Religious views are always a touchy subject, especially when conversation turns to scientific or historical information that refutes some of someone's core beliefs.
A guy on Reddit with a doctorate in history found himself in this sticky situation with a devoutly Christian new friend, and wasn't sure he'd handled it correctly by sharing his historian's perspective.
So, he went to the AITA (Am I The A**hole) subReddit for perspective. He's since deleted his post, but not before it sparked a lively conversation.
The Original Poster (OP), who goes by Nordenfeldt on the site, asked:
"AITA for correcting a Christian?"He explained:"One of my (M[ale] 37) oldest friends (F[emale] 36) has a new boyfriend. he seems like a decent guy, even loaned my 20$ for lunch once (Yes I paid it back). He is however, quite religious, while the rest of our friend group is not." "He is not overbearing about it, but he does refer to his faith and Christ an awful lot, just on the edge of what would be irritating. My friend has told us he doesnt mean anything by it, but thats just how he was raised and he doesnt think its abnormal, so we cut him some slack." "We were having drinks one evening, and talking about Roman history, as one does. Of note, I am a historian, with my doctorate from a top university. But I don’t work in the field of history, so it rarely comes up and I don’t make a big deal about it." "The conversation turned to sources of ancient Roman history and how a lot of the things we think we know are due to the biases of the classical historians, or their just transcribing oral traditions." "Our new friend spoke up and stated that at least we could trust the Gospels because they were written by eyewitnesses: the disciples of Jesus. notably we had not been talking about Christianity in particular. I corrected him, that none of the gospels were written by disciples, but by unnamed others long afterwards. I did so and what I thought was an entirely civil and conversational tone." "He immediately got very angry and loudly told us there was no one here who knew the Bible better than him and that he knew for a fact the four gospels were written by the four disciples of the same name. he then dared me to prove him wrong." "So I gave him the scriptural evidence, which is pretty absolute. I’m not going to get into the specific evidence here because I do not want this thread to turn into a polemic for or against the bible, or whatever: if people really care I can put it in the comments. Suffice to say the evidence is pretty incontrovertible, and out of the scripture itself." "I laid it out as politely and briefly as I could, and then (And here is where I probably drifted into AH territory), I just mentioned that, since nobody knows the scripture better than him, I’m surprised he didn’t know this already." "Anyway, he lost his poop, was screaming at me inches from my face about how I was a Communist, and a anti-Christian (again, not), and how he is always prosecuted no matter where he goes, and threw in a number of choice swear words and insults along the way. Then he stormed out screaming, got into his car, leaned on the horn for about 30 seconds, then drove away." "The clear consensus among my friends was that he was certainly on AH for his reaction, But the group was split as to whether I was also an AH for having corrected him on a topic clearly so close to his heart." "So, I throw myself open and ready for judgement from the collective wisdom, or at least collected comment section, of Reddit." "Was I the AH for correcting, and then demonstrating his wrongness, in front of the group?"OP then added a bit more context."EDIT to add: I should be clear my doctorate in History is not actually in the history of the Bible or early Christian theology, nor did I at any point mention my 'credentials'." "EDIT 2: Since I have been asked, the lead-in to the conversation wasn't religion at all, but one of the group had just rewatched 'Gladiator' on Netflix."OP's fellow Redditors were then asked to judge who was in the wrong in this interaction using the following acronyms:
- NTA - Not The A**hole
- YTA - You're The A**hole
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH - No A**holes Here















Woman Asks If It's Wrong To Cancel Date After He Makes Too Many Sexual Comments
Dating can be really hard, because let's be honest, as fun as it's supposed to be, there are some very strange prospects out there.
While some might just be socially awkward, there are definitely some walking red flags, ready to push every boundary, cautioned the members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subReddit.
Redditor Suspicious_End_441 had been talking to a guy for a little while and was planning to go on a first date with him when he started sending her increasingly inappropriate text messages.
But when his texts went far past her comfort zone, especially for someone she'd never met, the Original Poster (OP) planned to call off the date and truly never meet the guy in real life.
She asked the sub:
The OP had been talking to a guy and was looking forward to going on a first date with him.
"For context, I (30 Female) met this guy online and have been talking to him the past few days."
"He asked me out, and we planned a date for today. He seems really nice so far."
"I like him, but he’s made a couple of comments that maybe seem like a red flag to me."
"First off, I did my nails for the date, and he asked me to send him a picture, so I did."
"Then he made some comment like, 'Those would look great wrapped around something.'"
"I kinda brushed it off because I know that’s how some guys are... but it did give me the ick a little."
"Then I asked him to tell me more about himself, and the second thing he told me was that he has a high sex drive."
The potential date texted:
The OP no longer liked the idea of dating the guy.
"Don’t get me wrong, I’m no prude, but this made me slightly uncomfortable. I’m wondering what reason you would need to tell this to someone you haven’t even met yet."
"I didn’t think he would be expecting sex on a first date, but this made me rethink."
"I’m also recovering from a surgery that I had three weeks ago, and he knows this. So that literally isn’t even an option for me, not that I would wanna do that on a first date anyway."
The OP considered never meeting the guy in person.
"I kind of feel like he’s making too many sexual comments too quickly, especially considering I didn’t engage with his first comment at all."
"Am I overreacting, feeling like I maybe want to cancel the date and block him?"
"I just feel like these comments are an indicator of his expectations... or maybe he is just 'being a guy'?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
Some had second-hand "ick" from reading that text message.
"NOR. My face when I read that text: [Dan Levy from 'Schitt's Creek']" - Unlikely_Captain_499
"I’d nope out right after the nails comment. After I blast him for being completely out of line." - WHYohWhy__MEohMY
"If he’s that comfortable saying stuff like that before he meets you, imagine what he’ll say after he knows you better." - ScrambledNoggin
"Gross. That joke should be saved for wife or long-term girlfriend where you know you'll get a laugh... or more accurately, an eye-roll and a 'threat' to not sleep with him for the next three months, LOL." - HovercraftIII1258
"Every time I get my nails done, my husband says something similar to that, and I always reply, 'I think they'd look good jammed in your eye sockets,' and we both laugh, LOL. But we've been married for over a decade. When we met and when we were dating, he was incredibly polite and possibly TOO slow in making advances. THIS is gross." - wingin_it0618
"This is exactly what I expect as a response from a man heavily in the dating scene right now. Like, sex is fine, but this guy really couldn't wait to go out on the date that was already set up and chill for ONE d**n night? If the girl is into you, it will happen when it happens. It says to me like he has no self-control." - BrayIsreal
"If he's giving you the ick, listen to that. It's not going to go away. Don't waste your own time or his. Plenty more fish in the sea, girl." - Zieglest
"As a man who is heavily in the dating world right now, that sounds like such a turn off, and any self-respecting girl who wants an actual relationship would not even talk to him anymore after this. It's so cringey and makes all of us guys look like there's no reason we want to go out with them other than getting laid. As a guy, it's really annoying; it makes girls weirded out by all of us. Sigh."
"Like, sex is fine, but this guy really couldn't wait to go out on the date that was already set up and chill for ONE d**n night? If the girl is into you, it will happen when it happens. It says to me like he has no self-control."
"That was the dumbest thing he could say to kill his chances. I wouldn't bother with him." - BrayIsReal
"NOR, I wouldn’t want to go anymore either. Making multiple sexual comments before even meeting someone is purposeful, and I doubt he remembers that you can’t do anything due to your surgery or even considers whether you want to."
"Don’t brush off how your gut makes you feel. If you are uncomfortable, then you are under no obligation to go." - AliBari
Others urged the OP to listen to her gut, not to go on that date, and to immediately block the guy.
"If he is already this forward, making sexual comments to a complete stranger, then it will only increase from here; he’s not going to suddenly stop. OP, if he already makes you feel uncertain or pressured, then don’t bother." - saiphxo
"Your gut is telling you something and wants to keep you safe. Don't ignore it." - SparkEli1
"Stay far, far away from this guy. Block. Don't look back. Men like this use high sex drive as a disclaimer for zero boundaries later." - CompetitionLankys
"Trust your intuition. Don’t go."
"I (39 Female) am very comfortable with casual sex and hook-ups. When single, I have never needed an emotional connection with a man to let off some steam. I don’t need him to make me feel special or like we have potential. I don’t need to know his hopes and dreams. I separate men into 'just sex' and 'potential for more' easily."
"I do need him to show the most basic level of respect and not be a creep. I would stop talking to this guy the instant he started speaking like that, even if my intention was to just f**k him."
"We are already talking, we are already about to go on a date, why is he turning it creepy sexual, what is that doing for either of us. It just speaks to a lack of judgment, I wouldn’t want to trust. If he can’t handle a basic text conversation without being a creep, why would I trust him to be alone with me?" - TheCa11ousB**h
"Ok, so I'm a degenerate, but even I wouldn't say something like 'those would look good wrapped around something' to a person I'd never met."
"I mean... do I have to be dad here and say the obvious? It's some guy on the internet who's looking to f**k. Is that really what you want? He can't even be bothered to type the d in the word 'and.'"
"Also, your nails look cool." - skippybeefree
"I’m more insulted that it’s just a terribly uncreative line. This guy's a bum!"
"Also, it's a huge red flag is the first thing he describes himself as a clean freak and needs things done his way. Sounds like a control freak, which would make me dip out immediately." - JeromeBarkley
"Only you know what you need to do. Feel safe. Feel comfortable. Feel SAFE!"
"If you don't, then cancel."
"Some men (I am a man) sometimes say way too much way too soon, and some men don't know how to hold a decent conversation. Sometimes just telling them how you feel about the sexual comments and seeing his reaction will tell you more than anything else he has ever said to you up until this point."
"But always remember you can choose to back out at any point in a date, even if you turn up to have dinner but can't walk in. The same goes for him as well if he turns up but doesn't walk in. We all have the right to feel safe and comfortable, especially on a first date." - Ok_goal6591
It was possible that the guy was just excited about the date, nervous to talk to someone new, socially awkward, or just joking at an inappropriate level.
Unfortunately, though, it was much more likely that these comments indicated the guy's expectations for the first date and how he would treat the OP if she set boundaries, especially regarding his inability to perform after surgery for safety reasons.
While it would be fun to meet someone new, it was much safer for the OP to wait for someone else.