Though weddings are meant to be happy occasions, sometimes there's some seriously memorable drama, too.
Just because two people are getting married doesn't mean everyone associated with them will suddenly like each other, shrugged the "Am I the A**hole?" (AITA) subReddit.
Redditor meatdefeater88 was not a fan at all of his future wife's best friend and the Maid of Honor for their wedding, and he got the feeling that the feeling was mutual.
But when it became more obvious at their engagement party, the Original Poster (OP) might have caused more drama by speaking up about it.
He asked the sub:
"AITA for threatening to kick my wife's Maid of Honor out of our wedding?"
The OP was not impressed with one of his fiancée's friends.
"My fiancée and I are getting married next year. I very recently proposed and we decided to get planning early."
"My fiancé had this friend, Alice. I don't like to use this word, but Alice is a huge b***h. She hates me for no reason. Like literally no reason."
"When I first met her and my fiancée's other girlfriends, she was very cold to me and was very clearly disapproving of me and multiple times asked my now-fiancée why the h**l she's with me."
"I think it's partially because my presence caused a big change in my fiancée's life. She used to be a bit more loose with her morals, partied a lot, drank more, and hooked up a lot, and these are all things that Alice still does."
"I also think part of her is jealous and angry that my fiancée found herself a good man."
The OP decided to confront Alice at his engagement party.
"So at our engagement party, Alice was not happy at all. She would glare at me across the room, wouldn't have fun, and was trying to just bring the mood down."
"Eventually, my fiancée and I spoke to her."
"My fiancée was then pulled away by another girl. I decided then was a good time to settle things."
"I told her that my fiancée chose me, not her. I said she needs to get over her silly little grudge towards me. I reminded her that it was my wedding and that I could have her out of it so fast, and I knew my fiancée would let me as, once again, she chose me over her."
"Alice was visibly p**sed and upset. I moved on but the damage was done."
This led to a big argument.
"Alice told my fiancée what I said, and she told me I was being a huge d**k and needed to apologize."
"I said that I would after Alice did, but she refuses."
"I was accused of being passive-aggressive and rude."
"My fiancée is convinced I was the asshole and Alice is innocent."
"AITA?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You're the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some Redditors were very put-off by the OP's attitude.
"This guy says things like 'good man' and 'loose with her morals,' and then takes it upon himself to tell his fiancée's BFF that she chose him over her."
"Maybe there is more to the story, but as written OP is YTA." - Bai_Cha
"Look at how the OP describes his fiance, 'She used to be a bit more loose with her morals, partied a lot, drank more, hooked up a lot…' Can you imagine the attitude that just comes through in real life? No wonder Alice hates him." - Effective-Penalty
"He sounds insufferable. She probably hates him because she sees how her friend has lost her spark." - Chocolatefix
"I had the displeasure of working with a guy who talked a lot and one of the many, many stories he told involved an exes very intelligent lawyer mother hating him 'for no reason.'"
"No need to bore anyone with the details but even as a colleague it only took a week for the reasons to be abundantly clear, god only knows what it would be like to date such a 'nice guy.'" - Reason_unreasonably
"I think my eyes rolled into the back of my head when I read, 'part of her is jealous and angry my fiancé found herself a good man.'"
"Yeah, Alice doesn't like you not because she is jealous of your relationship, it is because you're an AH."
"Look how you talked about her and your fiancé having 'loose morals,' and how you swooped in and 'saved her from her life of depravity and made a good woman out of your fiancé and her b***h friend is jealous of me for doing so.'"
"Now you didn't type out that second part, OP, but that is exactly how your post read. Just because you spun it a certain way doesn't mean we didn't pick up on it. You looked down on both of them and you still look down on Alice and she seems to have picked up on that."
"OP is exactly the quintessential self-proclaimed 'nice guy' us ladies know all too well."
"The nice guy who thinks so highly of himself that he is flabbergasted when his superiority complex and condescending attitude rubs people the wrong way. The nice guy who looks down on women who don't fit his standards even when he is in a relationship with someone else. The nice guy who thinks niceness is a transaction."
"The nice guy who is blunt with his sexist comments but plays it off as giving 'friendly advice.' The nice guy who has to control everything and everyone around him. The nice guy who usually has a hero's complex because he is obsessed with looking good to others but also wants to cover up for the fact he sucks."
"And finally, the nice guy who the second a woman isn't opening her arms to him, calls her a b***h."
"Yeah, we know about nice guys like OP. Huge ick. I would also be curious as well to know what the ages of everyone is since OP conveniently left that out."
"YTA." - stop_spam_calls
Others said the future wife had given the OP the benefit of the doubt.
"YTA. I don't think you're passive-aggressive. You're simply aggressive." - Katana1369
"So, you weren't being passive-aggressive and rude. You were being aggressive and rude."
"Your fiancé's friends don't have to like you. If your going to be condescending to them (jealous and angry fiancé has found herself a good man?) they probably won't."
"Do you think their view may be that your fiancé is compromising who she is to assuage your insecurities? You know, partying and drinking, because you're worried about her loose morals…"
"Beware, if Alice is MOH, it means your fiancé still values what Alice thinks, so you can't just dismiss her from your life. There are parts of your fiancé that you're not supporting and getting to know."
"YTA in this interaction. Take it as an opportunity to be a better partner to your fiancé." - Ok_Two_8173
"Oh good, I was wondering if it was just my a**hole meter that was running amok."
"Also, 'my wedding'? Guess he doesn't count his fiancee as an individual person. Hope fiancee wakes up and realizes she can do so much better." - ElectricBlueFerret
"'She chose me' made me think that OP is only competing against Alice in their own head. Probably sees every comment Alice makes as a direct attack."
"'Do you guys want to go to the movies?'"
"'How dare she think she knows what movies my fiancée likes better than I do!'" - evilshenanigans
"This is gross."
"He also confronted Alice because he didn't like the look on her face."
"Going with YTA. The whole vibe is off with this guy."
"'Loose morals.' Kinda funny but then again it's so d**n contemptuous of his fiancee. Ugh." - Afraid_Sense5363
"When my best friend was with her (now ex) husband, I stuck around even tho he hated me and only thinly disguised it."
"I knew he was horrible and emotionally abusive, but if I came out all guns blazing, he'd have been able to spin it into 'she's jealous of us' and 'she doesn't know what a healthy marriage is like,' blah blah blah."
"So I was nice, if not friendly, because I knew she'd need me, and it would be easier for her to reach out with people already in place and not have to reconnect with people he'd driven away."
"And I was right, I was the first person she called when she left him. I can imagine Alice might be thinking along the same lines." - literate_giraffe
"To be clear, the changes he's describing are not inherently suspect. Obviously, if someone enters a monogamous relationship they will (hopefully) stop hooking with others. And while some people definitely still drink and party while in a relationship, others would rather spend time with their SO, or go out to dinner/other non-party events."
"If he'd described these changes in more neutral terms, I'd be willing to believe this was a case of friends growing apart and struggling with being at different stages in their life."
"But 'loose morals'? 'Found herself a good man'? Something tells me OP would NOT be open to it if his significant other wanted to go to a party with her friends, which is s**tty."
"And even if he's not super controlling, there's no question in my mind that her friends know he looks down on them for their lifestyle. No wonder the BFF doesn't like him! It's one thing to not want to party, it's another thing to judge people who do." - LF3000
Though the OP was confident in what he had said to the Maid of Honor at his engagement party, the subReddit had different ideas.
Not only were they left with a bad taste in their mouths over how the OP had written his post, but they were also concerned at how he viewed his future wife and her friends, and what that might promise in her future.
Woman Breaks Up With 'Clingy' Boyfriend For Making Joke About 'Getting With' Her Sister
As much as we might want to date someone, there's no point in trying to gain the attention and affection of someone who does not want to reciprocate.
Dating someone "similar" to fill that void isn't a good look, either, cringed the members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subReddit.
Redditor Flashy-External1666 had been long-distance dating a guy from her friend group for about a month, even though he'd expressed his attraction to her older sister repeatedly before they started dating.
When her sister entered a new relationship, the Original Poster (OP) was hurt and disgusted that her boyfriend insinuated that he could have been trying to "get with" her sister while he was instead busy dating her.
She asked the sub:
The OP was aware that her boyfriend had his eye on someone close to her before dating her.
"I (19 Female) am with M (21 Male), and we've been together for a month. We were friends before this, for a while."
"For some background, when we were in a friend group, he'd always talk about how my sister (23 Female) was super hot and how he wanted her, but she was in a relationship at the time."
When he found out that her sister had been in-between relationships, he had an unsavory reaction.
"Earlier today, I mentioned to him how my sister started seeing this new guy, and I was super proud of her, because she went through a lot with her last relationship."
"His immediate reply was, 'Dang,' one month too late' with a sad emoji, insinuating that he was one month too late to get with her, because we've been together for a month."
You can see the text message exchange here:
The OP was immediately turned off by the idea of dating him.
"After I got upset and he apologized, he immediately sent me a reel that said, 'When she's already upset about me, but I have a second joke in mind.'"
"I feel like he genuinely doesn't care about me."
"He has also gotten weirdly clingy within the month, like red-flag clingy."
"He keeps trying to say how he loves me, wants to marry me, and wants me to go live with him. But he also always brings up my exes and gets super jealous when HE mentions them."
"I don't know what to do. Should I block him??"
"He's mentioned before that I would need to block him on everything if we ever broke up because he'd never leave me alone (we are currently long-distance)."
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
Some were grossed out by the boyfriend's text message and understood why the OP was upset.
"The fact that he wrote all that out and even added a little emoji at the end and still decided to send it, knowing it would be hurtful for you."
"Seems like he’s texted that to see if he could get away with it. Either way, you don’t say something like that to someone you care about…" - Oven_Traditional
"NOR. Ew! That’s so disrespectful coming from someone who should be thrilled to have you."
"I’m team 'dump him.' If he has a brother, maybe ask for his brother’s number as you end it just to see how he likes it." - Entire-Tonight-1463
"NOR. He's not joking about your sister. Based on what he's said about her in the past, it would have been a wise move to NOT date him at all. PERIOD."
'There's a possibility that he's clingy/close to you for the purpose of indirectly keeping an eye on your sister. Release him and let him go, thereby setting yourself free from foolishness." - AtlJazzy2024
"He’s not for you… Break up with him and block him. You deserve a guy who treasures YOU!" - Muted-Lynx-8745
"He might be your boyfriend, but you're not his girlfriend. In his mind, your sister is." - Save-your-spoons
Others urged the OP to block her boyfriend and move on.
"Girl, it's been a month. Let that loser go." - sleepymelfho
"He kept OP as a backup, while circling her sister's orbit. What has happened to transparency and honesty in relationships? All I read now is obnoxious men doing obnoxious things to their partners."
"OP, he's keeping you around to stay close to your sister. You deserve better... NOR." - ColdHandGee
"NOR. You know that he's not joking about wanting your sister. He told on himself before you even got together, talking about how hot she was. Believe him."
"Break up with him and cut him off immediately. I can't believe you ever agreed to date him in the first place. I'd never want to date someone who had the hots for someone else in my immediate circle, whether that was a sibling or a friend." - Lanky_Mud_8148
"You’ve been dating one month, and that’s one month too long."
"He’s not joking about your sister. He fancies her more than you, and you’re the consolation prize. He will pursue her given the chance."
"Time to dump him." - Special_Wind_6708
"NOR. He can't have your sister, so you're just the next best thing. Him being a clingy weirdo that 'will never leave you alone' is the cherry on top."
"You know what to do. Dump him and block him on everything. If anyone from the friend group asks, just tell them what you told us. And you REALLY should warn your sister; you have receipts." - sdoM-bmuD
"Ditch him. Honestly. What are you waiting for?" - forget_me_not_uwu
"NOR at all. Cut this loser out of all channels of your life."
"I wouldn’t block, though. Just ghost so that he can watch you become happier without him as the ultimate revenge because I’m petty like that, and he clearly deserves it."
"ALSO, if he's as creepy and clingy as he sounds, you can have him muted, so he can see your activity, but you won't have to see his... But you'd have all of his messages as receipts if he ever became threatening or stalkerish for police purposes."
"For more context: My mum started dating my dad (when she was 19, too), who initially tried to go for her older sister (two years older) and got rejected."
"After three years of dating, seven years of engagement, and 20 years of marriage where she put up with an incompetent man-child that wouldn’t do anything for himself and expected her to completely cater to him while he berated her and treated her like s**t..."
"...it ended in him cheating on her with a waitress for over a year and denying it until my mum had literal photographic evidence, to which he had the audacity to respond with the reasoning that she was the reason he was 'driven to cheat' (as if that was even remotely close to the truth and the only option to solve his ‘problems’)."
"Save yourself, girl. This man-child can learn to pine over you and your sister from afar as you both skip into the sunset together, moving on with your lives and into better relationships that fulfill you the way you deserve!" - peachycritter
Some cautioned the OP to also cover her tracks after the breakup, as he sounded worse than "clingy" to them.
"The actual scary part isn't even the sister joke; it's, 'he said he'd never leave me alone if we broke up,' only one month in."
"That line gave me chills, and that alone would have me Googling how to block someone on every platform that exists." - babydoodle91
"Ew. These super clingy guys right out the gate are scary. Please watch your step, and erase your tracks." - Immabirb
"He sounds like a stalker... Drop him now, fast. And block him everywhere." - Admirable_Program720
"NOR, yes, you block him, and you keep him out of your life, and you tell mutual friends that if they try to facilitate contact between you two, you will block them as well. He isn't joking." - JustAsICanBeSoCruel
"I watch way too much crime for this!"
"Girl, block him. Also tell your sister to block him, too; he’s obsessed with her." - MrsRoronoaZoro
"NOR. You're underreacting, honestly."
"He wants your sister, but you're close enough. He's obsessed with her and won't give it up even though he has someone he 'wants to marry.'"
"Also, he's not lying. He probably will stalk you online afterwards; please be careful." - Phoenix-Phire-38
"NOR at all. Your post kept adding on more red flags with each additional sentence. I know you’re young, but he’s toxic, and yes, you will need to block him."
"Breaking up with someone you have strong feelings for is really difficult, so when you leave, you should make sure to lean on friends and family and keep yourself distracted with things you like and find engaging." - query_tech_sec
"The s**t with your sister is nothing compared to the love-bombing and jealousy. This guy is trouble, and scary, and you will have done the right thing when you leave him and maintain the distance between the two of you. NOR." - potatomeeple
After receiving feedback, the OP posted an update, but it seemed to be only the beginning.
"Thank you for making me feel less crazy."
"I blocked him on everything and deactivated my Instagram."
"He DM'ed a girl that I had posted ONCE on my Instagram Stories, asking about me."
"I'm not sure if he's going to keep trying to talk to me, but I hope not."
The subReddit's internal alarm bells were ringing while reading the OP's post, and they hoped that she'd leave her boyfriend in every sense of the word. They already lived long-distance, but she needed to cut him off in every other sense.
Not only was it obvious that he wanted someone else and was with the OP to "make up for it," but his "promises" of not leaving her alone if she ever broke up with him were love-bombing and stalker-like, at best.