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Redditor Called ‘Selfish’ For Refusing To Agree To A Double Wedding With Estranged Sister

A bride sits with her arms out weighing options

Family loves to make some strange requests.

Sometimes the ideas are great.

Other times, not so much.

Requests involving one’s wedding can make things especially awkward.

Who wants a double wedding?

Case in point…

Redditor Bubbly_Spite6901 wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback. So naturally, they came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.

They asked:

“AITA for saying I will never do a double wedding with my sister?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“I got engaged in 2018.”

“I am getting married later this year.”

“We have pretty much everything planned.”

“My sister (a year younger than me) got engaged last year and announced her wedding day as the same as mine a while ago.”

“All our cousins said they would go to my wedding.”

“This led to her and my parents reaching out after being low contact with them for years (will explain more in just a sec) and saying we should do a double wedding and she won’t miss out.”

“I found it such a ridiculous request and said so and told them I would never do a double wedding with her.”

“They act like I was sooo rude.”

“Sister has always been an attention hog.”

“Our parents encouraged it.”

“But she’s also the mean girl.”

“When we were kids the adults really loved her and thought she was such a perfect girl but to me, to our cousins, she was awful.”

“She was a bully.”

“A few times she would actively tell me when she was planning to take attention from me on my birthday or my graduation.”

“She was like that with our cousins as well.”

“Sometimes it was getting attention on her and getting whoever’s birthday it was in trouble.”

“She made up so many lies about us.”

“So I ended up low contact with them (her and my parents) as adults.”

“I know from my cousins she hasn’t changed at all.”

“Last time I saw her was before Covid and she tried to say I stole her food.”

“So I said what I said when asked to do the double wedding and the flying monkeys have started coming for me, in the form of aunts and uncles, who think I’m selfish for refusing.”

“They say I might have had the date first but I could accommodate since my sister is always left out by me and my cousins.”

“I was accused of being a bully for saying I would never do a double wedding with her the way I did.”

“They said it was so nasty.”

“So AITA?”

Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole. 

“NTA. Block every single one of the flying monkeys.”

“And congratulations, you saved money on the guest list.”  ~ Prudent_Border5060

“Lol, agree with this! It’s your wedding.”

“Those people are douches to force you to do a double wedding! NTA.”  ~ Limp_Shallot8984

“She picked it because she expected everyone in the family to pick her wedding over OPs.”

“It was all a ploy to steal all of the attention and show OP how little she means to the family.”

“A seriously mean-girl move.”

“Instead, all of the cousins know exactly what a snake she is and she’s scrambling for a way to still be the center of attention somehow.” ~ Vox_Mortem

“A double wedding would never work if one sister wanted to butt into another sister’s wedding solo.”

“We basically did it because we wanted to get married around the same time and figured we could save our parents some money by combining the celebration.”

“It worked out well as there were things that were important to my sister (flowers) that she planned and I wanted the menu a certain way.”

“A double wedding would never work if one sister wanted to butt into another sister’s wedding!”  ~ Legitimate-Potato998

“Yeah the fact that the monkeys took more issue with OP refusing a double wedding than their sister choosing the same day really shows how bad things were for OP growing up.”

“Cut out the lot of them. NTA.”

“OP, you say your sister used to brag about her plans to screw you over.”

“What if you called her to confront her about it, and recorded the call so when she brags about her plan, you at least have evidence.”

“Then post it on Facebook or something.”

“Maybe it won’t make a difference to your clearly brainwashed family, but at least more people will know her true colors.”

“Congrats on your wedding by the way!” ~ Choice_Bid_7941

“NTA. She’s the golden child, I’m guessing?”

“Promptly uninvite bully sister, enabler parents, and the flying monkeys from your wedding.” ~ thatshygal717

“I am 100% sure the picking of the same date as OP was deliberate.”

“Sister, I have no doubt, thought that everyone would skip OP’s wedding to come to her event.”

“She learned the hard way that wasn’t going to happen.”

“And is now scrabbling to save face by pushing the idea of a double wedding since her personality is so awful it’s the only way she will have any guests.”

“None of this is OP’s problem to deal with. NTA.” ~ CriticalSimple3122

“I think you should prepare yourself if they try crashing your wedding.”

“The aunts and uncles can go f**k themselves.”

“They’re calling you selfish?”

“What about the other times your sister stole attention from their kids (I’m assuming your aunts and uncles are the parents of your cousins)?”

“Or any other event that wasn’t about her?”

“My advice, prepare to go no contact with anyone that supports your sister.”

“I know I sound demanding, but I think this is the only solution to your end on the drama.”

“If they don’t already know, don’t tell them where the wedding will be or tell them you changed venues so they don’t crash the actual venue.”  ~ Cguy203

“NTA. What kind of complete AH books their wedding the same day as their sister then demands a double wedding??”

“Go no contact with all the ones having a go. Tell them to go f*ck themselves and their enabling behavior.”

“Your sister is completely the AH, and they all are for supporting her.”  ~ Opposite-Guide-9925

“NTA. This is a hill to die on.”

“She’s clearly chosen this date because you chose it and can’t handle you getting the attention.”

“Your wedding is your day, not just another day your sister can steal from you because you can bet your life she’ll make sure it’s all about her.”

“Whilst this could be hard, this is probably a good way of identifying others you may want to go low contact with.”

“Anyone that chooses her wedding over yours is probably people you don’t want there anyway.”  ~ thegodcomplex17

“I would go with this but also throw it back in their faces how stupid they are being.”

“You are being selfish.”

“Wanting the wedding day that I paid for to be about my relationship? Shocking.”

“So you are cool that when (their spouse dies) I choose to through a celebration of life for (long dead relative most people didn’t like or care about) at their graveside?”

“It would be selfish of you to say no after all.”

“Why is not sharing a wedding with her a problem.”

“It wasn’t like she was invited as a guest.”

“Are you RSVPing no as well now?”

“Have fun attending a wedding they are too cheap to pay for, so they try to steal mine.”

“You are so RUDE.”

“Yes, I can see how normal and healthy boundaries look rude to such a dysfunctional family dynamic.”

“Thank God I am dragging myself out of it.”

“I wish you luck in doing the same. Namaste.”  ~ Mueryk

“NTA… and it is weird your sister would pick the same day as you after you.”

“Your parents then encourage her to do a double wedding.”

“That’s weird and a little pick-me energy.”

“My sister is just like this, and I have yet to speak to her in years.”  ~ DangerouslyDifferent

“NTA. Looks like the bullying hasn’t ended.”

“A bride is only supposed to share attention on their special day with one other, and that person isn’t their sibling.”

“Sounds like your sister was looking for a free wedding in addition to mutual family attention.”

“I doubt your fiancee’s family will want to do a joint wedding with your future brother-in-law’s family.”  ~ RebeccaMCullen

“NTA – What a chaotic move on your sister’s part!”

“Have your wedding when you want, and if anyone doesn’t come, it’s their loss.”  ~ jrm1102

“NTA! And to be honest – if you want to stay in contact with your parents and have them at your wedding.”

“I’d invite them to go to therapy with you to discuss family dynamics and favoritism because something is very, very wrong here.”  ~ katyunana

“NTA. Your sister can’t have her own wedding, because?”

“There are 365 days in a year, and she choose the one you had from 2018.”

“This is extreme narcissism.”

“Listen, have your wedding and make sure you have security.”

“Because I have a sneaky feeling your sister and parents will show up on your wedding day, expecting her to get married, too.”

“Also, do you have a wedding planner?”  ~ Purple_Routine1297

“NTA. Your sister is trotting out the same old tricks she used as a child. She appears to be a one-trick pony.”

“There is a reason she chose her wedding date; it is because it was the date you had already announced for your wedding.”

“She delights in making people choose her over you, keep in mind that you probably don’t want those same people in your life.”  ~ solitarybydesign

Well OP, Reddit is with you.

You get to have your wedding, your way.

Hopefully, your family will understand that.

Enjoy your big day and congratulations!