in , , ,

Mom Calls Out Child-Free Friend For Asking Her To Put Baby In Another Room During Visit

Woman holding a baby.
JGI/Tom Grill/Getty IMages

Whether or not one wants to have children is a very personal decision, to which there is never a right or wrong answer.

Some people dream of having children all their lives but do so knowing they can provide children with the love and attention they need and deserve.

While others know that they can’t provide children with that love and support, and make the very conscious decision not to become a parent.

Unfortunately, no matter one’s stance, people’s decision on whether or not to have children is often met with judgment from people who disagree.

Redditor, and new mother, CitronThis3941 was recently paid a visit by a close friend, who was outspoken in her intention never to have children.

While the original poster (OP) was always understanding of this decision, her friend’s behavior towards her baby came as a most unpleasant surprise.

Resulting in a brief, and less-than-harmonious visit.

Having doubts about how she handled the situation, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:

“AITA for not putting my kid in the other room when my friend came over.”

The OP explained how the way her friend behaved around her child resulted in a less-than-pleasant visit.

“I (33 F[emale]) have a 9 month old that is crawling.”

“He is everywhere and into everything.”

“I have a play pen he often times goes in and will put him in his crib for nap time.”

“I have a friend (32 F) who is pretty vocally child free and they came over to plan for another friends bachelorette party.”

“I was holding my son when she arrived.”

“She arrives, comes in and i can tell she is uncomfortable.”

“I’m holding him and she asks me if I can put my son in a different room.”

“I say no…my husband is golfing and he is awake so I want to watch him.”

“I put him in the nearby playpen, but he is just doing the happy baby yelling type stuff.”

“She mentions how last time I came to her place I asked her to put her dog in another room.”

“Never mind it kept sniffing me and slobbering on my leg.”

“I told her that is very different, and I’ll leave him in his playpen.”

“She starts arguing with me and I tell her she can leave, we can do this another time.”

“So she does and calls me an a**hole on her way out.”

“Was I though?”

Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

The Reddit community agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for refusing to put her son in another room because he made her friend uncomfortable.

Everyone agreed that the OP’s request was ridiculous, and she was absolutely right to shoot down her friend comparing her son to a dog.

“She wanted you to put your 9 month old, unsupervised and awake, in another room?”

“And she compared it to a dog?”

“Why is this person your friend?”

“NTA.”- DoIwantToKnow6417

“Absolutely NTA.”

“Under no circumstances can you just put a crawling baby in another room unsupervised!”

“Your ‘friend’ is a nut job to think that is even in the realm of options.”

“Your baby is nothing like her dog, your baby could actually die if left alone.”

“And what the hell was he even doing that was so upsetting to her?”

“Existing in her presence?”

“She needs to get a grip.”- MyRockySpine

“NTA.”

“I’m also what one might call ‘vocally childfree’.”

“That doesn’t mean I hate children, and even if it did, that wouldn’t be an excuse to be a d*ck to them.”

“Just because your ‘friend’ doesn’t want to be a mother doesn’t mean she gets to shame your choice or disrespect a f*cking baby.”- BunnyAndWhatnot

“NO.”

“NTA.”

“Dog vs. kid, dog can be left alone for a few hours, 9 m. kid awake?”

“Nope!”

“You can leave him for a bathroom break, but that’s it!”- borderlineF45

“NTA.”

“Being child free doesn’t mean you get to demand that there be no children in your presence.”

“She’s just ridiculous.”- ChakraMama318

“NTA a dog can be left unsupervised for a time.”

“A puppy cannot.”

“A young child can be left with distant supervision.”

“A baby cannot.”

“She should know this.”

“I’m child-free.”

“I don’t ask my friends to put their babies up like toys they don’t play with when I’m there.”

“She could have simply asked that you make sure not to hand the baby off to her.”

“If being that close was that bothersome to her, she should have politely expressed that you could do it another time preferably when your husband could be there to watch the baby.”

“No one puts baby in the corner.”- TrelanaSakuyo

“Absolutely NTA.”

“It’s ridiculous of her to compare your child to her dog.”

“Nine month old babies needs adult supervision when they are awake.”

“Dogs don’t.”- passthebluberries

“NTA.”

“But I would heavily reconsider whether you want this person as your friend.”

“There is nothing wrong with wanting to be child free (I certainly don’t want a kid and have held fast to this desire my entire life) but that never gives someone the right to make demands of others who have kids just because they don’t want to be around them.”

“What happens when your child starts to walk around, require even more supervision from you so they don’t end up getting hurt?”

“This person can’t expect you to just put your child in another room when they are around every single time or eventually your kid is gonna realize that they have to be ‘locked away’ when this specific person comes over and resentment will start to build.”

“Also a dog is very different from a child and is at a much less risk of severely harming themselves if left alone in another room for an hour compared to a HUMAN INFANT and the two situations cannot be compared to each other at all.”- YourLocalCryptid64

“NTA.”

“Was the baby sniffing her and drooling on her?”

“Were you bullying her into holding your baby?”

“Demanding that she play and snuggle with the baby?”

“Your baby sounds infinitely less intrusive than my friends chihuahua, who wouldn’t stop sniffing my hair and trying to lick me.”

“It’s not just your home, it’s also the baby’s home.”

“Babies and children are members of society too.”

“People who choose to be childless do not get to live in a child free world.”

“I had this problem with my niece when I had a baby.”

“I eventually just didn’t invite her over anymore.”

“We aren’t close anymore because she treated my son very poorly due to the fact that she doesn’t like small children, even though I never once asked her to hold him or feed him or play with him or interact with him at all.”- Kaelyn_Angelfoot

“NTA.”

“If she can’t see how a dog and a child are different, that’s her own issue.”- Sting_like_a_Vespa

“Yikes.”

“Your friend is being completely ridiculous.”

“Your baby and the dog are two totally different situations.”

“If she wants to be child-free, great for her.”

“You’re not letting the baby crawl all over her or forcing her to hold your baby or anything.”

“NTA.”- HolyGonzo

“NTA.”

“Just because someone is child-free doesn’t mean everyone else has to hide their children.”

“And children aren’t pets.”

“I mean, your baby isn’t even old enough to inflict a serious bite.”

“Give him another year, and he’ll be ready for the big time.”- IAmHerdingCatz

“If someone told me to put my baby in another room, I would ask them to put themselves outside my home.”

“NTA and my advice is to dump that ‘friend’.”- plo84

“NTA.”

“You can’t leave an awake baby unattended.”

“It’s okay not to like kids, but your friend is ridiculous.”

“Kids have the right to exist, especially in their own homes.”

“Don’t even get me started on trying to compare the child to a dog.”- Worldly-Letterhead61

“She should no longer be a friend.”

“NTA.”- SparklyAndSpunky

“NTA your child is not a pet.”

“Your friend is really strange to compare a baby to a dog.”- Jmm1272

“NTA.”

“She came to a house with a baby living there.”

“That’s on her.”-  ionlyreadtitle

“Totally NTA.”

“Your ‘friend’ totally the AH.”

“Comparing the baby to her dog like it can be put away without supervision?”

“She can’t be that stupid to not know that is not OK.”

“Childless or not.”- montgardes

“NTA.”

“Your friend, on the other side.”

“Not for being childfree (that’s her right), but because it’s clear she doesn’t respect you and your baby.”

“I go so far as to say that she hates children.”- 000-Hotaru_Tomoe

Something nearly everyone underestimates about dogs is how self-sufficient they are.

Something infants most certainly are not, making the request of the OP’s friend all the more ridiculous.

While her decision not to have children shouldn’t be looked down upon, she likewise shouldn’t look down upon those who choose to become parents.

Particularly when it comes to her friends.

Written by John Curtis

A novelist, picture book writer and native New Yorker, John is a graduate of Syracuse University and the children's media graduate program at Centennial College. When not staring at his computer monitor, you'll most likely find John sipping tea watching British comedies, or in the kitchen, taking a stab at the technical challenge on the most recent episode of 'The Great British Baking Show'.