Breakups are never easy.
Even if a couple ends their relationship on amicable terms, there is always going to be a large amount of emotional strain, as they were forced to admit that they weren’t compatible partners.
Unfortunately, far too many relationships end on acrimonious terms, resulting in ongoing unpleasantness and animosity between the pair.
When Redditor AberStafsha ended their relationship, they thought that that chapter in their life was over.
Until shortly thereafter, the original poster (OP)’s ex brought numerous other people into their breakup, making serious accusations while doing so.
So slanderous were these accusations that the OP found themself forced to take fairly drastic measures.
After being told by some friends that they had gone too far, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for suing my ex?”
The OP explained that after their ex made very serious allegations against them in a highly public manner, the OP felt they had no other choice but to take legal action.
“So I dated a YouTuber.”
“We went out for about a year and it was alright but they were so emotionally invested in their channel that they constantly neglected me and made me feel like I wasn’t a priority.”
“Not really important why we broke up, but we broke up.”
“Then I get a bunch of messages from friends about 3 months later telling me to go to their channel.”
“I’m pretty much done with them but I do and I realize they made a video about me where they claim I was emotionally abusive.”
“I continued to get messages from strangers telling me how awful a person I was and how they hoped I died through various means.”
“So I sued my ex.”
“It ruined them.”
“I knew they were financially in a bad spot and they likely couldn’t afford court fees but the case dragged.”
“They made a video about not being able to afford court costs and such and how it was going to ruin them.”
“After which a bunch of friends started telling me to just let it go and move on but I had sunk money into the case as well.”
“It wasn’t cheap for me either so I didn’t just let it go.”
“Eventually the judge ruled in my favor and I received a total of nothing from my ex.”
“But it meant I could link to the result in the comments section of every video she tried to frame me as the bad guy because in our state, court proceedings are public record.”
“Suddenly her viewership dropped and she blamed me for ruining her life.”
“A bunch of my friends said I went too far and should’ve just taken the court win and left her alone.”
“Was I the a**hole?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
While the Reddit community was somewhat divided, with many agreeing that the OP was not the a**hole for suing their ex, but others less than convinced.
Many felt that the OP did, indeed, have no other choice than to sue after they put the OP into an emotionally and physically dangerous situation.
“Actions have consequences.”
“Her ‘content’ could have ruined YOUR life, but nobody thinks about that huh?”- Nozxx
“The ex shouldn’t be using a private relationship for youtube views, and deserves everything they got.”- redditiscraptbh
“Don’t feel badly, part of enforcing a libel or slander suit is to publicize it so that the public record is corrected.”- 2Tosties1Poutine
“That’s called liable.”
“You were 100% in the right to sue her.”- littlegremlinsparky
“She doesn’t think it’s her fault for you know slandering you?”- bagfullofbeers93
“But I’m confused, you won the case and she didn’t have to take the video down?”
“What the hell kinda law/ruling is that?”- nightmonkey90
Others however were a little less convinced that the OP was as innocent as he seemed, and didn’t feel comfortable making a judgment without more information.
“Uhhhhh… bro is there a chance you might have been actually abusive though?”
“Everyone here is saying NT.A but there’s really no context about what your relationship was like.”
“What were some of the things she claimed you did/how do you refute that?”
“This lacks a lot of the essential information.”
“Just because the court found you innocent doesn’t make it an objective truth.”
“The reason why you broke up sounds more important to the story than it seems.”- geekdetective
“To be fair, I kinda hope his ex will find this post and is gonna tell her side of the story.”
“Because there’s a lot of information missing here and OP is pretty vague about the whole situation.”- eefjer85
“If there’s a link about what the court ruled on, then I find that pretty relevant.”
“Or at least, I doubt that a judge weighed in on whether or not OP was emotionally abusive.”
“Or even if the judge ruled in favor of OP in a case of slander, which was not specified in the post.”
“Very interested in what exactly OP sued for, because everyone is just assuming it’s slander.”
“Seems like he could’ve sued for her sharing personal info, which doesn’t necessarily mean that what she said in the video was false.”
“Also, I find it very curious that the result of this case was in OP’s favor, but OP was awarded no damages.”
“So a judge looked at what happened and decided that OP deserved no damages past just an acknowledgement that the YouTubing ex did do something wrong.”
“Finally, the reason why OP and ex broke up seems like it might be pretty relevant.”
“Seems like info on any of the above could make this a NTA, YTA, or ESH.”
“Right now there are just too many blanks to fill in.”- BIGoleICEBERG
“Why did you break up?”
“That’s going to play a big role on determining if this was slander or not.”- sarahkazz
“Why did you break up? “
“You’ve only answered that the court ruled in your favor and that you view yourself as a good guy.”
“It seems like you’re deliberately not sharing pertinent details.”- matcha-hatcha
“Did you ask your ex to take the video down and talk to her fans about harassment, or did you jump straight to suing?”- sharshenka
“You claim that the reason you broke up isn’t important.”
“I think it likely is.”
“She says you were emotionally abusive, which is basically impossible to prove in court.”
“And likely not what you were having to prove in your case at all in order to win it.”
“I’m not saying you are.”
“What I am saying is that you are basically saying that you aren’t any of the things she claims, without saying what it was she claimed, without offering any explanation, and wanting everyone to be on your side.”
“Seems to me where she likely f*cked up here was using your name.”
“Did she use your name?”
“She must have if you won the suit and strangers were messaging you.”- imaslayeraskmehow07
“Was there was no attempt to reconcile without a lawsuit first?”
“Why did you two break up?”- Kalel2319
“I think that the exact detail to decide whether or not OP is the a**hole is missing.”
“What were actions that OP’s ex claimed he was abusive and of course what the details are of the court case.”- Nice_try_though16
“Sorry but, was she lying in the video, or did she provide context to your relationship being abusive?”
“Did you try and warn her first that if you didn’t take it down, you would go for legal action?”
“You’re not the AH for her Youtube channel dying, but that part I think is more important here.”-AndrewB493
“Not enough info.”
“So, where you emotionally abusive?”
“What did the court rule in your favor?”
“That she couldn’t prove you were emotionally abusive?”- akelew
While a select few felt that the OP’s decision to leave out those important details suggested he must have been guilty, leading them to declare them the a**hole.
“You didn’t give the full story so how can anyone determine if you’re the AH.”
“If you really were abusive, and you then went out of your way to ruin her life.”
“You know what, I feel like an emotionally abusive person would be so vindictive as to do something like this.”
“I don’t think any of us can make a proper judgement and the people trying are wrong for it.”
“I think that if you WERE emotionally abusive that she had every f*cking right to talk about it.”
“Unless she straight up LIED about events outright then I think YTA.”- PurpleDot0
Making false accusations against someone can cause irreparable damage to their lives, even if the accusations are later proven to be false.
Which makes the OP’s decision to sue their ex completely valid.
If the accusations were, in fact, false, that is.