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Guy From A Poor Family Refuses To Comfort Wealthy Wife After Her Investments Take A Hit

A couple argues


Everybody needs it.

It makes the world go round.

It can also cause massive chaos.

Money issues can be especially difficult in personal relationships.

Case in point…

Redditor Effective-Branch7237 wanted to discuss his experience and get some feedback. So naturally, he came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.

He asked:

“AITA for telling my wife that her investing losses are not my problem?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“I (30 M[ale]) come from a very poor family, but my wife is from a very rich one.”

“She started off the marriage with a net worth of 31 million dollars, and I started it off with 300k dollars in student debt.”

“When we got married, she made me get a prenup that separated her inheritance and got rid of my right to an ‘elective share’ to it if she dies.”

“In other words, I renounced my spousal right to a third of her separate property if she dies, making her sole beneficiaries her siblings or potential children.”

“My debt and our incomes were also separated.”

“We both got lawyers — hers much more expensive than mine — and notarized the prenup.”

“None of this was a problem for me — as a man, I’m determined to pull myself up by the bootstraps, not rely on my wife’s wealth for anything.”

“The only beneficial part of the prenup for me was that our incomes were also now separate, and I earned a somewhat higher income than her, and so I was okay with it overall.”

“Five years later, I still don’t have a seventh of her current wealth, but her investments haven’t been doing great this year either.”

“As a sole crypto investor, things have been going very poorly for her.”

“I had warned her not to do this, but she invests in a cryptocurrency called ‘Monero,’ which is down 47 percent this year.”

“About 5 percent of her money was not in her wallet and was in the FTX exchange itself, which she lost after FTX went bankrupt recently.”

“She now has a net worth of around 18 million dollars.”

“I don’t invest in crypto, but rather in index funds.”

“They’ve taken a hit this year as well, but based on historical performance, they should go back up eventually.”

“No such guarantee for cryptocurrencies, and certainly not for Monero.”

“I came home to her crying the other day after she found out that FTX went bankrupt.”

“I told her ‘that’s rough’ — not in a sarcastic way — and I went upstairs to change.”

“When I got back downstairs, she started bitching and complaining, talking about how ‘nonchalant’ I was being about her losing money.”

“I pointed out that she’s still extraordinarily rich in spite of her poor choices and that she could stop investing in crypto at any time if she wanted to.”

“Besides, she was the one that wanted to separate everything, so why does she want to make it my problem all of a sudden?”

“So AITA?”

Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.

“I came come to her crying the other day after she found out that FTX went bankrupt. I told her that ‘that’s rough’ — not in a sarcastic way — and I went back to my room to change.”

“I don’t understand why having separate finances would stop you from being able to comfort her.”

“If my partner said they dropped $20 down a drainpipe I’d have more sympathy for him then you showed your wife who lost a considerable amount of money.”

“I get she has more, but it still sucks and I don’t see why you couldn’t sympathize with her.”

“She didn’t ask you for money or ask you to solve her problems, she just asked that you give a shit that your wife is having problems.”  ~ Sufficient_Cat

“It’s the rigid splitting of the marital assets that made the agreement feel a bit too mercenary to me.”

“And frankly, it’s not even the agreement as much as the process.”

“He felt like he didn’t have the same quality of representation and it seems like he was told to just suck it up to an extent.”

“It doesn’t sound like she tried to be considerate of his feelings or make sure that the agreement was fair to him.”

“So she has run a bit roughshod over him and that’s ok but now he has to put aside his feelings again to comfort her.”

“This feels pretty one-sided.”

“I hope they get counseling.”  ~ asecretnarwhal

“The wife INSISTED that the husband have ZERO connection to her wealth.”

“Pretty ruthlessly, I might add.”

“Millions of dollars, love the husband but oh, no, not enough to help with student loans or inheritance.”

“She should have listened to him.”

“She made it clear that finances were completely separate.”

“Her own dumbass fault, and frankly he owes her a meaningful ‘that sucks’ and nothing else.”  ~ Brianblaz

“It’s not that I don’t think the situation is weird/gross— I do, and I would never marry someone who wanted me to do this BUT.”

“Here’s the thing. He DID marry her.”

“He was completely aware of her conditions going in, and he chose to marry her anyway.”

“This isn’t something she sprung on him suddenly, once they were already married.”

“I do have some empathy for the dude, I think this sucks, but given that he did choose this, I think he does owe her more than ‘that sucks.'”

“Or, you know, he can get a divorce, since it seems like he doesn’t like her, their marriage, or their relationship all that much.”  ~ rose_daughter

“Yeah, THIS.”

“OP gave us the background info about him having to pay his 300k in loans even though she had 31 million, and his lawyer not being very good because HE ISN’T OVER THE PRENUP!!”

“And neither would I.”

“Freaking awful deal to not at least cover your student loan or something.”

“Separate incomes? WTF?”

“I get protecting her inheritance and family wealth but the other stipulations seem very harsh.”

“OP, It would be totally understandable for you to hold resentment.”

“But it will poison your marriage if you let this continue.”

“Get some marriage counselling and talk through your FEELINGS about this because you have lots of repressed feelings.”

“Freud says: ‘it’s not about the crypto or the prenup.'”

“It’s about feelings (resentment, hurt, trust).”  ~ blart101

“I agree with you but on another hand I would have a lot of difficulties empathizing with a life partner worth 31M net who would let me struggling with a 300k student debt.”

“If I was the one with the 31M I would have paid it in full, and accepted none partial or total reimbursement over the years.”

“My G[irl]F[riend] went back to studies, she had very little money.”

“I have and I inherited so I decided to use some of this inheritance to do something good and paid for a decent high end laptop, suitable for her studies.”

“When I compare my net worth to op’s wife initial net worth, in the same proportions, I bought a 247K$ gift.”

“What’s best for her is best for us in the long term.”

“It all comes down to how we envision relationships.”

“I think we should strive to empowers the so without providing for them (it’s all about balance), and that this will benefit the whole couple.”

“Or we can go full individualistic, which is OP case.”

“In that mindset, I could not empathize for someone who made a point not empathizing with me in the first place. NTA.”  ~ Zangdaarr

“This!! I don’t expect anyone to carry me, but good Lord!!”

“If I had significant wealth (like CONSIDERABLY less than OP’s spouse) to where 300k was no big deal.”

“I would want to make my partner’s life easier.”

“Frankly, OP, whether justified or not, resents his wife’s wealth and her choices to keep their money separated.”

“I don’t blame him – I would probably resent it too, even though I don’t want anything that isn’t mine.”

“It’s the idea that someone who loves me would rather see me struggle and stress over a 300k debt than offer help.”

“If the situation was reversed, I would help, no questions asked.”

“OP is simply being human.”

“No matter how much he insists he is OK with how things are, it is hurtful when the person you love will sit and watch you struggle, rather than helping… than they want sympathy? Nope!”   ~ Lovehatepassionpain

“Agreed, I couldn’t fathom hoarding anything much less my vast wealth from the person I married.”

“If she dies he’s broke and in debt? Who would want that?!”

“I do think that it’s cruel if she left him with student loans and blew millions on dumb choices.”

“My spouse and I share everything, when one of us gets a raise: we both do because we’re one unit/team.”

“Either some rich people don’t know how good they have it or they just don’t care.”

“I think that the wife is cold, selfish and dumb to blow millions on gambling.”

“Money doesn’t buy wisdom.”  ~ takenohints

“NTA – hey she wanted to ensure in every possible way you couldn’t touch her precious money.”

“Crypto is the wild west of investment, and if you go there, expect to be the victim of a train robbery.”

“I am not rich.”

“Sometimes I do wonder why some of the silliest people get money and the rest of us don’t.”

“How do people this foolish even get the money in the first place?”

“For the record, if I had 30 million dollars, even with a prenup, I still would offer to pay my husbands student debt as a wedding gift.” ~ alien_overlord_1001

Well OP, Reddit is pretty much with you.

Hopefully everyone’s finances can bounce back.

And you both can work through this rough patch.