Woman Breaks Up With Boyfriend After He Questions Their Relationship During Friend's Wedding

There's a time and a place for everything.

But the middle of someone else's wedding is rarely the right time or the right place to address anything that isn't about the actual wedding. Like, ever.

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Just don't do it.

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A woman turned to the "Am I The A**Hole" (AITAH) subReddit for feedback after her boyfriend decided her friend's wedding was the perfect venue for a relationship review.

Similar to AITA, the AITAH subReddit allows posters to ask for advice and post about ending romantic relationships—like this post. However there are no official voting acronyms and no final judgment given.

CarelessBuddy8530 asked:

"AITAH for breaking up with my boyfriend after he did something weird at my best friend's wedding?"

The original poster (OP) explained:

"So, this is a bit of a mess, and I'm honestly torn about whether I did the right thing. Here's the situation:"

"I (27, female) have been with my boyfriend, Mark (29, male), for about three years. We've had our ups and downs, but I thought we were in a really good place."

"Recently, my best friend, Rachel (28, female), got married, and I was her maid-of-honor. It was a huge deal for her, and I was super excited to be by her side."

"The wedding was beautiful, everything went smoothly, and Mark was with me as my plus-one. We were having a great time dancing, laughing, just enjoying the night."

"But then, during the reception, Mark did something completely unexpected. So, Rachel and her new husband were dancing their first dance, and Mark was acting kind of off, which I chalked up to him just being nervous."

"Then, out of nowhere, he pulls me aside and says he wants to 'talk' to me privately. We step out to a quieter area, and he's suddenly telling me that he doesn't feel 'ready for this kind of commitment'."

"Like, we've been talking about getting engaged for a while, and I was under the impression we were on the same page, but now he's telling me that he doesn't think he's ready for marriage right there, at my best friend's wedding."

"I try to stay calm and ask him what he's talking about, and he says it's not just about me, but that he's not sure about the whole 'forever' thing. He's just 'having doubts' in general. This was coming out of nowhere, and I was shocked."

"I told him I needed some space and walked back inside to be with my friends. I honestly just felt embarrassed at that point."

"It wasn't the right time or place for that conversation, and it really put a damper on the night. Later on, I tried to talk to him about it again, but he kind of just brushed it off, saying it wasn't a big deal and that he'd 'sort himself out'."

"Long story short, after thinking about it for a few days, I ended things with him. I told him that if he wasn't sure about us, I couldn't keep putting myself in a situation where I'm always uncertain of where we stand."

"Now, some of my friends are telling me I overreacted, that maybe he just got caught up in the moment or was feeling anxious about the future."

"But I don't know, this felt like a huge red flag for me."

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"It wasn't just the timing, but the fact that he had doubts that he didn't bring up until then."

"So, AITA for ending things after that?"

Some Redditors still weighed in by using the voting acronyms from AITA:

• NTA - Not The A**hole
• YTA - You're The A**hole
• NAH - No A**holes Here
• ESH - Everyone Sucks Here

Redditors decided the OP was not at fault or not the a**hole (NTA).

"NTA. He told you to your face... You are not his one person. Believe him and go find someone that needs you as much as you need them."

"The time for personal conversations was on a different day. Not during the wedding." ~ thequiethunter

"Him pulling her out at the wedding to talk about anything besides an emergency is messed up. Sounds like he's a person that makes everything about him."

"The conversation could have waited, but he doesn't care about OP missing parts of the wedding and focusing on that. Reason enough to break up and content of the conversation makes it worse." ~ herroyalsadness

"I stopped taking dates to weddings, instead prefer bringing a friend who just genuinely wants to have fun. Men get SO WEIRD at weddings, it shorts their brain or something?"

"I've been to at least four that were ruined by a boyfriend, totally out of character behavior every time, but a real mask off moment for each."

"The day is never about the guests and carefree nights with friends are precious, should never be wasted on a petty argument." ~ _kismitten

"This makes me think of the wedding I attended as a plus one when I was like 18 years old. My date got kinda weird and didn't want to dance or anything, so I spent the whole wedding dancing with his grandpa!"

"I ended up having a fantastic time, but that was how I learned not to be a wedding date with a guy you aren't serious about." ~ Reflection_Secure

"Honestly, sounds like taking a boyfriend as a date to a wedding is a good test. Better to see the mask off while they're still a boyfriend. Of course, I also get not wanting to have a joyous experience spoiled." ~ SwimmingCoyote

"Yup. He did that to humiliate and wrong foot her. OP is better off without him. He disrespected her by bringing this up at the wedding and while she's having a good time."

"Who does that? An arsehole. That's who. Her hopefully ex-boyfriend is an a**hole and not a minute should be wasted on him." ~ sikonat

"Well, I know my wife and I had a lot of our big relationship conversations at and after weddings we attended… but in our case, it was about how much we wanted to be together and build a life together."

"Weddings will often make you think about your own relationship. If your relationship is good, it will make you think about wanting to get married… if it is bad, it will make you want to break up."

"OP should listen to her partner's wedding freak out and not his backtracking, this relationship is doomed." ~ cortesoft

"Right. Feel the anxiety, go to the bathroom or whatever and take a moment to yourself to process it. Then go back out there and don't ruin the day."

"Have the conversation if you still feel like that the next day or whatever."

"But if it was SO PRESSING that he absolutely didn't want to marry her, that he had to bring it up right f*cking then and there… def not the right person to be with."

"I imagine he's actually thankful for the breakup. He triggered it himself, rather intentionally. NTA." ~ rratmannnn

"Smells like he told her at the wedding so she wouldn't «make a scene». NTA." ~ ferromagnetics

"The media has lied to us about what love looks like. Nobody "needs" another person unless they have codependency issues."

"Find someone that wants you as much as you want them. Someone who knows that they are free to choose anything and still chooses you."

"Someone who is with you not because they feel like they have to be but because they know that both your lives are better when you're together than they would be separately."

"This is what real love looks like!" ~ SeePerspectives

"NTA. Obviously this was something he felt strongly about to pull you aside in the middle of a wedding like that. That would make anybody uncertain of a future with him." ~ lmchatterbox

"I think he's in the room full of people discussing commitment and forever and he's not feeling it. I had an ex-boyfriend who I knew I couldn't marry, like I really couldn't see us getting married."

"He was very wish-washy and he would say he wanted to do this or that and never make any plans or even see how to get there. It was never going to happen. But I wouldn't have told him that at my best friends wedding." ~ ClaudiaTale

"It's sort of like when someone wants to break up with their partner but they have a vacation coming up. Some people will wait until after so as not to 'spoil' the trip, but many would argue that the trip will be retroactively spoiled anyways."

"But basically, no one would say to break up with someone mid-trip. It's just selfish. You made a mistake by not doing this sooner, and now you can't just wait a day to do it at a time and place where the person can be comfortable?

"Dude shouldn't have talked to you at the wedding, but at least now you know. Good riddance." ~ CrazyCalYa

"He did you a favor. You're entering an exciting time in your life, your 30s are going to be a blast."

"Now you can have a chance to find your person. Relationships ALL have their ups and downs, but both people need to be working towards the same general goals. You're not. Your person is out there!" ~ Pretty_Belt3490

Sometimes you just have to follow your instincts so you don't mistake Mr. Right for Mr. Right Now.