As they say, sharing is caring.
Indeed, most people are raised with the belief that it is only polite to share things with others.
But sharing is a kindness, not necessarily an obligation.
After all, not everyone is entitled to all our things.
Particularly things that are very valuable to us, or things we won or earned.
Redditor
Outside_Locksmith754 and his girlfriend divided up their shared expenses less than equitably.
With the original poster (OP) covering the majority of things.
However, when the OP recently came into some good luck, his girlfriend felt that she was entitled to an equal share of his earnings.
Which the OP wasted no time in flatly refusing.
Wondering if he was being unreasonable, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**Hole" (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditors:
"AITA for refusing to split a $500 raffle winnings with my gf?"
The OP explained how his winning a raffle resulted in some animosity between him and his girlfriend:"My girlfriend (22 F[emale]) and I (22 M[ale]) of 1.5 years are on vacation with my family and we go to a cornhole tournament with my cousin." "At the event there are a few raffle boards where you can buy a square for $10 a square and the winners can get various prizes." "I bought 1 square on 3 different boards for $30 total, and I let my gf pick the spots were she would write down my name." "Time goes on and somehow I end up winning the $500 board." "To give some background in our relationship I pay for 80% of the expenses in our relationship, ie. going out to dinner, activities ect. and she then pays for the other 20%." "However, when she pays she uses her parents credit card and not her own money because her parents can afford to do so and she is a college student." "Then after I go up to collect my money my gf says 'oh so were going to split that 50/50 right?'" "To which I respond 'umm no I don't think so'." "She then continues on to ask me to buy her new shoes or new jeans with the money that I won, then finally she says that I should put the money in an account for an engagement ring." "I again refuse to do any of those things and respond with telling her that I will pay for the drinks and food for the night, then take her out to dinner a different night." "I also have to add that almost every time that I 'gamble', ie. buy 50/50 raffle tickets, play slots, sports bet, ect." "She responds with something along the lines of 'you shouldn't be wasting your money on that you should be saving up for a ring'." "It seemed kind of cliché to me that when I win money from 'gambling' she wants 50% of it but when I lose money she says how I shouldn't be wasting my money.""AITA?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
While the Reddit community was somewhat divided, they generally agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for not sharing his raffle winnings with his girlfriend.
Many felt that the OP's resistance to share his winnings was more than justified, as he paid for the raffle tickets and he contributed more to their relationship, even if some felt that the OP needed to seriously reevaluate his relationship:"22 yo, 1.5 years together and she’s pressing you hard about getting married?" "It doesn’t seem like you’re up for that." "Maybe you need to have a deeper discussion about your relationship." "NTA."- Click_To_Submit
"You paid for the chances for the raffle, you get the winnings." "She's fine with you spending your money on her, but doesn't want you to spend it on fun things for yourself?" "That tells me that she thinks YOUR money is HER money." "NTA."- mdthomas
"NTA." "There is no part of this story where she contributes 50% in her time, effort or funds." "That being said.... Dude you two need to have a serious discussion about finances if you are considering proposing, this does not sound like a short term issue but a way of life."- catskilkid
"NTA." "You’re not married." "She didn’t wager anything she shouldn’t reap the rewards." "You might want to sit down and seriously consider if this is the woman you want to waste anymore of your time with, if you find this annoying now wait until you’re married." "Your money will be her money and her money will be her money." "Also since she’s concerned about you saving money for a ring for her ask her how much she’s saved for your ring."- AgreeableDivide7484
"NTA." "Too many have this ‘what’s yours is ours and what’s mine is mine’ attitude."- BathInternational103
"So your choices are to spend money on her, give her half the money, or save it for a ring for her?" "What are the choices where you benefit from the outcome of your gamble?" "I’m with you, paying for drinks for the night and a decent dinner date is more than enough consideration." "NTA."- ClimbaClimbaCameleon
"NTA." "She is getting the money." "You're spending it on dinner and drinks that she's getting." "She wants the cash and you to pay for everything." "Pfft."- Tally0987654321
"NTA." "My gf know that when we go out gambling I front the $ and I get all the winnings." "She’s got no complaints." "She knows it’ll get spent on her in one form or another eventually."- Immediate_Fortune_91
"NTA ." "Be more discreet next time."- Only-Condition-8225
"NTA." "However if you were going to share you should keep 80% and give the remaining 20% to her parents, that seems to be how the bills are split."- newprairiegirl
"NTA." "Get rid of her."- EyezLo
"Subtle little thing, isn't she?" "NTA."- reduff
"NTA." "Can I ask if the roles were reversed would she give you half?"- Pleasant-Squirrel220
"NTA." "But you are for carrying on with this needlessly dependent woman."-Time-Tie-231
"NTA." "But you need to decide if you are gonna marry this girl or not man that’s a long time she’s clearly pissed about it."- flippityflop2121
"No matter how you got the money, it is YOUR money, not hers." "It is up to YOU what you do with that money." "Don’t wanna split it 50/50?" "That’s great!" "Do what you want with it." "It’s not up to her, it’s up to you." "Also pressing for marriage at 22?" "Hell I’m 22 and I don’t even know what I’m doing in life still." "NTA."- No_Butterfly_820
"NTA." "Your girlfriend's money demands are troubling." "She is your gf, not your wife, not even your fiancée." "You need to think long and hard about this relationship." "However, I will say that as a boyfriend, after winning $500, it would be normal and appropriate to do something that is mutually enjoyable with some of the money, like going out for a nice dinner, or buying her a small gift." "However, you are under no obligation to split the winnings wtih her."- jindoowner
"She's only in this for the money." "Run, dude." "NTA."- Weird-Roll6265
"NTA." "And also WTF."- a**houlio
"NTA." "The constant ring comments would make me want to leave."- cats4life100
"NTA." "Tell her you are going to put the full $500 in a fund towards the legal fees for your prenuptial agreement." "Your gonna need to spend at least as much on that as you do on the engagement ring."- Nothing-Busy
Redditors could sympathize with the OP's girlfriend expecting at least a small portion of the earnings, even if they didn't feel the OP did anything wrong by keeping them all to himself:"I would split it with my boyfriend if he picked the winning numbers/placement.""But I'd like to think if I were seeing someone for 1.5 years, I would actually like them or would have just broken up by now.""NAH."- urgasmic
"NAH." "You won because she picked those spots." "She didn't put any money in so shouldn't EXPECT it, but you also only won money because she choose the spots." "Should buy a nice treat for both of you with the money, like a nice outing you wouldn't normally go one."- Sweetcilantro
While a few had trouble sympathizing with the OP, feeling he knew that this relationship is on borrowed time while his girlfriend clearly has very different expectations, and thus was dragging her along:"I don't think you really like your girlfriend." "Are you sure you're not just stringing her along out of habit?" "Soft YTA for the situation you describe." "She was involved in picking the winning board, so some share of the money would have been generous." "And if you're not going to be generous to your girlfriend... well, see my opening line."- AmbientApe
Even if the OP's girlfriend chose where to put his raffle tickets, the OP was the one paying for them.
Technically, this makes him the one entitled to the winnings. However, not sharing their winnings is the very least of the OP's current relationship problems.
Which need to be addressed in a serious conversation about their future together.
