Remembering names is not always as easy as we want it to be.
Sometimes, if we mistakenly call someone by a name similar to theirs, such as calling a “Tim” “Tom”, or vice versa, we might have trouble shaking that.
Or, someone bears a more than striking resemblance to someone else that we know, we might find ourselves constantly addressing them by that person’s name.
A recent Redditor found herself constantly being called the wrong name by her boyfriend’s brother.
In this case, however, the original poster (OP) did not think that she did so out of confusion, but rather purely out of malice
This eventually led the OP to hatch a plan to ensure she would never be called the wrong name again by anyone in her boyfriend’s family.
A plan which no one took kindly to at all.
Wondering if she had gone too far, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for ruining thanksgiving?”
The OP shared how after being called the wrong name by her boyfriend’s mother one too many times, she finally felt the need to exact revenge.
“I (30 F[emale]) met my boyfriend (BF) (30 M[ale]) 3 years ago.”
“Before me he was together with his HS sweetheart.”
“They fell out of love and broke up.”
“A year later we started dating.”
“His mom however was still heartbroken about it.”
“I was very understanding and thought she needed time to get to know me.”
“The ex basically grew up with them and they saw her as a part of the family.”
“For the first year of my relationship his mom would call me ex’s name, until bf got angry once and told her to be nice.”
“She laughed it off and said it was just a habit.”
“After that she started calling me the wrong name.”
“Janet instead of Jenny, fictional names just for the story.”
“I corrected her a couple of times but she seemed to like hurting me so I ignored it later.”
“My BF has two sisters and a couple of weeks before thanksgiving we were invited to bbq at the older sister’s house.”
“I was in the kitchen with my BF’s mom, the sisters and one of their husbands.”
“The older sister then talked about how my BF praised my cooking to her husband and the mom was listening.”
“She then said out loud ‘SURE! Why don’t we let Janet make the turkey this year?’.”
“The sisters giggled and looked at each other and I said ‘thats a great idea!'”
“I didn’t tell my bf what happened.”
“On thanksgiving we went to his mom’s house with the usual wine and dessert.”
“She was shocked, everybody was shocked.”
“I said ‘What? I thought Janet is bringing the turkey!'”
“There was yelling, crying and then we got kicked out.”
“My bf is so angry with me he hasn’t talked to me since.”
“I think it’s over to be honest.”
“But I still don’t think I did anything wrong!”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community mostly agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for not bringing the Turkey, as she was not instructed to do so.
Nearly everyone agreed that the OP’s revenge was just what their boyfriend’s mother deserved, as she seemed to be clearly going out of her way to hurt the OP’s feelings, with many also pointing out how the OP’s boyfriend should have stood up for her more than he did.
“Your BFs mom is clearly trying to sabotage your relationship.”
“Your BF needs to stand up for you and put a stop to it immediately.”
“As for the turkey, again, that’s ridiculous and they knew exactly what they were doing causing that drama.”- mojo4394
“Correct me if I’m wrong, but there is no ‘Janet’ in the family.”
“They delegated the turkey to a fictional name that they made up to get under your skin.”
“Turnabout is fair play.”
“Had they respected you and called you by your given name I’m certain that they would have gotten their turkey.”
“They’re just mad because their pettiness came back to bite them on the a**.”
“You said that you didn’t tell your bf what happened.”
“Is he aware of the fact that his mother can’t get your name right?”
“You’ve been together two years, and his mother *still* can’t get your name right?”
“He allows this?”
“If so, then it may be time to rethink this relationship.”
“You won’t get any respect from his family if he tolerates their disrespect, and, in turn, disrespects you because he refuses to confront the issue with his mom.”- Pennsatucky2017
“This family sounds like absolute nightmare fuel.”
“If my future partner’s mother tried to alienate me any chance she got I would have had the same reaction.”
“There’s only so much hatefulness a person can take.”
“I genuinely feel so sorry for you in having to go through that, it must hurt a lot.”
“Your boyfriend should have had a sit down talk with her ages ago about boundaries and being kind to you, which shouldn’t even have to happen in a relationship.”
“I’m glad you stuck up for yourself and made her feel like an idiot because she is one.”
“Your boyfriend should have stuck up for you anyhow considering it’s out of your hands to be respected.”-puppiebite
“She has been rude and disrespectful to you.”
“It’s understandable she misses the ex, but you didn’t so anything wrong.”
“So you threw her bad behavior back in her face.”
“She had it coming.”
“Your BF is TA.”
“He should have been more supportive and defended you”
“. He should never have let it get this far.”
“If it is over, then maybe you’re better off.”- MerlinBiggs
“I think it drove the point home.’
“Your boyfriend should have been sticking up for you more but this was a good final f*ck you.”-ElectronicAmphibian7
“How much actual discussion was there about you/Janet bringing the turkey?”
“Either way this is hilarious and you’re awesome, but in your post it sounds like it was maybe a casual comment and not too serious.”
“I’d expect more actual discussion/checking if they really wanted you to bring the turkey than just a flippant remark.”
“But his family sounds horrible so maybe they aren’t very logical.”- Deadpoolsdildo
“I mean, they’re the ones who decided to get petty and call you by another name, sucks for them that it backfired.”
“It wasn’t a shit show until the mother chose to make it a sh*t show.”
“She too could have laughed it off, but instead she KICKED YOU OUT OF HER HOUSE ON THANKSGIVING.”
“This is the part of this story that truly baffles me.”
“That she, a grown woman, told you you were not welcome in her home because you didn’t bring a turkey.”
“And that your boyfriend didn’t put his foot down and did not say ‘We are not leaving. We are going to have Thanksgiving together as a family, we are going enjoy all the other food, we’re gonna be civil to each other, and you are going to stop disrespecting my girlfriend by calling her the wrong name’.”
“The turkey was important enough that she kicked you out for not bringing it.”
“But it was not important enough for the mom to send you a follow-up text confirming plans for Thanksgiving?”
“Clearly she relished the opportunity to kick you out of her house on Thanksgiving.”
“Please get away from this family ASAP.”- MuricanIdle
While there were a select few who felt that the OP was actually the a**hole for feeling the need to take on revenge, they still applauded her for doing so.
“I don’t know if you’re the AH but I applaud your doings and wouldn’t want you to have done anything different.”- empresslilandra
“You’re my favorite a**hole for this.”
“My absolute hero.”- Shebalba64205
“Maybe you were an a**hole, but it was so worth it, I’m voting NTA.”
“I wish I could have seen the looks on their faces when you said ‘I thought you said Janet was bringing the turkey!'”
“And they, including your boyfriend, are totally the a**holes for making Thanksgiving all about turkey.”
“In my family, at any rate, there are so many appetizers and side dishes, not to mention desserts, that I don’t think anyone would even notice that the turkey was missing.”
“Of course, your BF’s mom is an a**hole for continuing to call you by the wrong name.”
“But your BF is worse, really, for allowing it to happen.”
“He should have ‘put his foot down’ ages ago.”
“So, tell your boyfriend to go back to his ex., find a new one, with a better sense of humor to match your own, who has your back, and be happy that you dodged a bullet!”- SamSpayedPI
If the mother of the OP’s boyfriend did want to welcome her into their family, then one would imagine she would have at least shown a small amount of repentance for her ongoing mistake.
Leading one to imagine that even if the OP had arrived with a Turkey, she still would have gained no points with her boyfriend’s mother.
If this unfortunate situation did mark the end of her relationship, one hopes the family of her next boyfriend will welcome her with open arms and love her just as she is.