There are two types of people in the world: those who love their animal friends and those who just don’t understand that love.
Those two types of people generally don’t do that well in a relationship setting, agreed the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
Redditor Astonished_Hound was excited to move in with his girlfriend until he discovered that she adamantly did not like his cat who he’d had longer than the relationship.
But when his girlfriend lashed out, the Original Poster (OP) realized just how much she hated his cat.
He asked the sub:
“AITA for kicking my girlfriend out?”
The OP’s girlfriend recently moved in.
“So I have a cat named Raven who’s three years old.”
“My girlfriend of two years moved in with me a few weeks ago and it was clear she didn’t like my cat.”
But then it became clear just how much she didn’t like Raven.
“I didn’t think it was really a big deal until one day I got home and he was just gone. He’s not an outdoor cat and he never goes outside.”
“He was gone for hours, and I was worried sick until my buddy came to my house and returned him, saying he found him two blocks from my house.”
“I asked my girlfriend how my cat, who has never tried to go out before ended up that far from my house and she admitted to kicking him out. She’d deliberately picked him up, carried him outside, and left him alone to wander off.”
That was an immediate dealbreaker for the OP.
“I was furious, saying she had no right to kick him out, and told her that since she thought she had the power to kick my cat out, I wanted her out of my house by the end of the month.”
“She cried that she had nowhere to go and that she would have to live on the streets.”
“I said I didn’t care and told her to leave by the end of the month.”
“My friends think I’m being too harsh, but my cat could have died because of her, and I don’t want her trying anything else. I don’t think we’re suited to be together now.”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some thought the OP had done exactly the right thing by his cat.
“NTA for kicking her out. How people treat animals is a HUGE sign of their character. Her abuse and mistreatment of the poor kitty says more about her than any ‘loving’ gesture she does to you.”
“Keep her away from the kitty. You dodged a bullet.”
“‘I have nowhere to go.’ Well, neither does the cat, and unlike the cat, she can get a job and apartment.” – winterberrynight
“You’re NTA. This is not a person you want in your life, trust me. If someone did that to me, they wouldn’t have 30 days… they’d have an hour to pack their s**t and get the f**k out of my life.”
“Truly, the nerve. I wouldn’t trust her alone in the house ever again with the cat. Pets are our family!” – Saraqael_Rising
“NTA. She doesn’t respect you, and has no empathy or compassion. The way people treat animals and service staff tells you everything you need to know about them. She’s lucky you gave her a month… I’d have told her to get out now.” – scarletfemme1968
“NTA, h**l no! Where did she live before you? She can go back there before she is considered a tenant before you can legally evict her. That’s if you are in the states. Tell her to get out tonight.”
“I would not trust her with the cat. That was a cruel thing to do. You are lucky you got the cat back. F**k her crying bulls**t. Throw her out tonight.” – mcmurrml
“NTA. The girlfriend is an AH and moved in knowing about your pet. She should have said something before moving in but probably knew you wouldn’t part with Raven. Thank heavens your friend found her.”
“She can move back to wherever she moved from.” – Careless-Image-885
“She moved in while not liking cats, because she thought she could always just get away with getting rid of the cat unilaterally. She’s acting like this is an ‘ask forgiveness, not permission’ situation when it’s actually a ‘holy s**t, get the f**k out of my life, you unempathetic monster’ situation.”
“Stand your ground, OP. She is self-centered to the point of not caring if a living creature lives or dies or suffers. Your cat is worth way more than a relationship with someone like that. Consider dumping the friend too.”
“I mean dump the friends telling OP he’s being an AH for kicking her out, not necessarily the friend that rescued the cat.” – TheSleepingVoid
“You mean more like kick her a** out IMMEDIATELY and change the locks, and block her heartless a** on everything. Cameras wouldn’t be a bad idea, either.” – NightOwlsUnite
Others urged the OP to be careful with Raven until the girlfriend moved out.
“NTA. Apart from the situation with the cat itself, which is bad enough, this shows a lack of respect for other people and not just their property, but things that are dear to them.”
“She knew how much that cat meant to you, and yet she was willing to allow it to get lost or killed for her own convenience because she didn’t like it.”
“This shows a lack of concern for other people, a lack of caring about their feelings, and that isn’t someone I would want to be with.”
“So I agree to have her leave. I would not want to continue to live with someone like that, or even date them. She is showing her true side, and it’s better to know now than after marriage.”
“My only concern is what will happen between now and when she moves out. Will your cat be safe? Or will she do something out of anger and spite toward the cat? I would take steps to ensure the cat’s safety.”
“And honestly, if it was me, and if you could afford it, I would have her leave immediately, and maybe put her up in a motel for a week or two. I wouldn’t want her around the cat anymore, out of fear for the cat’s safety.” – nrgins
“NTA at all whatsoever. Is there somewhere your cat can stay until your ex-girlfriend gets out of your house though? I’m worried she might try to hurt your cat or get rid of him for good.” – TATastyFood
“‘The cat was there first’ sounds so simple that it makes the girlfriend seem crazy/entitled/chronically selfish. Which, she most likely is some combination of those.”
“She kicked an innocent, domesticated house cat outside, didn’t tell OP, and then tried to avoid the situation until OP’s friend, fortunately, found said feline friendo, and returned it.”
“The girlfriend had zero compunction. It would make me worry for the welfare of the cat in the future if said human remained in the residence.” – _CaesarAugustus_
“OP is NTA and to be honest, if I was in OP’s position, she’d be kicking rocks on the SPOT! This is a huge lack of empathy! No concern for the cat, no concern for her boyfriend’s feelings. I don’t understand how you hurt people and animals this way!”
“I had a friend once who found his front gate open and his dog missing. He walked the neighborhood for three hours looking for his dog.”
“I decided to check the websites of some shelters in his area and found a picture of a dog that resembled his. I called and through a few quick questions and additional photos, we knew it was him.”
“The person at the shelter told me someone had just pulled up a van and just dropped the dog in the front yard of the shelter. She provided me with a description of the van. I gave my friend the details and he was extremely quiet on the phone for a minute. Then just said, ‘That’s my mother’s van.'”
“He was devastated and cried for about 45 minutes because he decided it would be best to leave the dog there and have him adopted by a loving family rather than risk getting him back and having his mother do something potentially worse to his dog.”
“He had him for a few years but his mother got tired of having a dog in the house and just dumped him at a shelter while my friend was at work. When he confronted his mother about it, she just shrugged. To this day, I still feel so much hurt and anger for my friend.” – MortarChelle
“KEEP HER AWAY FROM YOUR CAT!”
“She’s going to hurt him, I guarantee it.”
“Let him stay with someone until she’s gone.”
“NTA. This chick is psycho!” – MajorTomsHelmet
“With Raven being let out right before Halloween, lots of people trap and hoard black cats to do ritualistic sacrifices around Halloween.”
“Also, was she just going to stay quiet and watch you worry and mourn over your missing cat? This is unhinged and manipulative and disgusting.”
“People that never bonded with their pets just don’t get it.”
“You will never wake up one day and find out your pet does not love you anymore or was cheating on you. Significant others on the other hand…”
“NTA and the ‘friends’ that say you are exaggerating? Ditch them too.” – ChocolateChipShame
“She’ll hurt the cat just out of spite, because in her f**ked up head, it’s the cat’s fault that she’s being kicked out. She’s probably thinking if the cat ‘disappears,’ you’ll let her stay.”
“Your cat could have been hit by a car, mauled by a dog, or lost forever. What she did is unforgivable.”
“If there’s any way you can get her out of your house immediately, even if it means renting her a cheap motel room for a couple of weeks, do that. By no means leave her alone with your cat. She hated the cat before, but she’s got a genuine grudge now.” – redheadjd
After receiving feedback, the OP shared a brief update.
“I sent him to live with my cousin until all of this is settled, so he’s safe.”
The subReddit was grateful to see that the OP had prioritized his cat’s safety, as well as his love for his cat, over his girlfriend who had just moved in. They’ll surely be all the happier to see the OP’s update since he was keeping his cat safe until the girlfriend was fully out of the picture.