The most difficult element about our emotions is that we ultimately have no control over them.
We simply never know when they may hit us, or just how we might react.
That being said, some people have a firmer handle on their emotions than others, and are able to at least reign them in, if not hide them completely.
On the flipside, many people have no problem with letting their emotions run wild, as they are simply honest responses to a situation.
Redditor dingotsick recently paid a visit to her parents, resulting in an emotional goodbye.
An emotional goodbye that didn’t go unnoticed by the original poster (OP)’s in-laws, who had plenty to say about what they witnessed.
Something the OP did not appreciate, resulting in her having plenty to say herself!
After being told she “overreacted”, the OP took to the subreddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for calling out my in-laws after they mocked my parents for crying?”
The OP explained why they felt the need to call out their in-laws:
“I (23 F[emale]) just had a baby after giving birth. I stayed with my parents for like 2 months before moving back home with my husband.”
“When my husband + his parents came to pick me up, my parents got emotional saying goodbye.”
“Like, yeah, they cried a bit, it was really sweet, honestly.”
“We don’t live close, and they won’t see us often.”
“But in the car, my in-laws started laughing about it?”
“Like saying ‘oh wow so dramatic’ and stuff.”
“I just sat there like… are you serious?”
“It felt so mean and disrespectful.”
“I ended up snapping and told them it wasn’t funny.”
“Then everyone went quiet, and later my husband told me I ‘overreacted’.”
“Btw, during those 2 months they barely texted or called to check on us, not even when the baby got sick twice.”
“And now they’re mocking my parents for caring too much?”
“Idk man.”
“AITA for calling them out?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community resoundingly agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for snapping at her in-laws.
Everyone agreed that it was a fairly clear sign of character that the OP’s in-laws found it funny that parents were emotional when she left, with many even urging the OP to seriously consider if staying in this marriage was a good idea.
“Your husband told you you overreacted because you snapped at your in-laws for laughing at your parents expressing quite understandable emotions.”
“I am so sorry that you have a child with this man.”
“NTA.”- notrainsaroundhere
“NTA at all!”
“Is your husband included in ‘barely texted or called?'”
“Because I can’t imagine having a newborn and one parent not being there.”
“Why did you have to live with your parents for two months after giving birth?”
“What was your husband doing?”- CharacterMission3245
“Maybe your parents were crying because they know you will have to fully fend for yourself and the baby, they know you’re leaving your support system.”
“I would go back to your parents until he gets it together and realizes his all-night gaming days are now bottles and diapers.”
“Your in-laws also sound like assholes who raised an incompetent a**hole.”
“NTA.”- Whorible_wife69
“Your parents may be seeing you again sooner than they think, permanently.”
“If your husband thinks like his parents and doesn’t support you, you’ll have some decisions to make.”
“Good for you, for calling out the in-laws’ bad behavior in the moment.”
“That was very rude and disturbing of them.”
“NTA.”- IllustriousBowler259
“NTA but after reading all the comments and your replies…do yourself a favor and pack your bags (with ALL of your stuff and your baby stuff) and go back to your parents house.”
“Or have your parents come get you two.”
“The very fact that you NEEDED to go back home to your parents’ house for help (AT ALL) should be enough of a spotlight on your RED FLAG of a LOSER husband.”
“This situation isn’t magically going to get better.”
“In a few weeks/months’ time, you’ll be so overwhelmed with everything that I’m actually scared for you.”
“LEAVE NOW, ASAP.”- National-Sir-5362
“NTA.”
“…you should really take a good long thought about the type of environment you want that baby growing up in.”
“One where it’s okay to show emotions when saying goodbye for what will likely be a long time, or one where gramma, grampa, and dad show them it’s okay to mock and look down on such a thing.”-Sorkijan
“You realize he will eventually get to a point where he tells your kid they’re ‘overreacting’, right?”
“Is that what you want?”
“A father who dismisses his child’s emotions and causes them to grow up questioning if they’re allowed to feel what they’re feeling?”
“NTA but I would think very carefully about what kind of lessons your child will learn from this man and his parents.”- DamnitGravity
“NTA.”
“What they did was rude and says a lot about them, that they view any display of true emotion as suspect because they don’t value real feelings.”
“Your husband, who has been trained to keep the peace with his parents, told you that you overreacted because he is uncomfortable when they’re uncomfortable and doesn’t actually stop to think if their discomfort is justified or not.”
“It was sh*tty of your in-laws and was sh*tty of your husband to basically stick up for them.”-inturnaround
“NTA.”
“It sounds like you should have stayed with your parents.”- Free-Place-3930
“Your in-laws are a-holes, and I am sad to report that the father of your child is too.”
“NTA.”- SalaudChaud
“NTA.”
“Your parents were saying goodbye to their daughter and grandchild, of course, they got emotional.”
“Your in-laws mocking them for caring is weird and cruel, especially when they couldn’t even bother to check in when the baby was sick.”- arickel
“Definitely NTA.”
“Your parents had a natural reaction to your departure.”
“They are going to very much miss their baby and her baby.”
“Your in-laws suck.”
“Your husband’s reaction to his parents’ insensitivity is also kinda sucky.”
“You did not overreact.”
“He probably thinks that you owe his parents an apology for snapping at them.”
“You don’t.”- PsychologyAutomatic3
“NTA.”
“But biggest concern is that your husband didn’t have your back.”
“Tell him he ‘under-reacted’.”
“Hope this is an isolated incident or you have a bigger issue.”- National_Pension_110
“NTA – Your in-laws were rude and disrespectful, and their son should have been the one to tell his parents to shut the fuck up and stop mocking his wife ‘s parents for caring.”
“I’m sorry your husband didn’t have your back.”
“Let him be the one to let his parents know they’re not seeing their grandbaby til they learn better manners.”- Enough-Process9773
“NTA.”
“Tell hubby to grow up, too.”
“They don’t get to belittle your parents then say you are overreacting.”- browneyedredhead1968
“NTA.”
“I could understand your in-laws not being the type of people that get emotional, but making comments about others’ emotions crosses a line.”
“My super tough, police officer father, cried when he first saw my son.”
“Not one person judged him, because they felt the same.”
“Your husband needs to step up for you and your family, and tell his parents to keep it to themselves.”
“He also owes you an apology for saying you overreacted.”- InitiativeGlad2952
“NTA.”
“I come from a ‘not crying/showing emotions is normal’ family, and first met my now husband through his extended family, who are big on showing emotion/crying.”
“It was an adjustment.”
“But I would never say they are overreacting.”
“They aren’t being dramatic, they are just more expressive than I am used to.”
“You didn’t overreact.”
“You husband underreacted to his parents insulting your parents.”- EquivalentTwo1
“NTA.”
“But you have a husband problem more than an in-law problem.”
“If my parents said anything like that to my spouse and the mother of my child, I’m kicking their a**es out of the car or finding another ride if they drove.”
“No way in hell are they disrespecting her that way.”- Your_Daddy_1972
“NTA.”
“Your husband is as insensitive to you & your family as his parents are.”
“I’m so sorry.”- BlueyIsAwesome
“NTA.”
“Your in-laws are…wow.”- srgonzo75
“NTA.”
“Your in-laws suck, and your husband sucks.”
“Maybe they have problems expressing emotions, and it makes them uncomfortable, but that’s their problem, not yours.”
“Good for standing up for your parents.”- Goobjigobjibloo
For better or worse, no one can help how they feel.
Including the OP’s in-laws, and how they felt about the OP’s parents’ emotional goodbye.
Even so, what they did have control over was when they chose to make those remarks, which should have been out of earshot of the OP.
Should the OP do what so many members of the Reddit community have urged her to do and leave her husband, it will be interesting to see how emotional the OP’s in-laws might get at the thought of not seeing their grandchild for extended periods of time.