Being a good friend means not taking advantage of other’s mistakes. I feel like I shouldn’t have to explain that.
People’s relationships are more important than winning a tiny bit of money.
Redditor NightTrain915 encountered an issue with her friend. So she turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for moral judgment.
She asked:
“AITA for refusing to give back a book owner sold by mistake after I purchased it?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I (29f) am an avid buyer of sales and being part of different social media where people sell used items.”
“The old adage is ‘One man’s junk is another person’s treasure.'”
“A lady who is also a friend places 20 books for sale for $5.00. I immediately reply to the post to purchase the books, and pick up the books from my friend for $5.00.”
“Later that night, I receive a call from the lady that she accidentally sold her husband’s first edition ‘The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck’ 1st printing. She tells me her husband is livid and it is creating marital discord with their marriage.”
“I tell her that I will look into the situation and get back to her with an answer.”
“I explained the situation to my parents and they said under no circumstance do I return the book. ‘It is ethically and morally yours, and you have no obligation to return it.'”
“My husband disagreed with my parents and said it was an honest mistake and you will lose your friendship over $1000 book accidentally sold.”
“I subsequently took my parent’s advise, and kept the book, and she kept the $5.00.”
“AITA for not returning the book and losing the friendships?”
“She subsequently threw me off her WhatsApp group of items people are selling, and can no longer buy on that platform.”
Redditors gave their opinions on the situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors agreed OP was not the a**hole.
“YTA – You have every right to keep the book, but you’re still an a**hole for doing it. Your friend made a mistake and you took advantage of her.”
“You can be right and an asshole at the same time.” ~ BeepBlipBlapBloop
“Check her post history. OP you need to learn that as a married 29 year old that it’s not you and your parents anymore. It’s you your husband and you child. Please seek out a therapist before you alienate your husband and to find the root of your bizarre behaviors.” ~ friendlyfish29
“OP is consistently an a**hole. Goddamn, woman. Your moral code is all kinds of jacked up.” ~ aurumphallus
“I just read her other posts and, for someone that believes in ‘vibes, energy, and karma’ she sure is hellbent on working up some bad karma for herself with this behavior.”
“Hey OP – the bad energy you’re sensing is you. You’re the bad energy. And also YTA.” ~ Elsewhere33
“I didn’t have to check her post history to tell that. Even here she sought her parents’ advise before talking to her husband. I had just assumed they were her closest relationship until I finished that sentence.” ~ MarlonRando55
“TBH OP may not even have the right to keep the book, since it’s the property of the husband and not the wife, so the wife had no right to sell it. If the husband wants he could probably take OP to small claims and win.”
“Either way, OP is definitely YTA” ~ grumpypusheen
OP’s friend made an honest mistake.
“I’m just hopping onto your comment to say that if this book is also first printing, that puts the value upwards of around $1200 USD.”
“If it is an illustrated version, we’re talking potentially $5000 plus. I’m not a Steinbeck gal, but from taking a peek it also seems that certain rare editions can go for upwards of $10,000 depending on condition.” ~ kittydeathdrop
“Technically she doesn’t have ‘every right.’ If the owner of the book was mad enough he could report it stolen and then OP is in possession of stolen property. Since OP knows it was taken without permission that could put them in hot water. OP is definitely the asshole and may not have ‘every right’ as you suggest.” ~ TheMysticalBaconTree
“It’s muddy waters depending on the state, being married gives joint possession.” ~ sunshineANDrainbowsg
“Yeah this is a super complex legal topic. There are often exceptions that can be made even in jurisdictions where the law appears to be firmly on one side or the other if you know the technicalities of local case law.”
“However, there are probably no jurisdictions where the judge would neglect to inform the OP that they are YTA before ruling on the case.” ~ TheBabyEatingDingo
OP should return the book.
“YTA. It wasn’t even her book to sell. Your parents are greedy AF, btw.” ~ better_IRL_I_swear
“Remember, the parents told the daughter ‘it is ETHICALLY and MORALLY yours.'”
“I’m not sure what kind of moral compass they have or they use a totally different dictionary to look up what ethically and morally mean. Legally, yes. Ethically and morally, no.” ~ charliesk9unit
“They also went to OPs daughters daycare to demand refund for a month after several days due to a failed (and corrected) inspection despite contract explicitly stating nonrefundable and it being common for daycares to never refund due to the nature of their business.” ~ MissElision
“YTA. you are a MAJOR AH. This was a mistake, one she quickly tried to rectify. You got TWENTY books for $5. You’re already coming out on top of this. The book clearly means a lot to her husband, and the fact that she TOLD you this is causing a problem in her marriage and don’t care speaks volumes about you.”
“People make mistakes. What you’re doing is intentionally being obtuse. There’s no way you DONT know you’re the AH here. Your parents gave you really bad, selfish advice tbh. Put yourself in her shoes, how would you feel if you accidentally gave away something of importance to your husband, he got incredibly upset with you and lost trust in you, and when you attempted to get it back you were told ‘nah, it’s mine now?'”
“EDIT: I didn’t read her other posts before I left my judgement. Clearly putting herself in those shoes won’t be effective. Hopefully her self proclaimed belief in Karma will?” ~ justlemmeread
OP should put herself in her friend’s shoes.