When we look at a family in public, we like to think that everything is okay at home and that it’s a house full of love.
But sometimes that isn’t the reality of the situation, admitted the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
Redditor Firm_Classic2903 was thrown out on his eighteenth birthday by parents who had been planning to throw him out for months.
But they were furious when the Original Poster (OP) was honest about being thrown out.
He asked the sub:
“AITA for telling my grandparents and relatives that I didn’t move out for college, but I instead moved out as I got kicked out when I turned 18?”
The OP knew his parents were going to kick him out.
“I’m 18 Male. A few weeks ago, it was my birthday. I turned 18.”
“As soon as I turned 18, at 12:00AM while I was sleeping in my room, my dad knocked on the door and turned the lights on.”
“He pulled my blanket off and told me, ‘Get up and get out of my house. You are 18 now.'”
“I already knew I was going to be kicked out at 18 as my mom/dad often mentioned to me in the house, ‘When you’re 18, you’re outta the house,’ or they’d say something like, ‘I can’t wait till your mother and I get some alone/quiet time when you leave this house at 18.'”
He didn’t anticipate being kicked out the moment he turned 18, however.
“They already had plans to kick me out before anyways so I already knew it.”
“But I wasn’t worried as I have a good/decent savings amount of $5K USD I earned from freelancing on the side.”
“Ever since I turned 18, I’ve been making a decent income as well off that, and I am doing it full-time right now. I can afford an apartment in my area, and essentials and some nice stuff as well.”
“So that day I got kicked out, I packed all my stuff in a suitcase. I left. I slept the night at my best friend’s house.”
“I woke up and the same day, I arranged an apartment thru a landlord I know personally.”
“Now I have my own apartment, and I’m living by myself.”
The truth came out during a family call.
“Today I had a Group FaceTime call where my grandparents, aunt, uncle, mom, dad, etc., were all in the FaceTime call.”
“My grandpa asked, ‘So OP, your father told me you moved out, right, to attend college? Which college are you attending?'”
“I told my grandpa, ‘No grandpa, I didn’t move out to attend college, I moved out because I was kicked out.'”
“My grandpa’s face immediately turned from a happy, smiling face to an angry shocked face and he basically ‘went off’ on my mom and dad.”
“The man said cuss words I have never heard of before, and he scolded my parents for 2 hours live on FaceTime with all of our relatives on the Group FaceTime call.”
The OP’s parents lashed out at him.
“After the Group FaceTime ended, my mom/dad gave me a call personally and they were p**sed.”
“They said, ‘Never before has your grandpa insulted us. Today he did because of you, a**hole, cuss word, cuss word,’ and some more cuss words, and they finally end the call.”
“So AITA for telling my grandparents that I got kicked out?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some knew the parents would wonder at some point why their son went no-contact.
“They can never get it through their heads that the reason is because they are horrible people and no sane person would stay in contact with them if given the choice.” – blackcat218
“Sounds like these parents are also gonna wonder why grandpa went no contact and cut them out of the will. And they f**king deserve it.” – maxpower7833
“Now you have place on your own, please go NC (no contact) with your parents. You deserve that ‘alone/quiet time when you ‘leave’ the house at 18.'” – gurnipan
“It’s like an extra heaping of a**hole on top of the a**hole behaviour. Did dad stay up watching the clock with excitement till it ticked over to midnight?”
“I can’t believe how petty you’ve got to be to kick your kid out seconds into his 18th birthday. Like, you can’t wish him a happy birthday and give him a nice breakfast first?” – fiery_valkyrie
“Most tough to parent children I’ve met weren’t mature enough to set aside a few K in savings and befriended landlords to get a place to stay because their parent’s threat to kick them out at 18 wasn’t an empty one.”
“More likely the kid started to have none of their BS as a teen and the parents hated to have someone they couldn’t bully around.”
“The way OP honestly tells grandpa is a testament to him not having their BS.”
“OP was prepared, and left without a fight, at an age most aren’t prepared and will figh to stay because they have nowhere else to go. that tells a lot about the toxic dynamic that this family has.”
“Be your own person OP. And go hang out woth your grandfather. He seems more decent than your parents.” – Gunjaeroth
Others hoped the grandfather would become more involved after knowing the truth.
“I wonder if OP is able to show grandpa the facetime call he got after. I can’t imagine how disappointed grandpa must be in his child and in-law to do that to his grandchild. NTA.” – RedditKantiar
“If he were my grandchild I would (if feasable) take him in, he may have been thrown out by his parents but I as grandma would never do that. I would also have screamed at his parents, seriously what kind of self centered jerks are those people??”
“I told my youngest son half jokingly that if he was paying rent, he could stay with us forever. He knows I was half kidding but seriously, if he needs a place to stay my door is open. I’ve already got a lifer with his severely autistic brother who will never be able to live alone.” – Mommato3boys66
“OP, your grandfather is the best! It seems that you’re more like your grandfather than your father.”
“Depending where you live your parents have to support you until you finish your education.” – nixalsverdruss
“Dude literally thought that the grandparents wouldn’t contact OP? If you make an outstanding lie like your son moving for college they are going to take to the kid. Either to congratulate them or check up on them.”
“Only thing I am curious of is how quick OP moved into an apartment. That said… if OP prepared months in advance, and has been in contact with this landlord even while he was staying with his parents, then I could 100% see how this plays out. Smart kid.” – SegaNeptune28
“NTA. Who does this to their own child on their 18th birthday?”
“They lied because they knew how their actions would look to others. If they were embarrassed then they only have themselves to blame!”
“I’m glad you told your grandparents the truth and I’m soo sorry that your 18th was soo rubbish. Hopefully you can celebrate your birthday, as well as leaving your parents behind, with your friends soon (that’s if you havent already).” – Cry_Original
“I am a bit old school and I would handwrite and mail a letter to grandad to say thank you for his supporting words and saying things maybe OP did not feel comfortable expressing, even if they were mostly expletives.” – mines_over_yours
“OP should definitely show grandpa how much you appreciate him. He has your back (which is more than your parents do).”
“And well done. Sounds like you will make a success of your life despite them.” – bkitty273
“The absolute cheery on top would be if the grandpa cut them out of their will and left more to OP. I have heard of it happening before when a grandparent realizes how terrible their kids are treating their grandkids.” – DudeWithAHighKD
“You should contact your grandfather and apologise for making a scene. He’ll say it wasn’t your fault and that you did nothing wrong. You should follow this with, ‘Mum and Dad called me afterwards and cussed me out and told me I was wrong to make a scene’ (try to hold back tears). You can sit back with the popcorn and watch round two.”
“Sorry your parents are horrible as I’d be incredibly proud if my kid was as self sufficient as you and would do everything possible to support you and your growth. Hope you have a great birthday with people that value your worth.” – Cheeseburgers_
The subReddit was furious about this situation, but not because of what the OP did. He was simply honest about something that happened to him, and he never agreed to withhold that information on behalf of his parents.
Like the author Anne Lamott once said, if the parents wanted to be spoken well of, they should have treated their son better.