People with dietary restrictions often have trouble going out to dinner.
Even with more and more restaurants becoming more accommodating to people's allergies and beliefs, most restaurants still don't offer these people a wide range of choices.
Sometimes they might have to settle for the one dish they can eat, while other times there might not be something they can eat on the menu, resulting in their needing to make a special request to the kitchen.
Redditor Loquacious-Box8284 followed a strict diet which most restaurants in their hometown seldom accommodated.
As a result, the original poster (OP) took matters into their own hands for their sister's rehearsal dinner.
Resulting in a major inconvenience for the restaurant, and an unexpected surcharge for their parents.
Concerned they may have stepped out of line, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**hole" (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:
"AITA for lying about a food allergy?"
The OP explained the measures they took to ensure they would get a meal they could eat at their sister's rehearsal dinner, and all the trouble it caused.
"I’m vegan, have been for over 5 years."
"I’m lucky to live in a major city with a plethora of entirely or partially vegan restaurants."
"But, when I visit my family in rural Pennsylvania, my options become nonexistent."
"Attitudes toward veganism here range from ignorance to outright hostility."
"I try to avoid eating out with my family when I’m home, at ALL costs, but sometimes it simply isn’t avoidable."
"For example, my sister’s wedding rehearsal dinner."
"My sister had her dinner at the foremost 'fine dining' establishment in this town."
"It’s a big old tavern that bills itself as a 'French-influenced steakhouse'."
"Menu fare is every imaginable cut of steak drowned in butter, with some chicken and fish drowned in butter, plus sides of veggies and mashed potatoes that are, yes, smothered in butter."
"The one or two vegetarian dishes are buttered and drowned in creamy sauce."
"Given that my little brother used to wait tables here, I know that they frown upon substitutions and don’t use much veggie oil for the sake of 'quality'."
"I’ve had two negative experiences here, too."
"I tried to explain my vegan diet my first time here, in-depth, yet my sad little plate of steamed Broccoli was drizzled with butter and my iceberg lettuce salad came with ranch."
"The second time, a chef came out personally and promised me that his tomato pasta dish was vegan."
"Only for me to find that they’d swirled parmesan cheese into the red sauce to disguise that they’d accidentally sprinkled it on top."
"That incident broke my trust completely."
"For my sister’s dinner, I called ahead and told the chef that I have life-threatening food allergies to meat proteins, dairy, including butter, and egg."
"Finally, they took me seriously."
"I was served a dish of plain pasta with salt and pepper with fruit, which sucked but I appreciated the consideration."
"For those allergies, though, they had to scrub down the entire kitchen, clean the fryers, check the ingredient lists of their products, etc."
"That prep apparently cost them an extra 2 hours, and, I didn’t realize this, they charged my parents, who are paying for the rehearsal, an extra several hundred for their time."
"My sister and parents are LIVID."
"I already sent my mom the several hundred needed to cover the extra cost, but they’re upset at me for lying and humiliating the chef and restaurant, with whom they have close ties."
"My sister’s wedding is this weekend and something tells me that it’s gonna be tense."
"Personally, I think that if this restaurant is gonna continue with their ignorance and inconsideration, they got what they deserve."
"AITA for ensuring my needs are met?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The OP received little to no support from the Reddit community, who felt they were pretty clearly the a**hole for lying to the restaurant about having allergies.
Everyone agreed that there were several other ways the OP could have handled the situation, with many stressing that their lie undermines people who do actually suffer from life-threatening allergies.
"YTA."
"This sort of attitude is what makes many people hate vegans."
"It’s a steakhouse in an area where you admitted that veganism isn’t considered a big thing."
"They probably don’t have easy means to make a vegan meal and don’t get many requests like this."
"You even said when they tried it wasn’t that great."
"Since you’ve had previous issues with this place, you could have called them in advance and been really blunt about what you can/can’t eat, ask if they couldn’t accommodate you, or if you could bring your own food as this is for sister’s rehearsal dinner."
"Lying wasn’t the way to go about it."
"At all."- cpop616
"YTA."
"Bring your own food."
"This is not a vegan restaurant and you cannot expect a steakhouse to cater to vegan requirements, meanwhile now you've created more kitchen staff who won't take allergies seriously."- Fainora
"YTA for lying and for saying they got what they deserved."
"They are a steakhouse, not a vegan restaurant."
"Not every place is responsible for your dietary restrictions."- JudgyUnicorn
"YTA."
"People like you are why people with real, life-threatening food allergies aren't taken seriously."-Unique-Calligrapher8
"YTA."
"There are people with severe allergies and when people falsify allergies because of dietary preferences or dislikes, it makes it harder for people with legitimate allergies to be taken seriously."
"Also, if you can’t eat the food, just eat something beforehand or afterward, or skip the dinner and explain why."
"I’ve had to pack a protein bar to eat before at an event where I couldn’t eat the main course because of allergies."
"I made that choice though."
"Could I have skipped going?"
"Sure, but it was also a time to visit with some people I hadn’t seen in years and was happy to see, and it was one meal."
"Was easy enough to hit a drive-thru afterward."- shortnsweet33
"You could have just asked for a garden salad with dressing on the side."
"Jesus Christ, you give us vegans/vegetarians a bad name."
"YTA."- i_had_ice
There were a few, however, who while they didn't condone the OP's behavior, felt that it was wrong that the restaurant couldn't accommodate their vegan diet.
"There’s several other things you could’ve done rather than lying about having life-threatening allergies."
"Explained to your family that this particular restaurant has refused/intentionally ignored your dietary requests in the past and you won’t be going."
"Go anyways, but eat beforehand."
"Go and be insistent about your dietary restrictions and every time they do it wrong send it back."
"Every. Single. Time."
"Until they finally do it right."
"I’m sure there are plenty of other things you could’ve done, but the right option is never going to be 'lie about life-threatening food allergies'."
"My friend actually is deathly allergic to dairy."
"She’ll die even if her food is prepared on a station that had dairy on it previously and hasn’t been cleaned."
"And it’s people like you that make it so no one takes her seriously."
"It’s the same as people who put a vest on their dog and say it’s a service dog when it clearly isn’t"
"YTA for that."
"However I’m gonna say ESH cause the restaurant should’ve been able to accommodate you in the first place."
"It’s not that hard and they’re jerks for messing it up several times before, which caused you to lose trust and choose to lie about allergies."- Swampman5000
"YTA."
"Hi someone with an actual food allergy, lactose, and potentially gluten, please don’t use a condition that can and is life-threatening to make your life easier."
"Also their job 10X harder."
"The restaurant shouldn’t have lied but you shouldn’t have either."- Budget-Ad56
"Eh, I'm on the fence here."
"My partner has specific dietary needs due to a chronic illness but they would never lie to get their needs met."
"Especially knowing the way staff has to prep for certain things e.g. serious allergies."
"When her needs cannot be met, she works around it herself."
"It sucks but these things will not always be easy."
"But also the repercussions in this story were wild."
"The extra cost really should have been mentioned beforehand by the restaurant when you told them about the 'allergies'.- tnahrp
It must be frustrating, to say the least, for the OP to constantly have to search long and hard for food that aligns with their vegan diet.
Even if the restaurant should have likely had at least one vegan dish, the OP should have thought more carefully before telling them such a serious lie.
Regardless of whether or not they knew they would have to go to so much trouble.
One can only hope the OP won't make the same mistake at their sister's wedding.















Expectant Dad Of Two Livid After Brother Questions Why He'd Bring Another Kid Into Bleak World
It's no secret that a lot of people are struggling right now, from the cost of living to job insecurity to food insecurity to poor housing. But that doesn't mean we have to stop living.
For many people, that means still starting and growing their families, while planning how to navigate the world we're currently in, pointed out the members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subReddit.
Redditor DesignerOwn1141 and his wife knew that the world around them wasn't at its best right now, but they were eager to grow their family and were excited to bring a third child into the world.
When they announced their pregnancy, his brother's first reaction was to send him articles about how the world was doomed and shame him for bringing a child into it; the Original Poster (OP) wondered if he needed to block his own brother.
He asked the sub:
The OP and his wife were excited to welcome a third child into their family.
"I am 33 and male. My wife is 29."
"We have two sons, a six-year-old boy and a three-year-old boy. Both are happy, healthy, and well taken care of."
"We love being parents to them, and I work very hard to provide a good life for my family."
"My wife is four months pregnant with our third."
The OP's brother's life was very different from his.
"My younger brother has been something of a failure-to-launch case."
"Despite having every advantage, he never got good grades in school, was addicted to 'League of Legends' so severely that he barely scraped by, and spends his days streaming games to nearly no viewers on Twitch."
"I've watched his stream a few times, but he just rages constantly."
"My wife is too classy to ever say so, but I can tell he makes her uncomfortable."
"He's my brother, so I've long wanted to believe he's just bad at communicating with people, but to be frank, he's sort of just an a**hole. He's unapologetic whenever he says something hurtful and more likely to just double down and say, 'No cap.'"
"But if anyone so much as challenges his views, he throws a huge fit."
The OP tried to share his happy news with his brother, but his brother immediately squandered it.
"Recently, we announced she was pregnant with our third child. It's a joyous occasion for us because we wanted three children, and our other two sons are excited about having another brother or sister."
"When I texted my brother the news, he immediately said he couldn't imagine having children with the world the way it was."
"I asked what he meant, and he started sending me these articles about global warming, the plague in Russia, wars around the world, and so on."
"He seems convinced that the world is going to end in ten years tops, and that I'm only bringing up another child to die in the 'water wars.'"
"I was honestly disgusted with him. To tell someone that their unborn child is going to die, that their other children are going to die, is absolutely abhorrent behavior."
"But since he's always been a sensitive s**thead, I just said, 'Whatever, man,' and stopped reading his texts."
"He wouldn't stop. He kept sending me every doomer article. He said that when the clouds evaporate, the earth is going to get 15 degrees hotter. He said that AI is going to hack every government database. He said that China is going to invade Taiwan, and then it'll be war with the US and allies against Russia, China, North Korea, and Iran."
The OP had had enough of his brother's negative feedback.
"Finally, I just told him I was blocking him and thought little of the decision."
"He went and cried to our parents (again, he's the most sensitive s**tbag in the world), and they told me what I did was over the top."
"I know that if I unblock him, he's just going to doomspam me again."
"Am I wrong for just straight-up saying I never want him in my life again?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
Some reassured the OP that they understood why he felt the need to distance himself from his brother.
"NOR. He sounds insufferable."
"He sounds like one of those people who doesn't like his life and so wants everyone else to be miserable too, or makes excuses for why he didn't do more with his life by blaming his problems on some external crisis." - savingrain
"NOR. He's allowed to protect his peace, especially if his brother keeps ignoring boundaries and turning every conversation into another end-of-the-world prediction, and having kids is hardly a reason to apologize for trying to build a good life despite everything going on." - Upper-Cloud9097
"NOR. But your brother is on his way to a full mental breakdown. Send him back cute dog and cat videos. Cute horse videos. Ozzy animal voiceovers."
"Eventually his phone will start thinking he's like me and his feed will calm down." - Present_Original_797
"I mean, my beliefs and thoughts about the future are along the same lines as him, and that’s why I’m an anti-natalist, but there’s something called tact. And personal choice/autonomy."
"If someone chooses to have kids, that’s their choice, and I’d keep my opinions to myself and be supportive, especially if they’re a family member. Spreading doomer content is extremely insensitive and rude. NOR." - EngineerGold4242
"NOR: I wonder whether your brother is displaying sibling jealousy towards you and your family; he recognizes his own shortcomings and can see where he is in life compared to you, and that is his major issue."
"Days filled with unfulfilling computer games and doomspamming others, he has a lot of maturing to do. Block him until or unless he decides to join the adult world and be the uncle he is supposed to be." - iron_redditman
"NOR. I have all those fears and as such actively avoid news about them. I skipped whole paragraphs here for that reason too, lol."
"I’d definitely block my sibling or anybody else who did that to me. I already know all these things; I don’t need constant reminders. All I can do is work on improving my little corner of the world and trudge forward."
"Anyway, protect your peace." - hahagato
"You are not obligated to bond with someone just because you share blood. It’s your peace and your family that you need to protect now. If you decide to go zero contact, it’s perfectly okay!"
"Especially because you and your wife are in charge of two, almost three, little guys, and your mental peace affect directly to them."
"PS. Historically, the world has always been on the edge, but nothing stops us to be what we are, humans trying to get over all the s**t! So don’t let those bad things put you down. We can build a better world by raising kind, lovely people, and it seems you and your wife are doing it. Good luck!" - Camigatoespinace92
Others advised the OP to involve his parents in case they could help his brother.
"Unblock him and then send everything he texts you to both mom and dad. No comments, just forward it."
"They'll think you're sending it, and when they complain, you can tell them that you thought they'd be interested in your brother's articles as well."
"NOR." - No_Address687
"NOR. Your parents don't know the half of it. Forward everything and let them read it for themselves." - Available_Agent3305
"NOR. I’d keep him blocked; your parents are wrong. If you want to be petty, start sending your parents article after article of stuff you know they won’t like. They will get the hint soon enough." - OldieButNotMoldy
"I would also go low contact with the OP's parents. OP is clearly NOT the favorite son. Any boundaries he put up with his brother will be considered wrong. NOR." - Interesting_Novel997
"NOR, but also my first reaction is that your brother isn't a 'sensitive s**tbag,' he is struggling with anxiety/depression and maybe undiagnosed neurodivergence and is drowning in his own ruminations. None of that makes this an appropriate response to a pregnancy announcement; it's clearly not. But he sounds like someone who is clearly struggling here."
"If it were me, I'd be sending your parents anything he previously sent you. If they share your concern after reading a few articles, maybe they'll take steps to help him." - 2kidsnomoney---
"NOR. I'm sorry to say this, OP, but your brother has not been socialized normally. He is a chronically online loser who thinks he can do and say whatever he wants and does not understand there are no consequences because there are often no consequences when he does it in a league match or online."
"It frankly sounds like your concern for him and his future is budding into resentment and contempt, and I feel like, as most brothers would, those are not the feelings you want to hold towards him."
"I have a brother like this. He was diagnosed as an adult with Asperger’s and now just a spectrum autism diagnosis, but he’s a real a**."
"You may have to unblock him to communicate fairly. It may be worth doing this in person because it’s easier for the chronically online to 'craft' their retort rather than be a part of a conversation."
"Before you can do that, though, you need to sit down with your parents. You need to explain and be able to articulate that:"
"1. His reaction to the wonderful news of you having another child crossed the line and was inappropriate."
"2. There need to be reasonable consequences or boundaries because you are no longer willing to put up with that."
"3. It is his call at this point whether or not he wants to be in your life and your children’s lives."
"You have to have their buy-in; otherwise they are just going to continue to coddle and enable this behavior."
"Then you need to sit down with him and your parents, intervention style. You need to present the same argument you did to your parents, and in all honestly, I would question him in return: what was he hoping would have been the outcome of that conversation?"
"Did he want you to say he’s so right, so smart? Did he want you to go to your wife and tell her to abort? Does he feel like he is in a place in his life where he can be your family planner and manager? When he crosses a line, what does he feel should happen?"
"Only when he is directly confronted, and you have the right supports in place, can he be presented with how his behavior affected you and what that could possibly mean for his relationship with you and your growing family." - allison_mossie
The subreddit understood feeling burdened by so much negative information during what should be a happy time of planning and anticipating a new addition to the family, but the OP needed time to think about what he wanted his larger family dynamic to look like.
That might mean removing his brother, so that the OP could protect his own, and by extension, his wife's and children's, mental health, but it might mean minimizing contact with other people, too, if they weren't willing to respect the OP's boundaries he had for his family's life.