Whenever we have a guest in our home, we tend to tell them to make themselves at home.
As we want them to feel welcome and cared for.
Of course, some people take that offer a bit too much to heart, helping themselves to literally anything.
Even things that people might not share with members of their own household.
The girlfriend of Redditor MajesticDevice8908's brother was becoming a frequent guest in their home.
Even going so far as to borrow property of the original poster (OP) without being granted permission.
When the OP expressed her discomfort in this situation to her brother, she was met with anything but sympathy.
Wondering if she was out of line, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**Hole" (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
"AITA for saying it's inappropriate that my brother's girlfriend keeps wearing my clothes?"
The OP explained why the frequent visits of her brother's girlfriend had slowly become a point of contention with her:
"I (17 F[emale]) live at home with my mom and brother (23 M[ale])."
'His girlfriend (23 F) has started staying over more often, like multiple nights a week."
"I'm not judging that part too much. She's great, but what's really bothering me is that she keeps wearing my clothes."
"The first few times it was with permission and I'd agreed and lent her my stuff but now I'll just wake up and see her walking around the kitchen wearing one of my shirts like it's normal."
"I never said she could freely take anything."
"When I brought it up to my brother, he said it'd be a hassle to make her pack more stuff, that it's just a nice way to make her feel more welcomed and at home, and that it'd be even more inappropriate for her to wear his clothes around the house."
"Okay?"
"How is that my problem?"
"I'm not her closet."
"Idk why she doesn't just wear my mom's too."
"I told him it made me uncomfortable, especially because there's something intimate about her wearing my stuff, and it reminds me that she's sleeping in his bed, and I don't want to picture that."
"Honestly, it just feels kinda gross."
"Our mom is staying out of it, she didn't disagree with me, but idk if she sees it the same way I do or just doesn't care."
'I have a lock on my door, but not all of my clothes are in my closet- mine and everyone else's overflow clothes are all folded in the laundry room, which is accessible to anyone."
"I just hate feeling like I'm gonna be starting drama bc nobody else in the house sees my issue."
"I know I may seem passive, but I let it slip by a bit longer bc he's told me she has a delicate situation back at home, whatever that means."
"He also said it's like how sisters always borrow each other's clothes and I should try to be more understanding and like I don't wanna be an a**hole bc I don't have an issue w her outside of this but she is NOT my sister."
'She is HIS girlfriend and idc if it's just two shirts borrowed in a week, I still feel like it's too much."
"AITA?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You're The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community stood firmly behind the OP, agreeing she was not the a**hole for not wanting her brother's girlfriend to wear her clothes.
Everyone agrees that the OP's brother's girlfriend was getting far too comfortable in her house, with many urging the OP to confront her directly, not just through her brother:
"If it were me I'd tell him that it's super f*cked up that he's banging someone dressed in his sister's clothes."
"But I'm a petty, angry woman, so grain of salt."
"NTA, get locks."- icecreampenis
"NTA."
"You're going to have to bypass your brother and go straight to the girlfriend."
"Tell her that you don't appreciate her taking your clothes without asking."
"How is she even accessing your clothes?"
"Maybe make a comment when you're all together having a meal or something, don't you find it weird kissing your girlfriend when she's dressed like me?'"
"Would give me the ick, but you know, you be you" and pull a face."- FeedsBlackBats
"NTA."
"What in the heck."
"No one's entitled to your clothes, and the excuses are so weak."
"Anywhere gf goes, she needs to make sure she has enough clothes."- whatevsjustreading
"NTA."
"Put on your big girl panties and tell her to stop raiding your closet and return every item of clothing of yours NOW." - u2125mike2124
"NTA."
"Get a lock for your door."- NeeliSilverleaf
"NTA, lowkey weird."
"How does this just happen? Does she just come in and take it?"- No_Mouse_4464
"NTA."
"I accidentally wore my boyfriend's dad's hoodie because they worked at the same place and it was the same exact hoodie.'"
"Once I realized, after a while, it was smaller, I was horrified."
"You are right, it is intimate and not okay unless there is permission."- Charming-Bike-427
"NTA."
"Your mother should be supporting you and your obviously healthy boundaries."
"She may be TAH."- kiltedswine
"NTA."
"She can bring and wear her OWN clothes."
"It's not that hard ffs."- Fun-Yellow-6576
"NTA."
"She should absolutely be asking before she takes anything."
"Tell your brother they're gonna have to deal with the hassle of her packing more stuff and tell your mom you want a lock for your stuff."- Telly94
"NTA."
"Put on your big girl panties and tell her it feels very creepy that your brother gets off on his girlfriend wearing his little sister's clothes."- EarlyElderberry721z
"NTA."
"Your Clothes."
"Tactfully explain her visits aren't spontaneous, you prefer she plan accordingly."- Guyin63376
"NTA."
'If she's over that much, he should give her a drawer or closet space in his room."
'She can keep 4-5 outfits or whatever and he can wash them with his own laundry so she'll always have something."- MomentJ
"NTA, your mother needs to step up and stop this now."
"It is her job to help her children."
"By doing nothing, she is on the girlfriend's side."- hedwigflysagain
"NTA."
"Tell her very directly that she does NOT have permission to take your stuff."
"If she's staying over regularly, she can just keep some clothes and toiletries in your brother's room."- JohnRedcornMassage
"NTA."
"If your brother thinks it will make her feel more welcomed, he can have her wear his stuff, or she can leave some of her own clothes in his room."- ObfusKate_
"NTA."
"If she is taking your property without permission, she is the a-hole, and your brother acting like it's no big deal makes him an a-hole too."
"Can you get a lock for your room?"
"That would be my suggestion."- ValNotThatVal
"NTA."
'I'm betting your brother has told his gf she can wear whatever clothing of yours that she wants."
'Tell her to her face to stop taking your clothes without your permission."
'Your mom needs to step in as well and speak to your brother."
"If his gf wants to stay over so often, she needs to start leaving some of her things at your house, not rely on your clothing."
"That's inappropriate for her to have free rein over your things without your permission."- Mindless-Client3366
"NTA."
'Lock your room with a key, or your wardrobe with a locket."
"But also tell brothers' gf directly that you don't want her to wear your stuff or that she has to ask for every garment before taking it."
"I bet he didnt even tell her you talked to him about it."
"Also at first I thought it's ok that your mother is keeping out of the conflict, but considering your age she needs to step up!"- HelenaNehalenia
"Here's how you all can solve this problem: she should just keep a little bit of her clothes at your house."
"NTA."- laffy4444
"NTA, wtf?"
"Is your brother or his GF going to give you money if she ruins a garment?"
'Your closet isn't a f*cking Rent-A-Center, she doesn't just get to go through your things."
"Just because you let her borrow something a few times doesn't give her free rein over your wardrobe."
"And I, too, would kind of be grossed out at the idea of her sleeping in your clothes in your bro's bed, ngl."
"So yea, you need to put your foot down about this."- LSama
If the girlfriend of the OP's brother does have a sad or unhealthy home life, it's nice that the OP's family so willingly offers her refuge.
That still doesn't quite excuse her from borrowing the OP's clothes without permission.
Especially if she's not cleaning them herself...
