We all get the right for photo approval before something is posted, right?
Not for Redditor AITA_Jun112023.
She recently wore a revealing dress to her husband’s work event, and now she’s having dresser’s remorse.
This led the Original Poster (OP) to subReddit “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA).
She asked:
“AITA for asking that my husband not share pictures of us?”
She went on to explain.
“Throwaway since there’s some information that would make it clear who I am to anyone who knows me.”
“Friday night, my husband [28-year-old Male] and I [26-year-old Female] went to a nice dinner hosted by my husband’s company.”
“The dinner was mainly to celebrate the great year he and his team had, so he was basically the center of attention.”
“I purchased a new white dress for the night. When I put it on before we left, my husband told me that the dress was practically see-through and left nothing to the imagination.”
“I looked in the mirror, and he seemed to be exaggerating, so I told him that it wasn’t nearly as noticeable as he was making it out to be.”
“You could sort of see the outline of my bra, but everyone wears underwear, and, unless someone was deliberately looking, it wasn’t an issue.”
“We went back and forth a bit — I didn’t have any other dresses that fit me, as I recently gained a bit of weight and haven’t had a need to dress formal, he said he’d rather me dress more casually than wear that.”
“After a bit of back-and-forth, he gave in and I wore it. We went to the dinner, I got to meet a lot of his co-workers and bosses, it was lovely.”
“Afterwards, he wanted to make a post on social media about the night, and asked me to choose which pictures to include.”
“I saw the pictures of me, and my jaw dropped — the flash from the camera, and the lighting in general, made my outfit way more revealing than it looked in the mirror at home.”
“You can see every roll, every freckle, it leaves almost nothing to the imagination. I was completely embarrassed, and told my husband not to post them.”
“He told me that he has no pictures of him without me, so there’s not really much he could post from the night.”
“I asked him to photoshop my outfit a bit, to make my dress less revealing, and he said that he doesn’t know how to do that.”
“After an argument, I won and he agreed not to make the post, but he said he still wants to send some to his parents directly.”
“And, I’m sorry Reddit, none of them look flattering, they make me almost look naked!”
“He said, since his co-workers and bosses saw me like that, he should at least be able to show his parents as well.”
“I feel like, since my husband agreed that the dress was too revealing, he should be understanding that I don’t want him sharing pictures of it with family.”
“His co-workers and bosses are one thing, I never have to see them again. But family is family.”
“He thinks that I’m not being fair. In his words, I insisted on wearing the dress, and now I’m preventing his family from seeing pictures because of it.”
“It’s now Sunday morning and he’s still not giving in. I want to just forget about the whole thing and move on, he seems to really want to share pictures of the night.”
“I’m not sure what to do, whether I should give up and tell him to send it anyway to put it behind us, or whether I should stand up for myself.”
“So Reddit, AITA for asking him not to share pictures of us?”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
-
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided:
“You may not be wrong in keeping the pictures offline, but YTA.”
“This was an important event for your husband. He pointed out the issue with your dress and asked you not to wear it. You wore the dress anyway so you got what you wanted.”
“Then you see the pictures and surprise it’s as he stated. You demand he doesn’t share pictures and again you get what you wanted. He has every right to be frustrated.” – WhyCommentQueasy
“Right?!? Who can blame him for being a little miffed? I wonder what else OP’s dismissing/ignoring/not trusting that her husband says.”
“If my husband told me something was see through, I would believe him. Especially if he was adamant enough to request I even go less formal to an event important to him and his work.”
“This wasn’t a date, this was an event with the husband’s coworkers and bosses. That alone would have had me changing out of something that obviously made my husband uncomfortable.”
“OP has nobody but herself to blame with this one, and no right to ask her husband not to share photos with his family.”
“All she had to do was actually trust and respect her partner’s judgement, but apparently she doesn’t, like at all.” – Dewhickey76
“YTA. It was his night, with coworkers. He tried to be pretty d*mn clear you shouldn’t wear that dress.”
“What you’re seeing in the pics? Yeah, everyone saw that night, the coworkers, the public etc.”
“Now for you to be la di da dismissive as in ‘his coworkers saw …so what ….I’ll never see them again’ is the REASON you’re in this position.”
“You didn’t care, and still don’t, about your husbands career, perception of him professionally etc. He tried to discuss it that night and you didn’t listen.”
“You still aren’t.”
“I couldn’t care less about the deal with his parents, you’re already an a**hole. So own it, let him post every d*mn picture.” – dart1126
“I’m all for setting boundaries but honestly YTA”
“He told you before you ever left it was revealing. He told you to change. He explained why. Multiple times it sounds like.”
“But you just HAD to be right and wore it anyway. I don’t see how many of this is his fault now.” – HauntingAccomplice
“INFO – Shoe on the other foot…”
“Say you’re going out with your husband to an event that is not only important to you, but it’s actually celebrating you specifically.”
“Your husband decides to wear pants that are so tight and light that you can see his manscaping and whether or not he’s been cut.”
“You tell him that those pants leave nothing to the imagination and maybe he should wear different ones, but he insists.”
“You get the pics and your husband’s veggie-smuggling operation is on full display and he’s very embarrassed and doesn’t want you to post or send to anyone.”
“All of the pics you have from the night that show your beautiful gown are together with your husband, and all include your husband’s vacuum-packed kielbasa.”
“These are the only pics you have of your special night… How would you feel about your husband’s request to not post or send them to anyone?” – Dark_Mode_Nose_Wind
“YTA. You dug your own grave. He warned you it was too revealing and practically see-through. You chose to ignore that and wear it anyways.”
“This was an important event for him and he should be able to share that. Granted you should be able to tell someone not to post photos of you but you did this to yourself.”
“Absolutely the natural consequences when someone warns about something and you choose to ignore it, then learn the hard way they were right.”
“He’s being good by not telling you “I told you so” so I will. He told you so” – poweller65
“YTA – this situation was caused by you, so it’s up to you to find a solution.”
“Hire or find someone who can do a light retouch and make your dress more opaque.”
“You should pay for it, as you caused it by ignoring his advice and then decided that you should ‘win’ the argument that he can’t share them.”
“Be a better partner and fix the issue – and apologise to him for ignoring his advice for his important work event!” – Sel-Reddit
“YTA”
“What have we learned here? You need to cut the crap with your husband. Just from what little you wrote I can see the dynamic in this relationship.”
“He tries to give input and regardless if he is right or wrong, you are the type that chooses the opposite just ……. because.”
“He didnt want to show his parents or post those photos online for the hell of it. He wanted to show PROOF of what he has been dealing with for years now.”
“You need to get with the program and work as a partner in your relationship or youre going to lose a decent thing you have in your life.” – JLineman09
“You’re asking the wrong question babe.”
“You were the AH for not listening to your husband when he told you in the first place and embarrassing him in front of his boss because YOU couldn’t change into any suitable outfit.”
“Literally it would be better if it wasn’t see through- anything would be better than that.”
“You didn’t listen to your husband and stood your ground and you went out in public like that where people could see you in different lights.”
“You put your husband in the worst position. You could have made a plan and you would have made a plan if you had seen pictures before you went out.”
“You choose to not trust your husband and now have to damage control and are still somehow still annoyed at your husband for being annoyed.”
“I’d be more than annoyed that you have acted selfishly at every turn and have no sense of personal accountability or care for how it affects your husband.”
“You acted like a bad spouse. You owe pretty much everybody who was forced to see through your dress the whole night and honestly I hope your husband leaves you at home at his next event.”
“Going alone would be easier to explain than the spectacle you made because you decided to not trust your husband. Yta” – unsolicitedPeanutG
Respecting and listening to your spouse is key.