Gift giving can be an arduous task.
You want it to be perfect. You want them to remember it, even if it’s a silly gag gift.
It’s especially cumbersome when you’re a new romantic paramour trying to make the best impression.
And when that impression is on your love’s kids? Things can get crazy.
And that can lead to issues.
Case in point…
Redditor Nightshadewine wanted to discuss her story for some feedback. So naturally she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
“AITA for being angry my Boyfriend bought my children a Puppy?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I am the mother of twin 10 year old sons, I’ve been seeing my boyfriend for the past year and things are going well, though we’re taking things slowly in light of my sons.”
“My boyfriend came round a few days ago with a Lurcher puppy for the boys as a Christmas present and they were of course over the moon, I was less pleased.”
“I was planning to get them a dog as they’ve wanted one for a while but I wanted to carefully research breeds that would fit our lifestyle best and then look into adopting and getting as close a match as possible.”
“I also do not like the idea that this is a Christmas gift as I don’t want them to think a sentient animal is a gift, I’m very much against that as it often encourages a lack of empathy and responsibility which is why after holidays so many animals are dumped at shelters.”
“I haven’t expressed my displeasure in front of the boys, as I’m not a monster and I can’t take the puppy away now they have it.”
“But my boyfriend and I have been having a few arguments over this when my children aren’t around, as I feel he overstepped.”
“While he doesn’t see what the big deal is; when I was going to get a dog anyway.”
“I know he is trying to win brownie points and make the boys like him more but I feel this was totally the wrong way to go about it.”
“Should I just get over it and accept what is done is done?”
“As I’m hardly going to take the puppy from my sons?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA?:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors declared our OP was NOT the A**hole.
It’s a tricky situation.
Let’s hear some thoughts…
“NTA. Your boyfriend completely overstepped boundaries.”
“You’re 100% correct. An animal is a 15 year responsibility, and a costly one.”
“It was beyond inappropriate he gave them the dog without discussing with you first.”
“If he doesn’t see the problem after you discussed the issues, that’s a big red flag.” ~ catfoodonmyshelf
“The thing is, he hasn’t just gifted your kids a dog.”
“He’s gifted YOU the huge amount of physical and financial responsibility that comes with a dog, without your agreement, and not even allowed you to choose one that fits your lifestyle.”
“This is not what a partner does.”
“This is at best totally inconsiderate, at worst a really bad power play – let’s go for the middle and call it a d**k move. NTA.” ~ help-iminascrollhole
“And it’s a lurcher?!?! That’s a high energy dog that will be very large.”
“It’s a sight hound and can be, well, single minded if it decides to run after something.”
“It’s going to get big, fast, and likely the kids won’t be able to handle it for walks in a year or so unless it’s been well trained.”
“This was an awful gift. Boyfriend should have to take the puppy back with a preplanned excuse that doesn’t dump the responsibility on mom.”
“Maybe a ‘this puppy was already promised to someone else, so I have to bring it back, but your mom is going to get you a puppy soon.'”
“God, the boyfriend is an incredible AH. I’m burning with the heat of a million incandescent suns for you.” ~ where_are_the_bats
“I literally didn’t even read the text just the ‘AITA for being mad your boyfriend got your kids a puppy’ and nope you’re NTA. I would be freaking pissed.” ~ lgoose904
“Boyfriend is absolutely TA for giving a puppy as a gift (for all the reasons OP said in their post) but honestly the idea that lurchers need a lot of exercise tends to be not true!”
“Of course it depends on their exact mix but I have two and one spends almost all his time asleep, the other has a couple of zoomies a day and other than that also sleeps a fair amount.”
“The tall fence is a must though for sure, my bull lurcher could jump over my head with a bit of a run up.” ~ pktechboi
“Not a sweet gesture at all.”
“Tell him his dog needs to live at his house and the boys can visit. Or follow the suggestion that this dog has to go back.”
“This is not a small thing. This dog will be a ton of work for you, day in and day out for 15+ years.”
“You can’t let him decide this for you. Finding a breed that’s a good fit, then an individual dog that’s a good fit, is really important.”
“You are NTA and the dog has to go.” ~ TresWhat
“NTA, a pet, especially a dog, is a long-term commitment and not an impulse purchase.”
“You had a sensible plan for adopting the right dog for your family: he leaped in and bought a puppy without asking or involving you in the process (is this really the dog HE wanted? Hmmm).”
“I think your best bet now, since you plan on keeping the dog, is to learn everything you can about Lurchers and make a plan for training, exercise needs, etc.” ~ B4pangea
“NTA – animals are not toys.”
“They are commitment. And your kids are young, meaning most of care will fall on you.”
“He is TA for making decision without asking.”
“And breedwise, it’s not being a snob but it’s not the same, some can take care for big sized ones, some can manage only small dogs, health concerns, long or short hair.”
“The conversation was a must, not his call no matter how good his intentions were.” ~ Least_Conference2617
Everybody loves puppies, but puppies, well pets in general, are work and a commitment.
So be ready.
It sounds like OP has Reddit in her corner.
It feels like everybody’s heart was in the right place.
Let’s hope this all works out and that fur baby has found its forever home.