Other people’s cultures are not a joke.
Their religious traditions are valid, and regardless of how we, as people who grew up in a different culture, feel about them, those things are still very important to those people.
We have no right to impose our way of life upon others.
So Redditor boshessap assumed he was operating under mutually respectful circumstances with his roommate until his roommate’s prank showed him otherwise.
Unsure if he overreacted, he went to the popular subReddit “Am I The A**hole?” or “AITA” for feedback on his reaction.
“AITA for not supporting my roommate financially for breaking my fast as a ‘joke’?”
Our original poster, or OP, told us about the cruel circumstances that lead to this manipulation.
“English isn’t my first language so sorry in advance, also throwaway cause we are friends with my other roommate on my normal account, also english isn’t my first language.”
“So for context; i(19M[ale]) live in a 3+1 house with 2 other roommates as i’m going to college. I have some savings so i pay most of the rent for one of my roommates P(21).”
OP is celebrating Ramadan and observing the traditions of it.
“So onto the story, I am Muslim and i do fast during Ramadan, I also do the cooking in the house. On Saturday, I was cooking the dishes as i always did and i asked my roommate P what’s the time.”
“He purposefully told me the time was 10 mins later than it actually was, so assuming i could open my fast, i tasted the shrimp i was cooking cause they were P’s fav and i wanted to do something for him.”
That’s when OP found out the cruel truth.
“After that he bursts into laughter, telling me the real-time and laughing with a huh gotcha face. I got mad told him he could finish making dinner and from now on pay his own rent.”
“I do think not helping him with rent when he is struggling financially might be an AH move tho, so Reddit AITA for no longer wanting to help my friend after he pulled a cruel joke on me?”
Anonymous strangers weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
Redditors actually thought OP might have been too nice on this one.
“First off, you should not be paying this guy’s rent in the first place with your own savings”
“Secondly NTA. This is because your roommate played a cruel joke even if it was well intended.”
“He showed a lack of respect towards your culture, and given you’re literally paying the rent of a man 2 years older than you when you yourself are only 18, this guy is a joke.”
“For those who don’t understand, my point about the joke being well intended meant that the roommate may have believed he had good intentions making the joke.”
“I whole heartedly believe that it was NOT a joke, it was nothing other than an insult.”
“It is despicable what he has done.” ~CabelloLufc
“I think this may have been a calculated insult to the OP and to his religion. It’s a really horrible thing to do to anyone. I would be furious if I were the OP.”
“The OP’s roommate is an AH! I cannot imagine how anyone would think what he did is OK, and I think very few people would behave like this. OP, please find a better roommate.”~squirrelfoot
“Regardless of if he was paying rent or not, making someone break their fast and go against their religion is disgusting, that’s not a joke at all that’s just horrible.”
“He might have to do another day at the end now to make up for it if he’s strict so that’s another day for him feeling like crap fasting, down to his friends ‘joke’. I feel really bad for OP.”~Trustworthy_Turtle
“NTA- why are you paying another man’s rent is beyond me. Also, he should be doing something nice for you and not the other way round.”
“You sound nice but definitely gullible and naive – be careful out there.”~momo_9898
Helping those less fortunate is ingrained in Islamic culture, but not if they are going to do you a cruel service in return.
“NTA, but your roommate sure is, and ungrateful to boot.”
“People who pull this b.s. ‘gotcha’ with other folks’ religious requirements / allergies / vegan or vegetarian / et. al. are *terrible*.”
“It’s a cruel thing to do, it’s not funny, and in some cases –particularly those who have food allergies — it can be dangerous.”
“Let this be a hard lesson learned for him. If he gets evicted? Not your problem. (But lock up your expensive stuff if you have any, so he can’t steal and sell it once crunch time hits for him.)”~GeekyStitcher
“As an Orthodox Jew who is only familiar with the basics of Ramadan (as in I know when it falls and I know to not offer food to a Muslim during the day), I find this fascinating to read the different opinions on if this is considered as if his fast was broken or not.”
“But wouldn’t the correct answer be to discuss this with his scholar who is knowledgeable in this area?”
“Asking to understand, not stop the debate or implying that it shouldn’t be discussed here. And just to make it clear, the OP is NTA.”
“One’s faith and observance is not something that should be used as a joke, especially if by doing so you are harming their soul by potentially causing him to sin, something that ultimately I am going to guess the roommate doesn’t understand.”
“Since even if someone who respects that you don’t do this didn’t fully grasp how this could affect the OP.”~Beautiful_Flower_Pot
“NTA. You are not under any obligation to financially support your flatmate at all and he should be grateful for the fact that you supported him this far.”
“How does he repay your charity? By playing a cruel trick on you that is deeply important to your faith.”
“He’s proven to you that despite everything you have done for him, he does not respect you or your faith and he sees them as something that he poke fun of when he sees fit.”
“I know it might sound harsh but his financial difficulties are not your problem and if he gets evicted then he should have thought about that before he decided to trick you.”
“By the same token if you withdraw your financial support and he is somehow able to make rent then he’s double TA because he had the means to pay the rent this whole time and used you as a cash cow.”~RickRoll2610
“NTA. That is EXTREMELY DISRESPECTFUL. You wouldn’t sabotage someone’s allergies or their diets, right? Same deal here.”
A”nd like dude, stop being a doormat. You guys are both adults let roommate act like one! Stop supporting him financially and cooking for him. This is where you draw a really hard boundary.”~pixierambling
And Redditors ultimately are encouraging OP to reconsider this friendship with his roommate.
“NTA, what he did was purposefully cruel and disrespectful. It’s not tour fault he’s struggling financially, you have no obligation to pay for him.”
“Your roommate played a stupid game and won a stupid prize which he is now mad about, but someday you have to learn that actions have consequences.”
“Please don’t give in to his guilt tripping and go beck to paying for him, he has showed his true colours and doesn’t deserve a penny from you.”~Kazvicious
“NTA – you are doing too much for him. Stop paying his rent. He doesn’t respect you and doesn’t care about your religion.”
“Cook for yourself and take a break from this friend (imo, what he did was awful enough that I think you should reconsider your friendship).”~Swegh_
“NTA. Whilst i don’t believe in religion i don’t think that was a joke.”
“No matter what your reason for doing anything nobody should f**k you over. In my book thats the same as slipping you acid or LSD. Not cool.”
“Also Ramadan is hardcore fair play to ya for doing it. I was raised catholic and we only had to give up chocolate or whatever for lent (40 days) but was rewarded with a f**kload of easter eggs”~bearded_weasel
“NTA. Religious persecution is no joke. He needs to learn what he did is serious and extremely disrespectful. Even if it seems like no big deal to him, he has no right.”
“And since you have been doing him a HUGE kindness and been very generous, to pay you back with disrespect means he no longer deserves the extra help.”
“He MUST learn this lesson and if you don’t stop helping him, you are encouraging him to be the A.”~harpejjist
Pulling cruel pranks on someone based on their religion is no laughing matter.
All traditions deserve respect and understanding, even if you don’t initially “get it.”
Choose wisely who you prank.