It’s that time of the year again.
The holidays are in full swing and the celebrations abound.
Christmas parties are a seasonal staple for many.
So people are getting those Christmas party menus together.
It’s time for good food and good cheer.
But all of that good food doesn’t come for free.
Redditor QueenMoonshadow191 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
“AITA for charging my family for my baking?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“There’s a lot of context, please bear with me haha… 🙂 “
“I (15 F[emale]) am a theater kid.”
“I used to have a tradition of baking and decorating sugar cookies for the cast and crew of every show that I was in.”
“The cookies started out relatively simple with very basic designs, but the casts I was in grew progressively larger, and over time my designs got more elaborate.”
“It got to the point where I would spend 12 hours in the kitchen baking cookies for 50 people, in addition to 3 other deserts for all of the people with dietary restrictions.”
“The last batch I made for theater was in fall 2023, and then I stopped.”
“I haven’t baked for any cast I’ve been in since then.”
“For the past 2 years now, my Mom has hosted a December Christmas party at our house, with around 50-65 people attending.”
“My sisters (twins, 13 F) bake 3-4 deserts for the party, while I make my sugar cookies and a charcuterie board.”
“The charcuterie board takes less than an hour, but on average, my cookies take longer than all of their desserts combined.”
“For the past 2 years, I have made around 40 cookies for the party.”
“My parents pay for ingredients.”
“This year, we are inviting over 100 people.”
“My Mom has asked me to make 100 cookies and offered me an incentive of $75 upon seeing my less-than-enthusiastic reaction.”
“The cookie cutters I’m using this year are smaller than the ones I’ve used before; however, it will be significantly more decorating than last year, considering I quadrupled rather than doubled my dough recipe this year (at my Mom’s request).”
“These cookies will be a 4-day project (one day for dough, one day for baking, and two for decorating).”
“I did the dough yesterday, which is the easiest part, and still took an hour and a half.”
“With the time commitment I’ll be putting in, I asked my mom to pay me an hourly rate for my cookies, which I haven’t done before.”
“I would log how many hours I worked over the 4 days, and we could negotiate what that rate would actually be after the party was over.”
“My initial suggestion was $20 per hour, which I am aware is high, but I was more than open to negotiating a lower rate with her.”
“She told me that I wasn’t being generous and that I shouldn’t be charging her money because she’s family.”
“She said that she had offered me the $75 as an incentive, but I should be making the cookies to contribute to the party rather than to make money because baking cookies for her shouldn’t be considered a service.”
“She said that it was unfair of me to charge her when I made the theater cookies for free.”
“My Dad agrees with her, and my sisters are mad that I’m asking for money while they’re making their deserts for free.”
“Which is none of my business, in my opinion, if they want to be paid they should ask.”
“I don’t think I’m being unreasonable for wanting to be paid for a likely 12+ hour commitment, but I thought I’d ask here.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP WAS the A**hole.
“Honestly… YTA.’
“You agreed, and then you went back for more.”
“You also have to remember that you’re not buying all of the baking supplies yourself.”
“You didn’t furnish the kitchen.”
“You don’t pay the lights, water, or rent for the house.”
“IF you were applying to be a baker, then yes, an hourly rate is more than fair.”
“IF you were buying everything yourself and needed compensation, then it would be fair.”
“But… At $75, to make 100 cookies?”
“That’s not actually all that bad already, and it was kind of a d*ck move to try and beg for more.”
“Also… $20/hr?”
“You want full living wages to bake cookies for a family at 15?”
“And you’re saying this is 12+ hrs of work?”
“Nah… At MOST… 100 cookies + simple decorating is 6-8 hrs, and you can get decent bakeshop cookies for $10/dozen.”
“$75 was far more than fair considering the circumstances and the fact that you’re still getting the experience and the time in practice without having to pay for lessons/space/equipment/ingredients.” ~ AnonAnontheAnony
“Maybe OP should recognize the fact that she was baking and decorating cookies for her entire theater cast and crew ‘for free.'”
“Except it wasn’t free… it was at the expense of her parent’s pocketbooks.”
“At 13 OP was not paying for their own ingredients to bake these cookies for the theater kids.”
“They’d have said so.”
“So OP’s parents not only supported their child’s desire to be in theater… they also nurtured their child’s baking ambitions.”
“Only for that same child to turn around less than 2 years later and charge them more than $75 to bake 100 cookies.”
“If I was OP‘s parents I’d agree to what OP has asked.”
“Then when it comes time to pay her, I’d deduct the cost of ingredients, energy used, garbage accumulated, gas going to and from the store, as well as taking out a % for taxes.” ~ StatementElectronic7
“100% agree with this comment.”
“It blows my mind how entitled/selfish teens can be with their own family, especially with parents who financially support their interests/desires like this.”
“A lot of teens don’t have it as good as OP.”
“OP is still a child, so maybe I should grant some grace but JC, OP needs to work on their values.””
“I’ve always helped my family with cooking, cleaning, etc.”
“And it’s taken multiple days of my time.”
“It’s expected of us to help each other.”
“I also know there’s not enough I could do in this world to ever repay them for what they’ve done for me, and I know they’d do more in a heartbeat if needed.”
“I’d be disappointed in OP if they were my child.”
“I hope to raise my child better.”
“We should all help each other.”
“Oh, and OP is definitely the A-hole.” ~ yodayine
“4 days of work is more work than a family party is worth.”
“Mum should just spend the $75 on buying premade cookies.”
“But YTA for agreeing, then changing your mind OP.” ~ comfortablynumb15
“YTA. Do you know how much work Christmas is for your mom?”
“Waaaaay more than you think it is.”
“She asked you for help.”
“You shouldn’t need to pay, you should just do it.” ~ mousepallace
“Your mother has already offered to pay you $75 to bake the cookies, so it seems like she understands how much effort you put into making them.”
“I’m a mother, and I’m certain she’s put in uncountable hours doing kind things for you.”
“A local baker charges $10/dozen for their specialty cookies, which is about what you’re getting—and she pays for the ingredients.”
“It sounds greedy to charge your mother more. YTA.” ~ General_Relative2838
“A gentle YTA.”
“You are young but it is time to start appreciating what your parents do for you.”
“Making these cookies is a nice thing that you can do to contribute.”
“Getting $75 for it is really nice.”
“I recently purchased 8 dozen large decorated cookies for my cast and paid $150.”
“You are getting a good price.”
“$20 per hour is not the going rate for a commercial baker.”
“Hourly help gets less than that and is expected to work at a much faster rate than you are going.”
“Get in the holiday spirit and make this your pleasant contribution to the party.” ~ EmceeSuzy
“YTA. Who’s paying your mom for preparing the entrees and the main dish, the sides, decorating, organizing everything?”
“What she’s doing is A LOT more work than what she’s asking you.”
“She was nice enough to offer you money for it, and you took advantage of it.” ~ JuiceOk6582
“Sorry sis YTA.”
“Do you know how much money is gonna go towards the ingredients for your cookies?”
“Not to mention you said the food was going to be catered, which is also hella expensive.”
“Most bakers charge a lot because they’re incorporating the cost of materials plus their labor.”
“You’re only doing the labor.”
“So to ask for more money on top of what your mom is offering plus what she’s already going to be spending (for you!!!) is very A-holey.” ~ Annual_Fall1440
“YTA. You don’t have to make every cookie super fancy.”
“Just do most of them with simple frosting designs.”
“Tell your mom ahead of time that you’re doing this to set her expectations at a reasonable level.”
“Make only a few time-consuming ones for fun if you want to.” ~ MissAuroraRed
“Sorry, but YTA.”
“This is for a family party?”
“Do you get to attend?”
“Your parents but the ingredients.”
“I assume they did for your theater cookies too.”
“Who is paying the electric bill?”
“You are using electricity to make these cookies.”
“Who pays for all of the equipment in the kitchen?”
“Mixer, baking sheets, mixing bowls, and on and on.”
“If you want $20 per hour, you need to be paying for everything you use.”
“The electricity, and rental fees for everything you use.”
“The kitchen space.”
“Do you have any idea how much time and effort, and money, your mom has put into Christmas for you every year?”
“At 15 years old, I’d say you owe her about 20 years of baking cookies for her Christmas party.”
“Bake the cookies.”
“Get in the Christmas Spirit.”
“Do something nice for your parents, without expecting anything in return.” ~ Fickle_Toe1724
“YTA. Requesting payment for cookies baked for your family is not cool.”
“Do you think anyone else in your family is expecting an hourly wage for their contributions to the holiday meal?”
“Think about how much effort your mom is putting in to host this party, I guarantee it’s more than you baking 100 cookies.”
“The idea of a family gathering is that everyone pitches in voluntarily to enjoy a good meal together.”
“It’s fine for you to ask for help from the rest of your family, or to simplify the design for the cookies to make it an easier task, but this idea of getting paid an hourly wage for your contributions to a family meal should be off the table.” ~ abrady44_
“YTA. As long as the cookies don’t interfere with your schoolwork, job, or extracurricular activity that will net you a college scholarship, do it.”
“Don’t bite the hands that feed you (literally).”
“Consider offering your sisters some of the $75 to help you so your time investment isn’t so high.” ~ HedgieTwiggles
“YTA. If you were using ingredients you bought, it would be one thing, but even then, you could have just done your family a favor.” ~ yobaby123
“YTA, when you don’t want to do it, then say no.”
“And you decided to do a fancy design, so it takes longer.” ~ Dry-Personality-9123
“LOL. LMAO even.”
“Sure, feel free to charge $20 per hour for cookies for your mom.”
“Don’t be surprised when mom hits you with your share of the rent, groceries, utilities etc, etc.”
“Be for real right now. YTA.” ~ t3hnosp0on
Some clarifications from OP:
“I did not accept the $75 and then change my mind.”
“I said right away to my Mom that I wanted hourly over a $75 flat rate.”
“If I had done that I would have just stuck it out.”
“This is a 4-day project around school and homework.”
“I’m in high school and finals are coming up.”
“The decorating involves royal icing and a few sprinkles.”
“This website has some similar cookies: https://theamericanpatriette.com/easy-royal-icing-recipe/”
2nd UPDATE:
“My mom just told me to take it up with my Dad, who agreed to pay me $15 per hour for my fancy designs, which is more than fine with me.”
“After rolling out and baking all of the dough, I have 134 cookies and extremely sore hands lol.”
“I’m starting icing tonight.”
“If I can figure out how I’ll post a picture of the cookies when they’re done.”
“Thank you to everyone in the comments who was civil and respectful. 🙂 “
Well OP, it’s nice to hear you found a solution.
Reddit did seem to take issue with your situation.
But this was a matter between you and your parents. It’s great that you and your Dad could compromise.
Hopefully, the cookies are a sensation!
Happy Holidays!