While the idea of a perfectly blended family is ideal, reality is rarely The Brady Bunch.
A teenager turned to the "Am I The A**Hole" (AITAH) subReddit for feedback over their non-relationship with their half-siblings.
Similar to AITA, the AITAH subReddit allows posters to ask for advice and post about ending romantic relationships—both things that are banned on AITA. However, there are no required voting acronyms—only suggested ones—and no official final judgment declared.
Natural-Bat7423 asked:
"AITAH for telling my dad's pregnant girlfriend that he already has three kids I have nothing to do with and her baby will be no different?"
The original poster (OP) explained:
"I (17, male) grew up with my mom. I only ever saw my dad one day a month and that has not changed after all this time. My mom and I tried to end that visitation, but the judge said since dad never skipped a day it made sense to continue until my 18th birthday, which is in October."
"My dad has dated a few women over the years and he has three other kids out there. My mom was offered the chance for me to know them, but I wasn't interested, so mom said no thanks for me and that was it."
"Those kids are raised by different guys their moms are married to, so dad pays no child support or anything for them and he owes mom a ton of money too, but she won't tell me the exact amount until I'm 18."
"My dad has a new girlfriend now and she's pregnant. She only knew about me, not his other kids, and every time I was at his house, she could not understand my lack of interest in her pregnancy and her baby."
"She invited me baby shopping with her a few times and she asked if I wanted to go to see a special scan of the baby. It genuinely shocked her that I didn't accept the offer for any of it."
"Last week, she asked me why I'm not gearing up to be a big brother and she said she assumed I would have been happy to have a sibling after all this time. I told her this isn't the first kid my dad had with someone else and I have nothing to do with those kids and it won't be any different with her baby."
"I told her I consider myself an only child and that is not changing because he knocks up women at random. She got very upset and wanted to believe I was lying, but I convinced her."
"Then she asked why I care so little, because I could have lifelong relationships with them all. She said it was so sad and she started to cry and she said she wanted so much better for her baby."
"I told her she picked the wrong guy to have that with."
"She locked herself in their bedroom the rest of the time I was there and before I went home, my dad tried to get me to apologize, but I said no. His girlfriend texted my mom a few days ago and said she wanted an apology and to hear I would actually try to be a good brother to her child."
"My mom ignored the text, but I know the next time I go over there, if they're still together, I'll be dealing with it again."
"AITAH?"
The OP later added:
"He'll keep getting women pregnant as long as he's physically able. He has no shame in it."
"And he doesn't care about any of the kids he makes, so abandoning them doesn't matter to him. I mean, he had the chance to be a part of my life and he has never really been."
"I'm actually saved in his phone under my '(mom's name')s kid'. Not even my own name."
"She was surprised the others existed. She really didn't expect him to have more than me."
"I'm pretty sure she was in the dark about the lack of child support, too. He's ordered to pay for me, but he keeps jumping from job to job which doesn't help anything and he's just really unstable and unreliable with everything."
"She also now knows he doesn't support the others at all. It's only me so far, and even then he's probably tens of thousands in debt, if I had to guess."
"My mom raised the issue of him being way behind on child support a ton in court, but the judge still insisted I go do visitation. He said it was only once a month."
"He felt it would be good for me and he didn't appear willing to accept he could be wrong."
Some Redditors weighed in by using the AITA voting acronyms:
- NTA - Not The A**hole
- YTA - You're The A**hole
- NAH - No A**holes Here
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
- INFO - more information needed
Redditors decided the OP wasn't wrong to tell his father's girlfriend the truth (NTA).
"NTA even if you were harsh but truthful. And to be honest, I'm glad you said something to her. Your dad is the real issue here where he gets women pregnant and then dumps them and doesn't even bother with child support. She should be warned so she knows what she's getting herself into."
"Your dad is a horrible person OP, I cannot believe the judge forced you to see him even after he doesn't pay or do anything for you. This is ALL on your dad."
"If you want to make it easier next time, I'd let her know that she should demand child support so she doesn't end up in the same boat as your mom and others have. Give your dad a hard time about this OP, he deserves it." ~ sarcasmismygame
"What would you apologize to her for? Your dad not wearing a condom?" ~ humpyvision
"NTA, you owe that woman nothing and it’s weird to me that she would get so offended that you wouldn’t want anything to do with her or her kid. She’s a girlfriend of your dad who you already clearly have a rocky relationship with."
"Also, you’re 17. There’s not a lot of 17-year-olds that want to deal with a newborn baby in the first place. And why should you care about one of the clearly many girlfriends your dad has impregnated? That's not your problem."
"She’s not an a**hole for wanting to have a kid with that man if she genuinely wants one, but she is if she expects anything of you when it comes to helping out with or caring for the baby. She shouldn’t make that your problem." ~ CelestialCastiel
"NTA. The mindset that she and her baby will be the ones that matter over all the others this guy has fathered and abandoned is delusional at best. I don't blame you for wanting no part of that sh*tshow in the making." ~ Substantial_Key4640
"NTA. This woman also is nothing to you. She is just your father’s latest girlfriend, She didn’t raise you."
"It is not right or wrong for you to choose to be involved with her child or to choose not to have a relationship with her. It is your perogative." ~ Sensitive-Club-6427
"What you said was savagely blunt, but NTA. This is entirely on your father for not informing his gf, but it's also on her for not investigating before getting knocked up." ~ SaveFileCorrupt
"You don’t owe this lady sh*t. She’s finding out the hard way why you don’t get knocked up by some rando you just met. An apology doesn’t unruin her life."
"The fact that she’s less mature than a teenager on this is embarrassing."
"Your mother should take him to court, at least if he’s in jail he can’t be out philandering." ~ Otherwise_Chemist920
"NTA. Unfortunately, a lot of first time parents want to feel like they're the ones who invented reproduction. She feels her baby's important and expects everyone to feel the same way, but even if your father was a committed parent, she would still be having a kid when you're about to leave home, so it doesn't change the lack of potential interest."
"However, what makes her worse in this case is basically expecting you to bend over backwards because she had a couple of tears in her eyes or felt a certain kind of way about things. It is woefully entitled to demand not just an apology, which she already isn't deserving of, but also some flaccid promise about being there for her child."
"She has to accept her boyfriend is who he is and that her child is inheriting the environment he created. End of story." ~ DivineTarot
"NTA. You're setting boundaries and dropping honesty to adults, as a teenager. Sorry you have to do that." ~ goosegoosepanther
"NTA. You were just being honest, and although the way you said it was slightly harsh, it was the truth, and the truth can be very harsh. She seems to be extremely pushy in the first place, which is what caused you to finally have to be so real about the situation."
"As for her 'wanting so much better for her baby,' she should have thought about that before getting pregnant by a man who already has a child he only sees once a month. Any man who doesn't want to be more involved in his already existing child's life more than once a month isn't going to give you any better."
"Honestly, I think the man who got her pregnant should he apologizing and she's being completely unreasonable and completely overreacting!" ~ daydreaming_divine
OP may have dropped a truth bomb on his father's latest girlfriend, but only she's responsible for making herself a target.
