Certain people always need to be the center of attention.
In order to make that happen, they might choose to wear certain things that bring attention to them.
Usually eye-catching or provocative items, sometimes even giving people a false impression about them.
Sometimes, however, people dress a certain way or wear certain things simply because it’s their personal taste, and they aren’t trying to bring attention to themselves at all.
Even though they still find themselves attracting an unwanted amount of attention.
Redditor lookoka recently found an accessory that caught their eye, resulting in an impulse purchase that made them very happy.
When a friend of the original poster (OP) saw them wearing this accessory, it led them to assume that the OP’s life was about to significantly change.
When the OP set their friend straight, they were rather surprised to find themselves accused of “catfishing”.
Wondering if they had done anything wrong, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for wearing an engagement looking ring?”
The OP explained why they were accused of giving their friend a false impression owing to one notable accessory:
“So I (26 M[ale]) doesn’t wear much jewelry due to it either not feeling nice and I don’t like the look of most stuff.”
“I went thrifting a month ago and found a gold ring inlaid with a thin black stone in the middle.”
“It felt/fit amazing on my left ring finger and I started wearing it.”
“I met my friend today (26 F[emale]) while wearing it and she was shocked and asked when I got engaged?”
“I was confused and asked what she meant since I’m single and she just pointed at the ring.”
“I laughed and said no it just looked cool.”
“She responded with accusing me of catfishing girls.”
“Tbf I have noticed some unusual positive attention lately from women but attributed it to me losing weight.”
“Now she is mad and calling me a f*ck boy, but I can’t really see what I did wrong.”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed that the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
The Reddit community resoundingly agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for wearing a possibly misleading ring.
Not only did everyone agree that the OP did nothing wrong, and had every right to wear anything they so chose to, but also agreed that the OP’s friend didn’t seem to fully understand what “catfishing” entailed:
“NTA.”
“I’ve only recently gotten engaged and I’ve worn a gold ring on my left hand for the last decade.”
“I don’t care what others think.”
“I personally do it to keep unwanted advances from men, so on the flip-side maybe the women are being nicer because they don’t see you as a danger.”
“A lot of women really want men to treat us like possible friends and with general respect rather than just objects of sexual desire.”
“I know I do.”- Open-Intention-2066
“NTA.”
“And I’m really curious how she thinks it’s catfishing.”- KainTheVampire
“NTA.”
“Wear what you want pal.”
“If a girl is only interested in you because she thinks you’re already taken, well that says more about her than you.”- 81optimus
“NTA.”
“You can do wear anything you want.”
“But why are you specifically wearing it on your left ringer, knowing the implications there?”- TheAman44
“NTA.”
“What a bizarre definition of catfishing lol.”- probably_beans
“NTA.”
“Women wear fake engagement rings sometimes depending on what kinda work they do to at least try to keep the creeps at bay, super weird double standard she’s got going.”- m_e_hRN
“NTA.”
“Your friend is strange, the women will immediately be uncatfished when they find out you are not in a relationship.”
“So that was a pretty silly thought for her to have.”
“Now if you were doing some ‘oh, yes, but my fiancee tragically died…’ act then obviously that would be wrong.”
“But you aren’t, it’s just a ring you like.”- mlc885
“NTA.”
“How is wearing a ring catfishing?”
“She is saying you are trying to pick up girls by being absolutely NOT available.”
“Lol wow.”
“Wear what you want.”
“A black stone isn’t in most engagement rings.”
“When I was young I don’t even think men wore engagement rings at all.” – Mundane-Currency5088
“NTA.”
“If you’re getting hit on by women because you have a ring on – that’s the trash taking themselves out.”- icedcoffeealien
“NTA: Wear whatever you want.”
“It’s bizarre that this is an issue to her.”- The-Comfy-Chair
“NTA.”
“Your friend is weird.”-Most-Spinach-6069
“NTA.”
“I’m confused.”
“Your friend thinks you’re wearing an engagement ring so you can pick up girls?”
“Do girls love guys who cheat on their fiance?”
“Is this really a thing?”
“God I hope this is your friend being an idiot and this isn’t a thing.”- FacetiousTomato
“Wait a minute.”
“Is this one of those things that attracts women when it should be doing just the opposite, like walking a baby in a stroller?”
“I’m glad I don’t have to play those games anymore.”
“Also, I’d like to see a picture of the ring, just so I can admire it.”
“NTA.”- zyzmog
“NTA.”
“If you like it wear it.”- Electrical_Ad4362
“NTA.”
“Wear what you want the way you like and tell your friend to not read too much into it.”
“Just be aware of the implications and that some women might not accept the ‘oh I’m single’ if you want to ask them out.”
“I have been asked out by men wearing rings and I assume they are married because more often than not they have been, UNLESS they wear more than one ring because then I assume they are a pirate (and then it’s like a whole look).”- flaggingpolly
“NTA.”
“What guy wears an engagement ring?”
“She’s odd.”- Independent_Soil_256
“NTA.”
“Obviously.”
“Wait so is she saying that women are more attracted to guys who are taken?”
“How is it catfishing?”
“Very weird.”
“Unless you’re going out of your way to lie about being engaged, which I would think should make any quality women stay away, if anything.”- WiseWolfian
“NTA.”
“You also might want to tell your friend she has no clue what catfishing means.”
“You also should consider a better friend.”
“This one seems broken.”- me_not_at_work
“She’s mad because OTHER women might get the impression you’re married and find you more desirable?”
“This is insanity.”
“NTA.”
“If anything I’d tell a male friend they might be hurting their chances wearing a ring on that finger because a lot of women will see a gold ring and think that might mean something.”- believe_in_claude
“NTA.”
“Catfishing woman.”
“To think you are in a relationship?”
“What?”
“It definitely points out the people who have a married affair kink, but what the hell?”
“No it isn’t your fault, I’d just recommend putting it on the same finger other hand if you keep it on the left ring.”
“Otherwise…. What?”- Throwway_queer
“NTA.”
“I don’t think your friend knows what catfishing is.”- Ocean_Spice
“NTA.”
“And WTF?”
“‘Wearing a gold band on your left ring finger is a sign that you are engaged or married’.”
“‘It’s this way in many places but especially America’.”
“I am in my 70’s, in America, and I have NEVER seen or heard of a man wearing an engagement ring.”
“This post is absolutely bizarre.”
“Enjoy your ring, wear it wherever you want!”- uTop-Artichoke5020
“WHAT!?”
“Wearing a ring is catfishing girls?'”
“So the assumption there is that women prefer married men?”
“Yuck yuck yuck.”
“NTA.”- Neko4tsume
“NTA.”
“Does she even know what catfishing is lol.”
“Sounds like your friend is a bit dense.”- glitterolives
“NTA.”
“Hey man whatever works.”
“Women want to wear makeup then you get to wear a ring that may or may not signify something and let the weird ‘I’m going to take what isn’t mine’ girls take a crack at you.”- nuclearpiltdown
“NTA.”
“I’ve been wearing a ring I inherited from my grandmother on that finger for years because it doesn’t fit properly on any other finger.”
“It’s no one else’s business and in all that time, only one person asked if it was an engagement ring.”- Small-Human-Bean
Catfishing usually involves leading someone to believe they are an entirely different person than who they actually are.
Not trying to seem more attractive to others by lying about a part of your life.
Neither of which the OP was trying to do.
It seems clear that this so-called friend has some fairly unresolved issues, both with the OP and in general, nor does she seem to have a particularly high opinion of the OP.
What is less clear is whether or not the OP should really consider this woman a “friend”.