”
“You have every right to apply for and get the help you need.”
“She can like it or lump it.”
“Her preferences have ZERO standing in your safety, health, and emotional well being.”
“Good luck with everything.”
“I’m sorry about your vision, but I’m glad you’re planning now to build the skills and systems you need to thrive despite this big change.”
“NTA x (infinity).”- Apotheuncary.
“Not just that, but you definitely should re-home the girlfriend asap.”
“She doesn’t give a damn about your well being.”- tatasz.
“Red flag alert!”
“Guide dogs are the best resource for vision impaired people because they see for you.”
“Walking with a cane does not provide the same level of security as a dog does.”
“She would literally rather take away a major part of your independence as a person because she doesn’t ‘like’ dogs than inconvenience herself a little bit.”- Disastrous_Name161.
“NTA, this is your life.”
“You’re the one struggling.”
“If she can’t understand that, maybe it’s time to rethink moving in together.”
“I get that she doesn’t want to live with them, but that kind of comes with the territory for you.”-hecallsme_kitten.
“She thinks it’s fine for you to suffer for her minor comforts.”
“Consider whether or not this is someone you think you could depend on if your sight worsens.”-Baspii.
“Your GF seems to be concerned more with her wants, rather than your needs.”
“Might make you think a little.”- Tyberious_.
“A guide dog will give you your independence back more than using a cane will.”
“I would advise learning how to use a cane as well though as there maybe times you need to leave the dog at home.”
“You didn’t say what country you are in but I know not all dogs (in the UK) are escalator trained so you might need to either change route or leave the dog at home sometimes.”
“I’m not seeing any reasons why you want to stay with her (not saying there aren’t any but you haven’t listed them), I would take a good look at your relationship and decide if you see a future with her – I doubt you will.”
“Just realized I have used the word see a lot.”
“I have worked with quite a few people who are blind and they use it all the time as some phrases don’t work as well avoiding that word.”- OwnedByACrazyCat.
“Get the dog.”
“Dump the girlfriend.”- Excellent_Squirrel86.
:If you were an amputee and she said she didn’t like prosthetic limbs and she didn’t want you wearing/using one while you were with her, would you still date her?”
“This is about your physical and mental well being.”
“A service dog is a tool for to use to maintain or increase your quality of life.”
“It’s also an awesome friend, because dogs are awesome.”
“Would she tell you not to get a wheelchair if you couldn’t walk?”
“She is a GF Not a wife.”
“She does not get a say in your medical decisions.”
“Even if she was a wife, a guide dog for you is not something someone who loves you would try to deprive you.”- Maddie215.
“When she slowly loses her vision she can decide what method will work best to assist her and allow her to remain independent.”-GothPenguin.
“I know a woman who is vision impaired and her guide dog allows her to live independently.”
“Guide dogs are highly trained, very intelligent and obedient.”
“Living with one isn’t the same as living with a pet.”
“Your GF should meet a trained guide dog so she can understand it’s different than taking in a rescue or raising a puppy.”- SeaWitch1031.
“In so many ways and on so many levels.”
“I cannot stress this enough.”
“You are not the asshole here.”
“A trained guide dog is most definitely not a pet, and living with one is not anything like having a pet.”
“Once this dog can no longer do their job to the best of their ability, they will be retired (often to another family) and you will have another fully trained guide dog join your family.”
“Trained dogs are between two and three years old when they go to their job partner, depending on how long it takes to train them.”
“It’s not her life or vision, so it’s not her choice.”
“She can either get over it and deal with it, or let a service dog meant to improve your quality of life drive you two apart.”
“That’s her choice to make.”- TrelanaSakuyo.
“Your GF cares about her wants a lot more than your needs.”
“People like that do not get a vote in decisions you make about your life.”- Crackles247.
“If your GP thinks a guide dog could help you, and you are comfortable with this, then do it.”
“There’s a huge difference between getting a trained guide dog because you need one and going to the shelter and getting a puppy because you want one.”
“You don’t need your girlfriend’s permission here.”
“If she’s adamant about not living with a dog, then you all may have to negotiate that, but honestly, this sounds like it may be a fundamental incompatibility.”
“She’s ok telling you that she doesn’t want you to have this particular type of assistance because she doesn’t like it.”
“She is ok with you continuing to struggle in your daily life due to your disability so that her wishes (not needs, as it doesn’t appear she’s allergic or extremely fearful, etc.) can be accommodated.”
“This is incredibly self-centered behavior.”- epithet_grey.
It would arguably be one thing if the OP went and got a dog for a pet behind her girlfriend’s back.
But that her girlfriend would react so angrily over a decision made to improve her way of life is rather unsettling.
Here’s hoping she might come to realize what a difference this guide dog will make in the OP’s life, or she might not be her girlfriend for much longer.