For all the joy that weddings bring, they also come with an equal amount of stress.
Primarily owing to the cost.
Indeed, as brides and grooms-to-be begin to peruse possible venues, caterers and attire, they quickly find themselves making compromises or sacrifices when they see the price tags that accompany them.
But the sister of Redditor WeddingBluesGo was not willing to compromise on her dream venue, even though it was well out of her price range.
While the original poster (OP)’s sister came up with a solution as to how she could afford to pay for the venue, it was a solution the OP wanted no part of.
And as a result, the OP lost her place in her sister’s wedding party, and caused tension within their relationship.
Questioning if she made the right decision, the original poster (OP), took to the subReddit “Am I the A**hole” (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for not helping my sister with wedding expenses?”
The OP explained how their sister hit a road bump with her wedding budget, and came up with a highly questionable solution to rectify it, one which required the help of her wedding party.
“My sister’s fiancé has recently lost his job.”
“They are paying thousands of dollars a month on this dream venue that she has booked for her wedding.”
“She now is wanting the wedding party to help her with the cost of the venue because she can’t afford the monthly payments now.”
‘I’m talking about $2500.”
“That’s on top of the $1500 I have already paid for my bridesmaid things and doesn’t included her bachelorette party.”
The OP wasn’t afraid to tell her sister that she found this far too grand a request, something her sister did not take kindly to.
“At this request I noped out of the wedding party and now my sister is pissed at me.”
“I told her I’m not going thousands of dollars in debt for your wedding.”
“She keeps insisting that this is her dream and she wants to get married in this expensive venue because some movie star did.”
“I told her there’s a lot I want but if you can’t afford something you can’t afford it.”
“She kept saying this is all she has ever wanted was to get married at this place and she’s hurt that I’m not supporting her.”
“I pointed out all I have ever wanted was to back pack through Europe and that’s my dream and she’s not supporting that.”
“She tried to tell me it’s not the same thing and I will understand how upset she if I ever get married.”
“I told her I wouldn’t pick a venue that I can’t afford and I wouldn’t make my friends and family go into debt for it.”
“I have declined to be in the wedding or help my sister.”
“I understand it’s her dream to get married there but if she can’t afford it she needs to look at other options.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
The Reddit community firmly took the side of the OP, agreeing she was no way the a**hole for refusing to help pay for her sister’s wedding venue.
Everyone agreed that it was irresponsible of the OP’s sister to choose a venue she couldn’t afford, even if it was her “dream” to get married there, and asking her wedding party to help pay for it was way out of line.
“Well I want a new Ferrari and you should help me pay for that because it’s my dream.”
“Another sister that needs therapy on this sub.”-EverythingSucksADuck.
“$2500 is what some people pay in RENT and MORTGAGE payments!!”
“Ya know what $2500 is in my house?”
“A month of rent, car insurance, internet and groceries.”
“So for example, if I was in the wedding party, she is essentially asking me to let my family go homeless so she can get married at her special venue.”
“Obviously this metaphor is extreme, but it could be real.”
“To just ‘assume’ everyone who’s in your wedding can and ARE willing to drop THAT kind of money, monthly into SOMEONE ELSES WEDDING?”
“Yeah no, she’s ridiculous.”
“If she wants the venue that bad she can find another job.”
“Good on you for pulling out of the wedding and making your stance clear.”
“She seems like the jaded veil has been pulled over her eyes a bit.”
“Also, I hope you make it to Europe one day for that backpacking adventure!”- OsaBear92.
“It doesn’t sound like they could really afford to book the place to begin with, let alone now that fiancé doesn’t have a job.”
“She needs to look at the reality of her situation instead of trying to rope other people into paying for a dream.”-readshannontierney.
“No one is required to go into debt to fulfill someone else’s princess wedding fantasy.”
“Her husband is out of a JOB. Dreaming time is over, she needs to wake up and face reality.”
“Reality is – she can’t afford it.”- pfashby.
“Of course you’re NTA.”
“I’m talking about $2500.”
“I swear some people completely lose their minds when it comes to their wedding.”
“I have a friend who went into serious debt for hers and it took her three years to pay it off.”
“Three fucking years of debt for a single day.’
“It just blows my mind.”
“Your sister needs to pull her head out of her a** and look for a new venue that she can afford, but she won’t, so you did the only reasonable thing in this situation.”
“What do your parents and the other bridal party members think of it?”-ImStealingTheTowels.
“Don’t think anything else needs to be said.”- jimmap.
“Never light yourself on fire to keep someone else warm.”
“How can she be this entitled?”
“NTA tell her if she wants to get married there because a film star did she needs to get on a film star’s salary or rein in her expectations.”-TCGislife.
“NTA It is HER wedding, she needs to figure out how to pay for it.”
“Occasionally PARENTS help, but if they are not in a position to do so, then it is up to the two people getting married to figure out their own finances and not put the burden on to their wedding party.”
“Your sister has unrealistic expectations for her wedding and needs a reality check.”
“Don’t blame you for backing out at al!”- Manviln.
“The nerve to ask for your Bridal party to pay instead of the Groom getting another job to pay for it and postponing it till they can afford it.”
“My dream is to get a Unimog EarthCruiser but, you know, $370,000.”-Intermanaut.
“The wedding industrial complex is out of f’ing control.”
“You’re already in 1500 bucks out of pocket just for bridesmaid things?”
“That is nuts.”
“I don’t blame you at all.”
“Your sister is being ridiculous.”-Seemoreifsandsorbuts.
“It doesn’t need to he expensive for it to be sentimental.”
“She’s confusing the two.”
“She’s also delusional if she thinks this is worth going into debt on.”-Luvs2PWGE.
“Thousands a month??”
“They need to postpone the wedding.”
“No one can afford that.”
“NTA your sister should be more concerned about a dream marriage than a dream wedding.”
“2 very different things.”-jocoreddit.
“Can someone explain this to me why they are making monthly payments for the venue when the wedding is only one night?”-Shils1234.
“NTA and you have to protect yourself from her.”
“She sounds like a nightmare.”- kn0tkn0wn.
“This is totally an unacceptable expectation to put in your wedding party.”
“I would find it hard to believe the rest of the wedding party is ok with this.”
“I am guessing your sister would not be willing to take out a loan for ‘her dream’.”-ViewParticular6611.
“NTA how delusional is she?”
“Tell her to get her damn head out of the clouds and if she wants it so bad she should go into debt or get a second or third job, but it’s not your problem.”
“Good on you for backing the f*ck out, I’m sure others will follow your lead.”-Respoken_text.
“It’s unfortunate that your BIL-to-be lost his job, but if that is the case, then they need to cut down what they can spend.”
“If that means a smaller and more intimate wedding, then that’s what needs to happen.”
“They can always do a more official/extravagant wedding when they have the means to.”
“Having people pay thousands of dollars for your dream wedding is unacceptable and an AH thing to do, especially when almost demanding it.”
“You have already done more than your part to help and your sister has to learn to be grateful and stop acting so ungrateful and learn to make compromises.”-Chewbarkovvv.
Having your bridal party help pay for your venue is certainly a new one.
But one imagines it won’t be a trend that catches on.
Should the remainder of the bridesmaids agree to help pay for the venue, the OP’s sister should consider themselves very lucky indeed.