Art is subjective. What one person might consider a work of exquisite beauty, others might consider a piece of total garbage.
It can be pretty surprising to discover that those near and dear to you might not share your opinion of a specific work of art.
Even more awkward, however, is when you don't particularly like a piece of art created by someone close to you.
Redditor paintypaint23's girlfriend felt that he needed to brighten up his home a bit more, so she gave him one of her paintings, which she took great pride in.
Unfortunately, the original poster (OP) was not particularly fond of this painting and was even embarrassed to display it in his home.
Feeling honesty was the best policy, he made it no secret to his girlfriend why he chose not to hang up her painting.
His honest opinion, however, was anything but appreciated by her.
Concerned about how he handled things, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**hole" (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditors:
"AITA for refusing to hang up the artwork my girlfriend got me for my birthday?"
The OP explained why he couldn't bring himself to display his girlfriend's painting in his home:
"My (26 M[ale]) birthday was a few weeks ago."
"My girlfriend, 24, and her friend are into things that I find a little outlandish and weird."
"I love her and her uniqueness, and I appreciate what she does, but I do think some of their habits and interests are unusual."
"We do not live together."
"She's made comments about how I need more artwork, and I agreed."
"She got me artwork."
"A homemade piece of artwork that she was given the idea through TikTok or something."
"Her best friend also did the same thing for her boyfriend."
"The best I can describe it is like she made a print of her a** and legs/thighs on a canvas."
"It's like she sat in paint and then sat on the canvas."
"Or something like that."
"Honestly, It must have turned out really well because you can clearly tell it's an a** and legs."
"The problem just arose recently because she came over and found the painting in my closet."
"She asked why it's not up, and I tried to dance around it."
"I did tell her (the truth) that my parents stop by sometimes, and I didn't want them to see it."
"She started telling me that the picture is 'beautiful' and I should want to 'embrace her' and some more lines about how I should 'embrace our intimacy'."
'I told her that, honestly, I find it off-putting. I think it is weird and borderline creepy."
"I told her I am very uncomfortable hanging up something like that, and if she checked with me first, I would have told her."
"She asked if I truly wasn't going to hang it up."
"I told her no, I will never consider putting that on my walls, but I appreciate the thought."
"She started crying, said I'm an ungrateful ahole, and she took the painting and said she will hang it up at her place."
"She said her friend's boyfriend loves the one he got, so she can't get why I'm being such a jerk about this."
'I don't think I'm a jerk for not wanting an, albeit artistic, nude of my girlfriend on my walls."
"AITA?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole\
- YTA – You're The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community was in agreement that the OP was not the a**hole for refusing to display his girlfriend's nude portrait.
Everyone agreed that regardless of the content of the painting, the OP had the final choice of what he did and didn't display in his own home, and his discomfort with displaying this particular painting was more than valid:
"NTA."
"That's the kind of gift you only get someone if they're 100% into nude artwork and are comfortable with displays of sexual intimacy."
"Plus the length of your relationship comes into play here: I wouldn't want the a** of my gf of 6 months on the wall, but gf of 2 years could be a different story."- allkindsoftired
"NTA."
"I think you handled it well."
"Maybe ask if her she could paint something else that plays into her creativity and still meets your boundaries?"- Abject_Inside7644
"NTA artwork in one's home is very personal, and you shouldn't have to display something you don't like - especially when said artwork is just her sitting in paint."
"I've seen that trend. Personally, I think it's tacky and stupid, but to each their own."
"And your opinion is no."
"Go to a local art fair or Etsy or something and find some pieces YOU like."- Jerseygirl2468
NTA. I wouldn't want my partner of over a decade's body art on any of my walls either. But that art isn't to my tastes, nor would I want my body displayed for randos and strangers to view in someone else's home. It might just be that you have very different tastes in artwork and are incompatible in how sexually explicit you're willing to have your home decor.
"The comments about it being creepy would be worse if she hadn't kept pushing on the issue."
"If you were polite about it until backed into a corner, it's somewhat understandable."
"I assume your gf was expecting her sexual vulnerability to be met with a similar appreciation her friend got, and she's reacting badly because society doesn't condition women well for the idea that they may be sexually rejected in any way."
"I hadn't heard of this on TikTok, but my friend has mentioned a similar thing happening on reality shows she watches where they had couples make these paintings together (I don't watch those but I think it was the Bachelor/Bachlorette?)."
"The concept has always seemed extremely awkward to me unless you have a really specific art taste."
"It seems weird to explicitly display yourself, even in paint form, for whatever guests you have over."
"And that seems like a really weird thing to decorate around."
"This also is a terrible gift."
"She wanted you to have more artwork."
"She wanted you to respond to her in an appreciative way."
"It's in the same vein as 'gifting' wearing lingerie and has a lot of the same issues as that concept does."
"I think responses would be very different if a guy made a clone-a-willy into the base of a table lamp and his girlfriend didn't want that on her bedside table or in a small apartment where guests see most of the space."- notthedefaultname
"She's weird."
"NTA If there was a place in your house that guests typically don't go (master bathroom? Bedroom?) maybe that would be a good spot to hang it up?"
"But honestly I think it's weird that she's upset you won't hang it up when your parents and any visitors could see it and by the sounds of it, easily tell it's an a**."
"Anyone can do what they want with their home decor, but I wouldn't want people to be subjected to that or explain what it is haha."- CrazyCranberry3333
"NTA."
"Most people do not want intimate or sexual art displayed in their homes, period."
"It's a very specific person who is okay with that."
"I have friends bringing kids to my house."
"One day I might display fine life drawing art which are usually nudes, but there's a big difference between that and a literal A** PRINT."
"Assuming it would be fine and then shaming you for not wanting to display it is not cool on your gf's part."
"I understand being upset a gift is not received well, especially a homemade one, but she's taking it out on you instead of dealing with the feelings herself."- earthenlily
"NTA."
"Your girlfriend has equated you not liking the painting with you not liking her when that's not the case."
"Surely she knew this kind of art wouldn't be to your taste, but went ahead anyway."- RoyallyOakie
"NTA."
"It's totally reasonable to have boundaries about what kind of art you're comfortable displaying, especially with family around."
"You appreciate her effort, but everyone has different tastes when it comes to personal or intimate decor."
"It's more about mismatched expectations than ungratefulness."- Moist_Programmer_560
"NTA."
"Of course, you're NTA for not wanting to put pornography art on your walls."
"Your gf sounds very immature."
"No I don't want your butthole on my walls for my parents to see, wtf."- buttpickles99
It was generous of the OP's girlfriend to provide him with a work of art for his walls.
However, maybe she could have asked him about what sorts of things he might like displaying.
And if she really did have some concerns about their "intimacy," as the OP mentioned, the best place to do that would probably be with a therapist, not with one of her own paintings.
Humiliated Redditor Ditches Friend's Birthday After She Publicly Mocks Them In Front Of Everyone
Fake people tend to show their true colors during pivotal moments, like weddings and major celebrations.
But when they want an audience to hurt someone else, it takes total sense that they would be called out in front of everyone, as agreed by members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subreddit.
Redditor HollyyGinger went to their close friend's birthday party, expecting to have a good time and celebrate their loved one's special day.
But when their close friend made several mocking comments about them, and the party laughed along with them, the Original Poster (OP) took that as an indication of the state of their friendship and left the birthday party early.
They asked the sub:
The OP was excited to celebrate their close friend's birthday.
"One of my close friends had a birthday dinner last weekend, and I was genuinely excited to go."
"I helped her organize a few things beforehand, bought her a gift, and even rearranged some plans because I wanted to be there for her."
But the birthday dinner did not go at all how the OP expected.
"During dinner, though, she started making little jokes about me in front of everyone."
"At first, I laughed along because I didn't want to make things awkward on her birthday."
"But she kept going. She joked about dating life, brought up an embarrassing story I had told her privately, and made another comment about how I'm ''way too sensitive' sometimes."
"People were laughing, and I tried to act like it didn't bother me, but honestly, I felt pretty humiliated."
The OP tried to ask their friend to change the direction of the rest of the party.
"I quietly asked her when we were alone if she could stop making me the joke of the evening."
"She rolled her eyes and said I was taking everything too seriously and that everyone knew she was joking."
"I went back to the table for a while because I really didn't want to ruin her birthday."
"But then she made another joke about me, so I decided I'd had enough. I congratulated her again, said goodbye to everyone, and went home without making a scene."
The OP's friend tried to blame them for how the evening turned out.
"The next morning, she texted me, saying she was hurt that I left early and that several people noticed."
"She said that I made her feel like she had done something horrible when she was 'just having fun.' But her having fun was more of a public embarrassment to me."
"Now I feel guilty, because it was her birthday, and maybe I could have just ignored it for another hour or two."
"I wasn't trying to punish her or make the night about me. I just didn't want to sit there smiling while someone I trusted kept embarrassing me after I had specifically asked her to stop."
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
Some reassured the OP that she didn't have to stay at a party where she didn't feel welcome.
"She was having fun. You were not having fun."
"You’re not overreacting. You told her it was hurting you, and she kept doing it because hurting you was entertaining for her. She is not a good friend." - Dunquinn-
"I remember when I was really little, a bunch of adults were laughing at me as I cried."
"I cried to my mom, 'Stop laughing at me,' to which she replied, 'We aren’t laughing at you; we're laughing with you,' while giggling."
"My response was something I stand by to this day: 'Then why am I the only one crying?!'"
"It’s only funny if the person who’s being teased is laughing too. You weren’t laughing. It wasn’t funny; it was cruel. NOR." - XSmartypants
"She’s a bully. It wasn’t 'more like 'it was publicly embarrassing. It WAS publicly embarrassing."
"Then she tells you that SHE is embarrassed because YOU left early. That's bulls**t."
"NOR. Drop her." - WTH_JFG
"NOR. They make jokes about someone's privacy to humiliate that person. Anyone who would use info that was shared in confidence to get a laugh is an abuser. You don't do that, especially to a close friend, without the intent to hurt that person." - BungenessKrabb
"Would it have been fun if you did the same? Start telling her darkest secrets?"
"She made you into a punchline for other people’s entertainment."
"You told her to stop, and she didn’t; now she’s the victim?"
"NOR."
"But also, some people need to feel it to believe it. I hope you go to the next gathering with a few stories of your own and don’t let her rewrite the narrative." - beached_not_broken
"I’ve had it happen by my 'best friend' at the time, only it was in a professional setting event. Very personal details only she knew, all spilled for her amusement, embarrassing me in front of colleagues."
"NOR, OP. As you did, I left the gathering earlier than expected. My 'friend' called the next day asking why I left so early. I told her what she had said and done and how humiliated I felt."
"Her 'apology' was that flippant version that shows no remorse, like, 'Well, I’m sorry you feel that way.'"
"Over the subsequent years, she managed to alienate and burn bridges with most of those same people we were gathered with."
"I’m sorry this happened to you, OP. Anyone who thinks you were 'too sensitive' has no empathy and 'friends' like that don’t deserve your time." - Hungry_Tank9182
"NOR. She was being a jerk to you, and she was expecting you to just take it and not say anything or defend yourself."
"Because they think it's sooo funny to mock others, but I bet if the roles were reversed, she would be offended and upset."
"Honestly, you deserve better friends. I'm sorry you had to deal with this."
"I would've left and blocked her." - Cryslove
Others urged the OP to stop thinking about the event and let that friendship go.
"That was the point of her fun! Humiliating you with an audience!"
"Sharing something deeply personal, told in confidence? Immediate dealbreaker."
"She is not (and likely never was) your friend. Friends do not treat friends with such disrespect. Block her, and go no contact. She brings nothing good to your life, and she’s not worthy of your energy and time."
"NOR." - MizPeachyKeen
"It’s called bullying. She is not your friend. Friends don’t humiliate their true friends, or tell them 'they are too sensitive.'"
"That is what bullies do. She keeps you around to put you down and make herself look or feel better."
"Her actions, attitude, and behavior are those of an immature high schooler. She could actually be jealous of you and not want one or all of the following: you to succeed, have more friends, feel better about yourself, look better, etc."
"Please slowly distance yourself, find new hobbies and activities with more mature, well-rounded, healthy people." - Freeling_Fab_U_lous
"How DARE you spoil her fun; didn't you know that part of your gift was letting her make you the butt of her jokes? (sarcastic comment)"
"What an awful person. No one should need to put others down to raise themselves up. She doesn't deserve the title of friend, to be honest. You showed much more grace than I would have managed." - tphatmcgee
"She was using you as her punching bag to make the others attending laugh. Probably thinking you’d just take it. That’s not a good friend. NOR." - Additional-Start9455
"'Someone I trusted kept embarrassing me after I asked them to stop.' NOR."
"First, you shouldn't have had to ask her to stop because a friend wouldn't have started in the first place. One of her 'jokes' was about you being sensitive, so she knew you didn't like it and did it anyway."
"Second, you asked her privately to stop, because you didn't want to embarrass her. Think about that. You didn't want to embarrass her. But she couldn't show you the same consideration, even after being asked to stop."
"That's not how I treat my friends, and I suspect that's not how you treat your friends, either." - calminthedark
"I would have answered her text that she's a s**tty friend and to f**k off. You have class."
"I probably would have made a comment at dinner that I asked her to stop with the insults."
"NOR. You did everything right." - Particular-King218
The subReddit was disappointed on the OP's behalf that a friendship they were so committed to, they were excited to celebrate their friend's birthday and even helped plan the event, came apart at their expense, and on very public terms.
If the friend didn't want to be "embarrassed," maybe she should have thought about how she was embarrassing others first.