Sometimes when you go looking for advice, you end up getting some really eye-opening feedback.
One woman, in the midst of asking if she was wrong for being angry about her current situation, was fully informed on gaslighting and the modeling she was doing for her children.
Redditor “thefrikininternet” posted in the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit, wondering if she was wrong for being angry after her husband didn’t defend her to his friend.
The woman asked the thread:
“[Am I the a**hole] for being mad that my husband didn’t defend me?”
The Redditor explained they were out for a family drive.
“Yesterday my husband and out kids went out for a drive. We ended up going to his friend’s house because we were on that side of town.”
But when they stopped by her husband’s friend’s house, the friend said she couldn’t come inside.
“We live in the south and it gets VERY hot, so the obvious clothing choice is a T-shirt and shorts.”
“Well long story short my husband’s friend said I couldn’t come into his house because I didn’t respect myself because I was wearing short shorts (my husband told me this afterwards).”
The husband didn’t react in the way the Redditor was hoping.
“He told me he just laughed it off AND CONTINUED WITH HIS VISIT.”
“I had to sit outside in the car for about an hour with my kids and no air conditioning.”
“[Sidenote:] I’m not saying that this makes anything better but my kids were fine. They had plenty of cold water, things to eat and toys. They were playing and having fun.”
Now the husband doesn’t understand why the Redditor is upset.
“My husband was laughing as he told the story and said it wasn’t a big deal and I’m overreacting.”
Redditors replied to the story anonymously, giving the OP (Original Poster) advice and feedback she probably didn’t expect.
They responded on the following scale:
- NTA: “Not the A**hole”
- YTA: “You’re the A**hole”
- ESH: “Everybody Sucks Here”
- NAH: “No A**holes Here”
Some were appalled not only that the husband didn’t stand up for her, but he left his entire family waiting in a hot car.
“NTA, his friend called you a floozy for wearing summer clothes and y’all spent an HOUR in a car with no air conditioning. Honestly, I’m concerned for your well being that you are even asking this question.” – missmisfit
“NTA. Your husband is though. He should have said ‘Ok, bye! We don’t need to see you if you can’t respect what my wife wears in the heat.'”
“On top of that, leaving you and the kids in a hot car, what would happened if one of you got heat stroke? That would be his fault. He put you in a dangerous situation. That is a red flag.”
“It is clear by his actions he doesn’t respect you and I highly doubt you can talk this out with him, given he was laughing and left you and your kids in a hot car for an hour while he bummed around in his friend’s place.” – Thatvideogamenerd
“NTA. What you wear is your concern, and even if your husband didn’t take offense to his friend accusing his wife of having no self respect (which he definitely should have), he still should have said, ‘Okay, well if she’s stuck in the car, then I’ll go be with her, instead. Adiós.'”
“Sounds like the one not respecting you isn’t you but your husband.” – devanneuen
One Redditor used their husband as an example of how they think the OP’s husband should have acted.
“To give you some more context, I asked my husband what he’d do in this situation. We live in the south, too, so we can really appreciate the context here. This is what he said:”
“‘One, I wouldn’t be friends with someone who would say that.'”