As humans, we’re obviously not all going to like the same thing.
And there are some things, like snakes and spiders, that most of us do agree on.
But there are other topics that people can’t get their mind around someone not liking, like puppies, agreed the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
Redditor CheapBeautiful6357 was adamantly against dogs and was struggling to continue being friends with someone who got a dog during the pandemic.
When their friend showed up to dinner with the dog, the Original Poster (OP) simply could not continue with their evening.
He asked the sub:
“AITA for leaving when our friends brought their dog to dinner?”
The OP was not a dog person.
“I (27 Male) planned a night out with my fiancée (28 Female) and our friends (both late 20s) at a trendy restaurant near where we live.”
“Back info: We aren’t dog people. I’ve had girlfriends end relationships with me over the fact I don’t want a dog.”
“On the topic of pets, my current spouse is very compatible. They just aren’t our thing and our friends know this about us.”
“They know we aren’t the type to pet them all. I avoid dogs. If I’m outside, I intentionally walk out of my way to avoid them.”
The OP struggled to continue being friends with someone who had become a dog person.
“Our friends, however, are now pet people. They got a dog during the pandemic.”
“They’ve become the people that take it everywhere with them.”
“My fiancé and I do hang out with them less because of it.”
The OP wanted to eat indoors to avoid the restaurant’s dog-friendly patio.
“We showed up about 10 minutes early for our reservation. I intended to eat indoors.”
“A key part of this story, nearly every restaurant has patios that are dog friendly while indoors are not. It’s nearly impossible to find non-pet-friendly patios.”
“It turns out our friends beat us there. We were led to a patio table and saw they brought their dog.”
“I say, ‘No, I’m not doing this. What are you thinking bringing that?'”
“My fiancée and I went inside to see if the bar had any seats, and my buddy chased us down and explained the dog sitter fell through and the dog would just lay there and not bother us.”
“I said I did not care, that I was not sure why they needed a sitter for their dog and that we weren’t spending our meals with a dog. I told him it was f**ked up to spring his dog on us.”
The friendship was potentially over after that.
“There were no bar seats, so my fiancée and I decided to leave.”
“My buddy said I was an a**hole.”
“I told him I was not spending time with his dog and we would figure out somewhere else to go instead.”
“I got texts saying how f**ked up what we did was.”
“Am I the a**hole here?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some thought the OP had set a boundary that friends should be able to respect.
“I think it’s totally fine for OP to have this boundary. OP may view dogs as obnoxious or scary, and depending on his life experience, that might be totally valid. Maybe he was attacked by one as a kid, or maybe he was around one that begged for food all the time or jumped and slobbered or shed all over people.”
“Given that his friends knew this was a firm boundary for him, I think it was wrong of them to just show up with the dog and ignore his boundary rather than telling him they’d have to bring the dog with them.”
“I love dogs, and babies, and nonvenomous snakes/spiders. I’d cheerfully eat dinner next to any of the above. But if I knew a friend really found it hard to be around my toddler or tarantula or whatever, I wouldn’t bring them to dinner with that friend unannounced, however much I love them and consider them to be well-behaved and inoffensive.” – whatdowetrynow
“OP doesn’t like dogs. That’s fine. OP doesn’t want to be around dogs. That’s also fine. OP doesn’t want to eat in the presence of dogs. Again, That’s fine.”
“OP’s friends know how OP feels about dogs. Friends decided that OP’s feelings on the matter are worth less than their own.”
“OP is NTA.”
“I love animals. Dogs are awesome. That said, I find people who bring their dogs with them everywhere to be AHs. Why? Because not everyone likes dogs. I love my dog to death, but if I had a friend that didn’t like dogs, guess what? I’m not going to force that friend to be around my dog.” – Aidyn_the_Grey
“Sounds like the friends have Main Character Syndrome. Some dog owners have main character syndrome and believe they and their dogs take precedence over anyone else.”
“God forbid someone not like dogs or not want to be around dogs. They will sooner accept folks not liking children or wanting to be around children than they will accept people not liking or wanting to be around dogs.”
“It’s utter madness. And it’s mostly ALWAYS dog owners. Very rarely cats or other pet owners. OP is very much NTA. OP’s friends are very much the AHs here.” – ReceptionPuzzled1579
“It’s funny to me how the friends say, ‘the dog will just lie there,’ in the same breath as, ‘the sitter canceled.'”
“IF their dog were well-behaved enough to just lie there at a busy restaurant (extremely unlikely), there wouldn’t be a need for a dog sitter for a couple of hours.”
“Friends are full of BS and intentionally brought the dog to force it on OP. Good for OP for standing up for himself. NTA.” – tweedcheerios
“There are people who just don’t like dogs, and that’s ok. The older I get, the more exposed to bad dog owners that I encounter, and the less I like dogs because of it. Some smell, some bark obnoxiously, some shed all over the place, some are anxious and excitable, etc.”
“They made dinner plans. It’s not like OP is making the city get rid of dog parks or attacking people with seeing eye/medical alert dogs.” – Physical_Bit7972
“I love dogs. I always had dogs, but this new trend of taking them everywhere is super weird. I think it’s cute and all. If I see a dog around, I go all petting mode… but, dude.”
“Chill. You can leave your dog from time to time, especially if you are knowingly going to meet somebody who obviously doesn’t enjoy their company.”
“Forcing other people to do things they don’t like while they made it super clear that they don’t want to do is a super AH move, in my opinion.” – DangleenChordOfLife
“It’s insane that they couldn’t leave the dog at home. I personally wouldn’t care if that happened to me, and I certainly wouldn’t impose my dog on others in the same way. I know my dog is old and needy, so he would be a nuisance.”
“If these owners really believed their dog would be no bother and would just lie there, then why didn’t they leave him at home to just lie there instead?”
“It was planned, and common courtesy would be to inform their dining partners of the situation rather than waste their time going to the restaurant. They knew the OP wouldn’t go for it, so did the old seek forgiveness rather than ask permission.” – IronDuke365
But others thought the OP was being way over-the-top with his dog-hate.
“Not liking dogs is fine… he wasn’t asked to pet the dog, interact with it, care for it, or anything of the sort. He was asked to sit near it in a public location where dogs are allowed.”
“I truly do not understand his issue and what he was thinking.” – Realistic-Taste-7660
“If OP was eating on a dog-friendly patio, there could have easily been other dogs there. So, a dog just being in his presence seems to be a problem, and that, in my opinion, is a problematic thing. I get he doesn’t like dogs. But a dog just sitting on the patio should not be a big deal.” – Unfair_Finger5531
“YTA. Why would a dog being near you inconvenience you at all?”
“And see friends less because of it?”
“Why are you so weird? You’re the a**hole to cancel plans and throw a fit over something so small.”
“Grow up.” – Scoobydoobied
“YTA. You don’t need to pet the dog. They require less attention in public than children, so your blind hatred is frankly weird and very melodramatic for a hang-out session.” – SwooshSwooshJedi
“I’m going to go with YTA because it’s one thing to be allergic to dogs or to have an irrational fear of them due to some trauma, but simply not liking dogs shouldn’t be on a level that you can’t have one nearby for an hour or two.”
“It’s like, it’s fine to not like country music, but if you get all furious and storm out of someplace because you hear a country song, you’re making your distaste for something your entire personality.”
“And that’s what you’re doing with this. If you don’t like dogs, fine. It shouldn’t be your entire personality though. It’s obnoxious.” – trailer_trash_dreams
“YTA. It’s one meal. If they brought it to your house, absolutely, but this wasn’t that. So dramatic.” – Fooftato
“‘What are you doing bringing that?’ ‘That’? Really? YTA for that comment alone.”
“Not TA for not liking dogs, but your complete overreaction, attitude, and disrespect make you one, big time.” – Few-Cash-6503
“YTA. What the h**l did that dog ever do to you? It’s not just that you don’t want a dog. It sounds like you don’t want ANYone to have a dog (even in a place that allows them). I just… don’t get it. What’s the big deal? You’re not telling us the whole story.”
“Is the dog unruly? Does it jump on you or lick you? Is it untrained and annoying? Because I know friends who have dogs like that, and it can be a bit much when the dog is all over you.”
“But you don’t mention anything about the dog’s behavior in your post; it’s just that it EXISTS that it’s (gasp) in YOUR VICINITY. The nerve.”
“This is a ‘you’ thing. And it’s making you an a**hole and creating rifts in your friendships. You should be able to sit at a table with your friends despite a dog being there. You’re creating the issue, not them.”
“But just based on your post, I don’t think people saying you’re TA is going to change your behavior one bit. So, I guess to say goodbye to your friends with dogs.” – nennjau
The subReddit was just as divided over this one as the friends were.
Some were with the friends and found the OP to be seriously overreacting to the situation, but there were others who felt that the friends could have respected the OP’s boundaries and discomfort with dogs… even if one evening on a patio wouldn’t have been the worst thing.