Many people believe that all bullying is a form of assault.
Of course, all blatant assault is assault.
But there are still some people who don't take bullying very seriously.
So many parents believe that
their children could never be capable of such things.
And so many schools are still giving lackadaisical responses.
That's why many parents feel they need to step up their reactions to the issue.
Redditor Fantastic-Swing4853 wanted to discuss his experience and get some feedback, so naturally he came to the
“Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subreddit.
He asked:"AITA for threatening to sue both the school and the family of my daughter’s bully?"
The Original Poster (OP) explained:"I 30 M[ale] and my Husband 33 M have an 11-year-old daughter who’s been going through severe bullying at school." "It just keeps getting worse." "It started off with just name-calling but has gotten worse over the past few weeks." "Context: She’s adopted, which is something we’ve always been open about and celebrated as part of her story." "Recently, some kids found out about her adoption and started saying horrible things – telling her stuff like her birth mother didn’t want her." "They tell her that she’s unwanted and tell her she is a reject." "Which is not the case." "Her mother loved her very much to the point she literally gave her life so she could be here." "If this wasn't bad enough." "A few days ago, she came home in tears with her hair butchered." "They’d cut off 2 inches of her ponytail while in class, all while taunting her with names and laughing at her reaction." "They will follow her through the halls to make fun of her on a regular basis now." "Both my husband and I have been in touch with the school about the bullying more times than I can count." "I emailed, called, even showed up in person to speak with teachers and the principal, but all I got were empty promises that they’d 'look into it.'” "Nothing changed, and my daughter’s mental health has taken a hit." "She’s anxious, struggling to sleep, and now begs us not to send her to school." "Finally, out of frustration and feeling like no one was taking this seriously, we reached out to a lawyer to explore legal action against both the school and the bully’s family." "Only when the school and her parents learned we were considering legal action did they start to act." "Suddenly, the school calls me to say they’re moving the bully out of my daughter’s class and claim they 'had a talk' with her." "The girl’s parents reached out too, saying they’d 'talk to their daughter' and promised it would stop." "But honestly, I don’t believe them." "It feels like they're all saying this just to get me to back off and avoid the legal consequences." "I worry that once the dust settles, things will go right back to how they were, and my daughter will still be dealing with this." "My family thinks I should give the school and parents a chance now that they’re finally taking action, but I feel like it’s all for show."The OP was left to wonder:"So, AITA for moving forward with legal action even though the school and the bully’s parents now claim they’re handling it?"
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:- NTA - Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole."NTA... one of my a**hole classmates to me and everyone else I was adopted when I was in 6th grade. My parents were waiting to tell us when we were both old enough to understand." "My brother wasn’t quite old enough yet." "For me, it was a light bulb moment: that’s why there’s no picture of mom pregnant." "For a group of kids at school, it was a reason to bully me." "I heard the same things your daughter did, and it didn’t bother me." "It was how relentless it was." "I developed anxiety and stomach issues due to the bullying." "One day, a good portion of everyone in the cafeteria laughed at me because of what one of the male bullies said." "I didn’t want to go to school. I got sick after lunch nearly every day and had to go home." "I had all kinds of doctor's appointments to try to find out what was wrong with me medically that was causing the stomach issues." "The school even tried to say my problem was I was upset about being adopted and was making myself sick." "No amount of anything my parents did helped." "It only got better after the school year ended, and we were all in different classes." ~ Delicious-Mix-9180
"One of my classmates lost her mother when we were kids." "To my knowledge, no one ever made a bad comment about it." "How pathetic and disgusting should someone be to mock another person over the loss of a beloved, especially a child about the parents!" "NTA, OP should absolutely move legally against both the school and the family." ~ Justanothersaul
"Yeah even if the issue is solved for OP’s kid the lax reaction from the school is ridiculous." "Definitely move forward with legal action if you're able to." "It doesn't have to be about the money, you could reinvest any awarded cash into a specific non-bullying initiative within schools." "But the bottom line is your child has already been affected and that can't be fixed, maybe OP is better than me but I'd do it just for revenge." ~ Wakenbacon05
"Absolutely. They knew what was happening to your child OP, and they did nothing." "That's negligence to the point of actual malice." "Sue the ever-loving f**k out of everyone involved. NTA." ~ ninja-gecko
"EXACTLY THIS!!" "Kudos for raising a strong and levelheaded child." "As parents, I don’t think we ever get it “100% right,” but it definitely sounds to me like you’re in the upper 10 percentile." "OP. You are ABSOLUTELY NTA!!""As a victim of bullying basically throughout my entire academic career because of my family’s socioeconomic status, I can also (like many others) attest to the lasting impact of bullying, especially during a child’s formative years.""The school and the parents of this bully made their respective beds by FAILING YOUR CHILD the protection she needed and how they have to lie in those respective beds." "As for your daughter, let her know each day how beautiful she is to you and your spouse and that she is dearly loved." "This will go a long way in her recovery." "Best of luck and God bless you and your family." ~ Expensive-Drive-341
"THIS WAS PHYSICAL ASSAULT!!!" ~ SweetGoonerUSA
"I was shocked to find your comment so far down the list because cutting OP’s daughter’s hair is 100% assault and should have been dealt with strongly." "If this happened to one of my nieces (who happened to be adopted) my sister would have called the police and filed a police report." "I cannot believe the school system did Nothing!!" "OP, you are NTA!" "As a matter of fact, you are being too lenient." "It’s time to pursue legal action." "It may be possible for you to get the county board of education to pay for private school, given that they are unable to provide a safe learning environment for your daughter." "Just my two cents." "I also wonder if the Principal would have acted the same way if you were a heterosexual couple with a biological child." "OP hasn’t mentioned anything regarding this, but I can’t help but wonder if it may be a mitigating factor." ~ delightedlysad
"Former Classmate (Grade A asshole) bullied my best friend (We must've been ~14-15 at the time) about her father being dead." "Children can be horrible!" "OP NTA! Please protect your Kid!" "Mobbing leaves scars - getting no help feels even worse." "I'm glad you did something to help her." ~ Elin_Ylvi
"OP's child was physically assaulted by the bullying when her hair was cut." "So Hell Yeah OP should still pursue legal action!!!" "His child is still suffering mentally and probably physically, stomach aches, headaches, stuff like that." "That just doesn't go away overnight cuz the school and parents say they're going to talk to said bully now." "Just keep in mind that when you're dealing with this kind of situation, things could get worse for your daughter.""Her bully is already extreme, but if she gets punished, she might want to take that out on your daughter, so be absolutely sure of your next step and protect your daughter 1st.""Maybe a new school, it might be good for your daughter anyway." ~ East_Bee_7276
"Teacher here. DO. NOT. BACK. DOWN." "I can promise you that this family is a bunch of bullies (at their jobs, with people in general), and they've been getting away with it forever." "This is a lesson their child MUST learn now.""I can also promise you that if your child defended herself in any way that caused the bully shame or harm, your child would have been punished severally by the school, and the bully's parents would not back down.""NTA - is changing schools an option?" ~ TeacherWithOpinions
"BIG agree. I was bullied to the point of violence in first grade." "The boy hit me, and I punched back." "But he was the son of a teacher, so I was hauled to the office and told I'd be suspended after my parents were called." "They showed up and told the principal that I was always taught never to start a fight, but I would damn well finish it." "I was taught to defend myself. The school backed off and punished the bully (barely a slap) but I was also transferred to another class." "NTA. OP, follow through with the lawsuit." "They f**ked around; now they can find out." ~ pariah164
"They ASSAULTED your daughter." "The school and the bully’s parents had ample opportunity to deal with this issue BEFORE YOUR DAUGHTER WAS ASSAULTED!!" "Their pitiful attempts to rectify their sheer lack of discipline is, quite frankly, too little, too late." "Your poor daughter has suffered, not only at the hands of her bully but her teachers, who should not be allowing bullying of any form in their school." "They did nothing until legal action was taken against them, along with the bully." "When your child is at school, supposedly under the care and protection of the teachers, you expect them to do their job, and not ignore escalating bullying, because it’s too much trouble." "Hold them all accountable." "Give your daughter a great big hug." ~ Ratchet_gurl24
"NTA. Keep advocating for your child." "And follow through with the lawyer." "School administrators can be awful about this." "If it’s a public school, go to the school board meetings and speak during public comment so it’s on record." "Name the teachers and administrators involved. If there’s any social media presence, state it there, too." "If you have a community newspaper, email a reporter." "I’ve found that when they ignore one case of bullying, it’s usually not an isolated incident." "Be in their face." "Squeaky wheel gets the grease." ~ National_Pension_110
"NTA. As a lawyer, I say sue, sue, sue." "Get a settlement agreement that contains a plan of action to address bullying in the future." "Sue them all." "I would also file a police report." "Cutting her hair was assault." "Big fat F to all of them." "Protect your child." ~ LouisV25
"NTA. Cutting your daughter's hair was assault." "You should contact the police and press charges." "Then contact a lawyer about using the school and the parents." ~ Bethsmom05
"NTA. I’m pretty sure cutting hair against your will is assault/battery." "File a police report as well as the lawsuit." "Also, look up your district’s anti-bullying policies- if it’s a public school, they very likely have them." "And it’s very, very likely that they didn’t follow their own rules." ~ farmguy372
"Massive NTA. I had a kid randomly cut my hair in 1st or 2nd grade." "Not even a bullying situation, more just kids f**king around." "That isolated situation got more of a reaction than this." "I would be losing my absolute sh*t on the school and these parents." "I'd like to think that now that the bully is out of your daughter's classroom, it would be different, but rarely does it work out like that." ~ Aggravating-Item9162
"NTA... you have to follow through now, as they've shown they're only willing to take action when the law (and money) is involved." "You've found what works, so keep at it." ~ KBD_in_PDX
Reddit is firmly behind you, OP.
What happened to your daughter is assault.
She doesn't deserve this kind of treatment.
Actions have consequences. The school and the bully are about to find that out.
Good luck to you and your family.
