People have different views on what it means to be “on time.” For some, if you’re anything less than fifteen minutes early, you’re late, while others see the start time as merely a suggestion.
But when Redditor danceofthefireys idea of being on time clashes with a friend, she leaves, causing a disagreement. Now she’s asking the “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) subReddit if she was wrong.
The original poster (OP) asked:
“AITA for leaving a lunch date before my friend got there, without notifying them?”
This is what happened:
“I (32F [female]) had a catch up lunch organised with a friend (32M [male]). This friend is always late to everything.”
“Being late is fine, however in this day and age of mobile phones I have strong feelings that one should try to notify a person if they are running significantly late to a date/meeting.”
“I got the cafe at 12pm which was the arranged time. I sat at a table by myself, surrounded by the hustle and bustle of the busy Cafe.”
“At 12.30pm, my friend had not arrived, I’d received no text, so I simply left and went home. At no point did I try to text or ring him to see where he was/how far away he was.”
“The thing is, I knew he hadn’t forgotten our lunch date and that he was just being his usual late self.”
“But I was sick of it.”
“At 12.38, so nearly 40 minutes after our arranged time, I got a message from him saying, ‘I’m here, where are you?’.”
“I replied with, ‘I assumed you weren’t coming so I went home’. I then refused to drive back to the cafe to have the lunch.”
“I know communication works both ways, but AITA?”
“My husband thinks I should’ve just rang him, given that I know his tendency to be late.”
On the AITA subReddit, people are judged for how they react in a given situation. Were they wrong? Were they right? The opinions of internet strangers will decide.
OP was judged with the following acronyms.
- NTA – Not the A**hole
- YTA – You’re the A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
With the understanding she waited for 40 minutes with no acknowledgement from her friend he was on his way, the board voted OP was NTA.
Maybe OP’s friend should learn to leave earlier.
“NTA! Perhaps now he’ll learn to not be so flippant with your time.”
“This kind of behaviour is infuriating. A text is not difficult to send” – donkeyinamansuit
“It drives me mad” – danceofthefireys (OP)
“NTA. Your friend is rude and clearly values their time more than your own. You shouldn’t have to chase them up and accommodate them as if they were a child.”
“You’ve laid down a boundary now.”
“Keep doing the same until this friend realised that your time is valuable, and that’s it’s common courtesy to 1) show up on time for plans and 2) let someone know if you’re unavoidably delayed- and this means genuinely unexpected delays, eg a flat tyre, a medical issue, etc.” – Sleepy_felines