Everyone enjoys having a moment in the spotlight every now and then.
Even introverts can’t help but feel the tiniest bit proud when they get commended for a notable accomplishment or achievement.
Likewise, it’s never a particularly good feeling when someone steals the spotlight from you, inadvertently or not.
Redditor babythunderstealer made a point of waiting to share some wonderful news with her family in order to not steal attention from her sister.
But in her sister’s eyes, the efforts of the original poster (OP) were not enough.
Wondering if she was being insensitive to her sister, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**Hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for stealing my sister and nephew’s thunder with my pregnancy announcement?”
The OP explained how after sharing some exciting news with her family, her sister accused her of doing the very thing she made an effort to avoid.
“I’m currently pregnant with my first child.”
“My fiancée and I collectively decided to hold off telling people for at least 3 months for the following reasons.”
“Didn’t want to jump the gun in case it didn’t work out.”
“My sister was mid pregnancy with her first after struggling with conceiving for 7 years and we didn’t want to steal the thunder.”
“So baby was born and all is well.”
“My fiancée and I decided to hold off another month so all attention could be on my sister and nephew.”
“We announced to his friends and family in the meantime and everyone was super thrilled.”
“A few days ago I told my parents and they were over the moon.”
“I sent out a nice email with a little e card and some sonogram pics to the family members that are spread out and that I don’t see regularly and can’t tell in person.”
“My sister included, as she lives in a different state than I do.”
“We got a lot of congratulations and excitement from most everyone except my sister and her husband.”
“She called, in tears, tearing into me for planning this and stealing attention from her son that took her so long to have.”
“I told her this wasn’t planned it just happened.”
“That made things worse as I am significantly younger than her and then it turned into her ranting at me how nice it must be to just be able to accidentally get pregnant when she had to fight, struggle and, her words, actually work to have a family’.”
“Her husband was in the background and backing her up.”
“I told her we had even taken an extra month to wait to tell people specifically so she and my nephew could have undivided celebration and attention, then I ended the call.”
“My fiancée and his family is on our side.”
“My family is a little too ‘omg new baby’ to gauge properly but my sister and her husband definitely think I’m an AH.”
“AITA here?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community unanimously agreed that the OP in no way stole her sister’s thunder and was thus in no way the a**hole.
Everyone agreed that the OP was being more than considerate by waiting a month to tell everyone her good news, and though some attributed her sister’s behavior to heightened emotions as a result of childbirth, everyone agreed she overreacted.
“NTA.”
“Your sister may not be in a clear state of mind due to hormones, exhaustion and potentially even postpartum depression.”
“Don’t take it too personally and let her have time to sit with it for a few days before trying to talk again.”
“You’ve done nothing wrong and she doesn’t get to decide when someone else can get pregnant or under what circumstances.”
“It was considerate of you to wait as long as you did.”- NarwhalNectarine
“NTA.”
“It’s not like you can just delay the announcement forever.”
“There’s a window, and you waited as long as you reasonably could out of respect for your sister and nephew.”
“Any longer, you risk offending people when they hear through the grapevine because you’re visibly pregnant and people know.”
“Your sister is projecting onto you.”
“These are two different pregnancies, and the people who love you want to be a part of your special time as much as they wanted to be a part of your sister’s.”
“And they will have no problem being there for the both of you.”
“Enjoy your pregnancy and welcoming your little one!”
“Let your sister work out her issues, but don’t take them on yourself.”- Meemaws_BearCheese
“You’re NTA.”
“You waited 3 months while your sister was still pregnant, and then 1 month after the kid.”
“Did she expect you to wait until you had your kid?:
“And then what, just say it was adopted?”
“smh.”- defectivediagnosis
“NTA.”
“What were you supposed to do, just wait until the kid was born and be like ‘surprise!'”- stseomfs
“NTA.”
“There’s enough sunshine and celebration to go around for everyone.”
“Having babies isn’t a competition to be in the spotlight.”
“I understand she struggled, but that doesn’t diminish your right to live your life and grow your family.”
“She should be looking at the bright side of you both having kids who are similarly aged.”
“You’re able to go through the milestones of parenthood together and support each other.”
“Some people will look for any excuse to cause drama.”
“Smh.”- 16574010118303
“NTA.”
“You waited.”
“You even waited extra to give her extra attention.”
“But, at the end of the day, the world doesn’t stop turning and other people have lives and news.”
“She needs to get over herself and realize the world doesn’t revolve around her child.”- Ok-Mode-2038
“NTA at all.”
“You were very fair with the approach you and your husband did.”
“It could be that her hormones are all over the place and impacting her mood, so she is more sensitive about it all.”- Penelope_Luc9
“NTA and in fact, you are very nice because the SECOND she attacked me over MY fertility, I know my temper would have kicked in and I would have said some very vile, sister relationship changing sh*t to her.”
“So good job!”
“I never get how people, grown ass adults, are actually verbal nowadays about ‘not getting enough attention’.
“It just sounds pathetic and sad to me.”
“I almost always have the same impulse to say ‘you’re a fucking adult’.”- PAACDA2
“NTA.”
“The 2010’s gave us Bridezillas and the 2020s are giving us Momzillas.”
“Your sister sounds like one.”
“Congratulations on your pregnancy OP.”- Kristieboo96
“NTA.”
“I was a long awaited baby, 3 years, with other cousins and family babies born in the meantime.”
“My mum would never have seen that as a threat or anything other than someone else’s happy moments.”
“I had a cousin, unplanned but not unwanted, born 6 months after me.”
“They just saw it as a great opportunity to share the experience of having 2 young family kids together.”
“I was born prematurely so we should’ve been just over 3 months between us so a similar gap between you and your sisters children when any pregnancy was announced.”
“Do your parents live in the same state as you so far away from your sister?”
“The real issue could be that and therefore it might not actually matter when you got pregnant just that you are and will therefore see more of your parents than she will.”
“It sounds like there could be other issues at play here.”- wildfellsprings
“NTA.”
“You literally waited until A MONTH after their kid was BORN.”
“Other people get pregnant!”
“Other people have babies!”
“The world does not revolve around a single person!”
“You would think she would be too happy focusing on her month-old baby to call you up and berate you!”- gratefulnothateful11
“NTA.”
“You gave her and her son plenty of time to be the main attraction.”- 0biterdicta
“I’d act like nothing happened and let your sister reach out first.”
“She’s going to realize eventually that she made a bit of an ass of herself and yes, that other people are allowed to announce pregnancies and have babies.”- MysticYoYo
“NTA.”
“Drama queen detected.”- verdebot
“Oy.”
“NTA.”- curly_lox
“NTA.”
“What, did she want you to wait until the baby was born and hers was older?”
“You had to tell people at some point you were gracious and waited.”- alpachafarmer
“NTA.”
“Infertility causes trauma in a lot of people who experience it and it’s a painfully neglected part of the conversations we have around infertility.”
“The problem, which comes from how neglected and unspoken this trauma effect is, causes people who struggle with infertility to often exhibit abusive behavior to people in the way their trauma manifests in their actions.”
“They’ll often have unrealistic boundaries or demands, become bitter to those who don’t struggle, project their anger or grief onto the people around them, etc.”
“And should you point out that their behavior is abhorrent or toxic, they’ll turn it around on you like many people who have abusive tendencies do.”
“Now, keep in mind that I’m not saying your sister is abusive or that all people who struggle with infertility are abusive or that all people who struggle with infertility will exhibit these negative reactions to their infertility.”
“What I’m saying is that this is probably an issue that runs much deeper than you and your actions and she’s only taking it out on you.”
“So no matter what you would have done in this situation she would have been upset with you.”
“Her issue is with your pregnancy and with how easily you became pregnant.”
“She’s resentful and projecting that onto you however she can.”
“So whether you waited weeks or months or even got pregnant years after her, it would have all been the same.”
“I think your sister really needs to speak to a therapist and heal from her trauma.”
“Not for anyone’s benefit but her own.”
“Unresolved or unaddressed trauma just festers and causes more pain.”
“She deserves to be able to heal.”- JinxForASoda
One imagines that going through childbirth, particularly after long and difficult road to conceiving, the OP’s sister’s emotions may have had a harder time controlling her emotions than usual.
Even if it’s hard to think anyone would ever be anything but overjoyed to hear their family was expanding.
No doubt all will be forgiven by the time the OP’s bundle of joy arrives, but here’s hoping they patch things up much sooner than that.