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Woman Refuses To Give Parents Her Inheritance Money Despite Not ‘Technically’ Needing It


Money… it changes everything.

Money is an important part of life, but it can do things to people and relationships.

There is always a question of who deserves it and why.

That can lead to some thorny conversations.

Case in point…

Redditor Amy47101 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.

She asked:

“AITA for not giving my parents my inheritance even though I technically don’t need it?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“My (24 F[emale]) great grandfather passed from Covid in 2020.”

“He was 107.”

“In the event of his death, our grandmother (his daughter) was to give us (myself and my sisters, both 21 F) his ‘graduation present.'”

“Basically, a portion of our inheritance.”

“This particular check was about $20,000 dollars per kid.”

“And was kept aside for us three to have when we graduated college to help pay off some student loans, with ‘more on the way’ as we aged.”

“I got very lucky in life for someone my age, and I’m aware of this.”

“I went to a private college with almost 170k in scholarships, and had about 30k in federal loans after I was done and got my degree.”

“With the loan forbearance, I’ve managed to get my loans down to 18k.”

“Yesterday, as many know, the president announced 10k in student loan forgiveness.”

“I happen to qualify, which will knock my loans down to 8k.”

“Literally. All day. my parents have been harassing me to ‘give back great grandpa’s money.'”

“Basically, they found out that my grandparents handed it over a couple months ago, because we weren’t expecting the last forbearance extension.”

“According to my grandma, after the 10k announcement, my mom called and asked what they would do with my inheritance, and grandma explained she already gave it to me.”

“My parents are saying that, with the money I earn at my job and my 10k forgiveness, I don’t need the money.”

“My dad wants to take some courses that will enhance his business and my mom wants to take some ‘hobby art courses.'”

“I don’t know what to call them, they’re like classes to paint and stuff like that, but they aren’t college courses.”

“Honestly, they are kinda right.”

“I mean, on paper, I don’t really need the inheritance because I can pay off the 8k easily before the loans are even due in January.”

“However, it’s MINE.”

“Great grandpa had a stipulation that anything left over from the loans (if there was something) if ours to keep.”

“It’s not for anyone else, and my parents know this.”

“Not to mention, I believe my mother got a rather healthy inheritance from him as well, so I don’t see why they need my money specifically.”

“My grandparents are suuuuper angry at my parents for asking me for this.”

“But they’re the only ones on my side.”

“My sisters think I owe my parents for all they’ve done for me.”

“And my parents are going by the ‘What’s yours is mine as we spent XYZ to raise you, so you owe us now that you’re functioning.'”

“It’s really tiresome and really annoying.”

“I kinda just wanna block my whole family except my grandparents.”

“But even my friends are kinda leaning into what my parents are saying.”

“One even suggested that I was spoiled.”

“And that I should at least give them the 12k left over to be fair.”

“I’m too tired to deal with this.”


Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA?:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared our OP was NOT the A**hole.

Let’s hear some thoughts…

“NTA. If your sisters are so generous, let them give their inheritance to their parents.”

“It’s easy to be generous with other people’s money.”  ~ Inconceivable44

“NTA. That money is yours.”

“They have no right to guilt trip you.”

“Keep it safe for purchasing home or wedding or for some emergency down the road.”

“Your parents won’t keep aside anything for you even in their will, just to make a point.” ~ Jaded-Carpet-8829

“NTA. As the other commenter mentioned, you have/will have future plans and emergencies.”

“Emergencies are by definition unexpected and can be expensive.”

“Plus, you don’t ‘owe’ your parents for raising you.”

“Did you ask to be born? No!” ~ Huge_Industry_1259

“Someone else getting money makes people nuts.”

“Don’t give them a dime.”

“Your parents are out for themselves and not on your side.”

“You don’t owe them anything just because they gave birth to you and did what was expected like making sure you didn’t starve or be homeless.”  ~ NotBeingUniqueToday

“Jealousy was the first word that came to my mind as well.”

“OP’s parents’ request/demand for the money is just stupid.”

“I believe her ‘friends’ who are backing the parents are just pissed because she got something they aren’t getting.”

“NTA, OP. Your grandparents wanted to assist the flying start (that you earned) in life, not fund your parents’ whims.”

“You tuck that money away and don’t look back. Excelsior!”  ~ onaplinth

“Unfortunately OP, being a parent does not automatically stop you from being selfish and entitled.”

“It seems they can only think about their petty needs.”

“Yes, both of you parents wants are petty.”

“Your dad can claim any training for his business as a deduction and your mom wants money for a hobby.”

“They want, but don’t need.”

“Please OP, keep that money to pay off your student loan and the rest for your future.”

“That is what your great grandfather would have wanted.”  ~ KarenMaca

“NTA! Speaking as a parent, I am deeply ashamed of yours for being so damn greedy.”

“Tell your sisters to offer up their own inheritance if they are so generous, and you’ll see how quickly they turn their stories around on you.”

“The same goes for your phoney friends. It’s so damn easy to be generous with other people’s money.”

“That inheritance belongs to you, and you alone!”

“Tell your family to kick rocks, and block them all if you must.” ~ MyTesticlesAreBolas

OP gave more deets…

“I was diagnosed diabetic when I was 14 months old.”

“My mother, to her credit, gave up her career to monitor my disease.”

“My father, to his credit, worked his ass off to afford my insulin.”

“All my life that was dangled over my head.”

“Basically how far my mother could have gone, but instead of leaving me in a daycare or with my grandparents, she stayed home to raise me.”

“Sometimes I do wish they left me with my grandparents though.”

Reddit continued…

“I am truly sorry.”

“That is borderline emotionally abusive.”

“No one should ever hold their decisions over anyone else’s head.”

“They chose to have a child and being a parent means making sacrifices out of love and commitment.”

“They don’t get to turn it around on you for ANY reason no matter how much they ‘sacrificed.'”

“They are being greedy and selfish and manipulative.”

“They are trying to guilt you.”

“You don’t deserve that.”

“Take that money and build a healthy and happy future for yourself.”

“Good, healthy, caring parents should be thrilled you have the opportunity to come out ahead when so many struggle.”  ~ voiceofmyownsanity

“This is an extra good reason why you need to have a safety buffer.”

“You can’t trust your parents to provide for you.”

“And if you lose your job I’m the future, you’ll need money so you don’t run out of insulin.”

“You don’t owe your parents for providing for you with necessities growing up including medical care.”

“That’s their literal obligation as parents.” ~ asecretnarwhal

“That’s called PARENTING dear.”

“They were doing what parents should do.”

“You did not choose to be born, they brought you into this world.”

“That was their responsibility to give you the care you needed while you were underage.”

“Don’t feel guilty about that.”

“And tell your siblings to give your parents their money.”

“Because you are not giving them yours.”

“It’s your money, you can do whatever you want to do with it.”

“And, you need to stop discussing everything with your friends, especially your finances.”

“But think about it as a learning experience and cut those friends who are calling you spoiled.”

“They are not your friends.”

“Enjoy your life and find some new friends.”  ~ No-Understanding3278

“NTA. As a mom, I think it’s incredibly messed up when parents try to tell their children that the children (whom they brought into their family and/or made exist in the case of bio families) owe anything for the cost of being raised.”

“That’s not how that works, not even a little bit.”

“You owe your parents nothing.”

“You earned the scholarships, you got yourself a job.”

“Also, you’re still extremely young.”

“That money could be used to start a nest egg or build an emergency fund if anything unexpected happened to your health or job.”

“You have, hopefully, a long life left ahead of you and having a cushion is a gift that many never receive.”

“Your parents don’t need the money for essentials like food, or shelter, or medical care.”

“They want it for hobbies.”

“They’re adults, they can save their own d*mn money to fund their hobbies.” ~ Disneyland4Ever