Accidents happen, and we all have days when it feels like everything that could possibly work against us does.
With that in mind, even the most organized and responsible person could miss a flight and have to book another.
That said, not following through and missing a flight could also clearly indicate that someone really doesn't care about where they're going or who they're going to see, pointed out the members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subReddit.
Redditor throwawayburner2424 had been dating his girlfriend for a little over a year, and he was confident that their relationship was going well and that they were handling their long-distance arrangement splendidly.
But when he booked his girlfriend a flight to come and see him, and she missed the flight, gave a lot of excuses for missing it, and showed no effort in remedying the situation, the Original Poster (OP) questioned whether or not she cared about him anymore.
He asked the sub:
"Am I overreacting by breaking up with my girlfriend for missing her flight?"
The OP's girlfriend missed the flight that he booked for her.
"My (24 Male) girlfriend (21 Female) and I have been dating long distance for almost a year now."
"I bought her a plane ticket to come see me yesterday, but she conveniently slept through '20 alarms' and left her bag in her mother's car, who was at work (they don't live together; she was just spending the night), and THEN she couldn't find her ID."
"I don't know, all of it just seems suspicious and weird as f**k."
The OP didn't understand how this could have happened.
"Before people start claiming she's a catfish, she isn't. We've met in person multiple times before this."
"I don't know, I just feel like if I were as important to her as she claims, she wouldn't have missed the flight."
"I know I wouldn't have if the situations were reversed."
"She didn't wake up until an hour before her flight, and she lives 40 minutes away from the airport."
"I spent 650 dollars booking her tickets, only for her to miss the flight and then get mad at me for being upset."
The OP was shocked because he thought their relationship was going so well.
"We normally have an amazing relationship, but this was a big deal to me."
"It's not even the money. I had been dealing with a lot lately, and seeing her would've meant the world to me."
"Plus, the fact that I had planned so many activities and dates for us to do, it really let me down."
"I just want to know if I'm overreacting for leaving her after this."
"The day before the flight, we barely even talked, and she just seemed so nonchalant about it and didn't seem to have anything planned."
"She then said she would rebook for today, and then 'a lot' happened, and... yep, she's still not here."
"I'm just bummed about the whole experience, honestly."
"AIO?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NOR: Not Overreacting
- YOR: You're Overreacting
Some side-eyed the ex-girlfriend, suspicious that she never planned to board that flight.
"This girl had zero plan on getting on that flight. As to why? We didn't know yet."
"But this is certainly worthy of ending it. Sounds like she already may have."
"NOR." - Hot_Debate6673
"NOR. If someone is acting that checked out about a trip you paid for, it’s hard not to feel like you’re the only one actually trying here." - Jeffstrongman_11
"How does a growna** woman not have an ID on her for a domestic flight!?"
"...I could understand it happening if she forgot her passport for an international flight by accident, but not even having her license or wallet on her at all is super weird to have happened."
"And THEN not to be sooo excited to come see you and anxious to get to the airport on time is very strange."
"Can she now use the airline credit for herself since you bought the ticket in her name?"
"If I were the OP, I would be questioning if she purposely had you purchase this so she could miss the flight and use the credit toward a different destination." - Public-Tumbleweed713
"A supposedly good friend of mine did this to me, and it was so upsetting. He was going to stay at my place, so I got extra bedding and cleaned up and stuff."
"No replies on the morning of his flight, no replies after his flight should have landed, nothing for 10 hours, and then he tells me he just woke up."
"F**k that s**t. He's not a friend, and she's not a girlfriend." - lushico
"I have the most insane ADHD and time blindness, and I would never. I've missed tons of flights I've paid for, but I would NEVER take the chance of missing a flight on someone else's dime unless it was an absolute emergency. Wild." - -kittsune-
"NOR. The cluster is the tell. Any one of those alone is bad luck, but slept through alarms AND forgot the bag AND lost the ID, on the one morning she's flying to you, after a quiet, checked-out day?"
"I think she already decided not to go, to be honest."
"Her getting mad at YOU seals it, guilt looks like apology, defensiveness looks like covering something. Have one straight conversation first, so you leave knowing, not guessing."
"In my opinion, it will be the best decision. Then you can walk away clean!" - Mariusz_Bobek
Others agreed and reassured the OP that a real girlfriend would want to see him and would figure it out.
"NOR. If she wanted to see you, she would see you." - SuckMachine98
"She didn’t even have to pay for it. She just had to show up! She's not it." - Pepsicolaa5
"If my significant other paid for my flight to go see them, I would be like six hours early at the airport, especially if I felt they needed me. I’m sorry that she did that to you… You’re NOR." - Fearless-Honeydew614
"NOR. I’ve done long-distance; I would not have missed the flight. It’s disrespectful to you, and it says there’s something else going on that she’s just not sharing with you."
"Long distance is hard, and it requires extra effort from both parties. She's clearly not ready to share that effort with you, and you deserve a partner who is." - TongaTra
"Slept through TWENTY alarms... Forgot the ONE bag she needed for a TRIP... Couldn't find her ID that she should have had ready at LEAST the day before, if not sooner..."
"I have a hard time believing any of this happened. I think she just didn't want to come and tried to make it sound 'good.'"
"But if allll the facts are true, why would you want to be in a relationship with someone so irresponsible?"
"OP, either she was flaking on purpose, or she’s a flake you definitely don’t want to be involved with. Can you imagine having to make life decisions with someone like this? H**llll no. This is someone you can NEVER depend on, and you don't want that in a friend, let alone a romantic partner." - LaurelCanyoner
"Nah, that big time sucks. I would be so bummed if this happened to me, I would definitely feel like an afterthought. Who sleeps through 20 alarms, doesn’t know where their ID is on the day of a PLANNED flight, and forgets their bag?"
"None of that sounds like an accident, more of an excuse. I know personally I’m packed like two days before, have my ID at the most accessible and memorable place and cannot sleep fully the day before a trip."
"Let’s say it was all an accident, she is still diminishing your feelings by saying you can’t be upset about it. She should be empathetic and apologetic. NOR." - Lizzbeannn
"How would this NOT be a dealbreaker? NOR."
"The sleeping-through alarms (whether intentional or not), forgetting a bag in someone else’s car, AND can’t find her ID? Those aren’t coincidences. She’s an adult; at this point, they’re just excuses."
"This visit was not a priority for her, and she wasted your time and money."
"A decent (literally bare minimum) partner would put more effort into being there when their significant other is struggling." - chollar01
"Ouch. Sounds like she has mentally checked out without giving you the courtesy of closure. What a nice person she is, huh? I’m sorry, OP. Really. She sucks." - SCfroglegs
"NOR. $650 is a small price to pay to find out someone is not your person. It's cost me a lot more in the past." - motherofachimp99
"May your kind of love find me, OP. I promise I'll respect it." - fvirygothmom
The subReddit was angry on the OP's behalf that his girlfriend had clearly checked out of the relationship without giving the OP the benefit of closure or saving money on an unnecessary plane ticket.
It would have been so much easier for her to end things than to dance around the subject and invent a bunch of excuses not to board the plane, but instead, she made the OP unpack the underlying message instead.
