Parents will go to great lengths to protect their children.
Which sometimes might include lying to them.
These might be little white lies, to protect them from harmful information.
However, no one is thrilled to learn that they’ve been lied to for any amount of time, least of all children.
Resulting in these parents efforts to protect their children turning out to be counterproductive.
Redditor TroubleInGluten grew up under the impression that he had a medical condition which could be serious.
Only to learn his parents fabricated the whole thing, effectively putting a strain between the original poster (OP) and his parents.
Wondering if his anger was justified, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for going no-contact with my parents after learning they had lied to me about my allergies all my life?”
The OP explained how his parents led him to believe that nearly all foods loved by children were off limits to him, until he made a shocking discovery.
“Hey everyone.”
“I am 19 years old and my parents are in their 50s.”
“For as long as I can remember, I have been allergic to several things.”
“Dairy, wheat/flour/gluten, legumes.”
“Since I was a young child, my parents have completely kept all of them out of our house.”
“While other kids ate breakfast cereals, I ate fish and assorted pickled vegetables for breakfast.”
“While other kids had Lunchables, I had grilled chicken or fish with, again, assorted vegetables, usually sweet potatoes.”
“While other kids ate birthday cake at the birthday party, I had an apple.”
“I never questioned this until a couple of months ago.”
“I was at my aunt’s house for my birthday party, and she made brownies for everyone.”
“For me, she took great steps to make them with almond flour and avoided all of my allergies.”
“I started eating them and thought little of it until my aunt suddenly looked at me and, in a panicked way, asked which plate I took the brownies from.”
“I pointed from the one where I got my brownies, and she immediately stood up and told me we had to get my EpiPen.”
“She raced to ask my mother for it, and I sat there scared out of my mind because I had never mistakenly eaten flour before.”
“I noticed my mother had calmed her down, and then she said that we don’t have to worry because she had switched the plates of brownies, and after all I had eaten the ones made with almond flour.”
“I found this incredibly odd because, really, why would she swap the plates?”
“That doesn’t even make sense.”
“But for the time being I let the issue rest.”
“It didn’t sit well with me for about a week and I finally went to get an allergy test.”
“The doctor started with a skin prick test, and lo and behold, I didn’t react to any of the above substances.”
“Then he ordered a blood test, and when the results came in, they said that I had absolutely no intolerance to any of the foods I’m supposed to be allergic to.”
“I was furious and called my mother.”
“She eventually admitted that she lied to me because she wanted me to be on a paleolithic diet, and wanted me to be able to avoid all temptations.”
“She raised me with a lie about her own health, but she keeps insisting that I try to see it from her perspective.”
“She spams my phone with messages about how healthy I am.”
“That I never had acne, that I have been in great shape my whole life, that I have strong teeth and bones, and even that I got onto a D1 college tennis team.”
“She has started calling me ungrateful for her intervention and insisting that I really should be glad I never got ‘carb addicted’.”
“I don’t know what to think.”
“I carried around an EpiPen for all those years.”
“One that I suspect may be fake seeing as my mother never got me to replace it, and I don’t even know anymore.”
“Am I the asshole and an ungrateful son for losing it over this?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community unanimously agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for being angry that his parents lied to him about his allergies.
Everyone agreed that his parents didn’t need to lie to him about allergies to put him on a healthy diet, and their doing so might lead to irreparable trust issues.
“NTA.”
“Also, tell your aunt about your mom’s lie.”
“She should know that your mom made her put in extra effort for who knows how many times, and caused her to go into a panic about you potentially having an allergic reaction, when in reality your mom had lied about your allergies.”
“I feel bad your aunt went through that.”
“What your mom did was so terrible.”
“She needs to face the consequences for her actions.”
“Cut contact until she understands just how bad her actions were.”- soullessginger93
“NTA.”
“You spent your entire life thinking that you could easily die because your mom wanted you on a special diet?”
“Allergies are incredibly serious and while you can grow out of them, to be lied to is unnecessary.”
“What your mom did was manipulative and poor parenting.”
“She easily could have had you on a diet like that without lying and making you fear for your life.”-weewooooooooo
“Absolutely positively not the a**hole.”
“She can’t raise her kid on a lie and expect him to be on with it, no matter how you turned out.”
“You missed out on sweets as a kid and Lunchables, which are wonderful.”
“And I feel like she lied about switching the plates just to calm her down.”
“She wouldn’t have known which plate you were gonna eat from.”- DesertEagleBennett
“NTA she lied while probably extolling the virtues of truth, some insight and acknowledgment from her about that would do wonders, but seeing that she doubled down based on her giving you no credit for the positives you have achieved through you own actions and not because she lied to you AND seeming to shame you for not being grateful.”
“She’s the a**hole.”- UncleFredP00P
“NTA.”
“Please try out cheese, you won’t regret.”- RollingKatamari
“NTA.”
“That could even be described as Munchausen syndrome by proxy (MSBP) what your mother did.”
“To maintain such a lie for so long.”
“Wow.”
“But oh my, you get to try all the cheeses now!”
“And legumes!”
“You shall feast.”- justmy2centsforyou
“NTA.”
“She did not need to do this.”
“Many people grow on different diets and food restrictions without needing to be lied to.”
“It’s not about temptation, it’s about education.”
“If she went so far as to always make food and desserts that didn’t have the things she told you are allergic, she didn’t need to lie.”
“Now you know the truth and not only ruined your relationship with her, erased all trust you had on her, it will also make you consume everything you couldn’t.”
“And I say, go for it!”
“Choose your own diet and keep away for some time.”
“Now that she doesn’t control this part of you anymore, she can get a little crazy.”- Quicksilver1964
“NTA.”
“She forced a lifestyle on you that was completely unnecessary for her own choices.”
“You can feed a child a healthy diet and teach them good lifestyle choices while letting them have a treat, like birthday cake!, every once in a while without lying to them.”- AreYouOrArentYou
“NTA.”
“Your mom sounds like those vegan/vegetarian people who don’t feed their dogs/cats meat.”-Shadow-Girl-2006
“NTA.”
“As you haven’t put any info on your dad here, I’ll only speak to what I have read here about your mom, and assume that your dad allowed all of this to occur thus being an ‘accomplice’.”
“Your mom is for sure in the wrong here, being manipulative, overbearing, and continues to guilt trip you even after you’ve exposed her.”
“She took credit for events in your life like not having acne, which could very well be circumstantial, and your tennis team, which is for sure not even remotely connected, and placed all those on the back of her diet plan for you.”
“She doesn’t realize that what she did was a major breach in trust, and most likely never will because she probably never intended for you to know the truth.”
“Some families might be vegetarian or have certain diet restrictions for religious/cultural reasons, which for the most part are for a sign of respect/discipline.”
“Your mother on the other hand put you in a situation where you were to fear straying from her diet, and didn’t think twice about giving you a say in the matter.”
“That is abusive, not only to you, but in her status as your mother, taking advantage to force you to do what she wanted, and make everything you do in your life attributed to her and her lies.”
“At the end of the day she breached your trust, for years, even after you became an adult, that isn’t something you can sweep under the rug as just a simple mistake that went on for far too long, the damage has been done.”
“You are not even close to being in the wrong for being angry and ‘ungrateful’, you were wronged by someone you should be able to trust, and you reacted accordingly.”
“Whatever you choose to do next is up to you, whether it be cutting ties with your parents or not.”
“But if after this you do choose to drop the diet your mother forced on you, maybe go to a local bakery and enjoy yourself.”- plain_oatmeal
No one can blame the OP’s parents for wanting him to be healthy.
Why they had to do so in this manner, however, is highly questionable.
As lying can, and often does, result in adverse effects.
One can only imagine that the OP is now wondering what else his parents may have been dishonest to him about.
Most likely contemplating it as he’s enjoying all the foods he’s missed out on over the years.