We’ve all played hooky once or twice in our lives.
Be it to meet up with friends, to go on a day trip, or just to take a day off for our own mental health.
Most of the time, doing so doesn’t have any major consequences, particularly if we weren’t missing anything serious at work, school, or home.
However, skipping out on obligations and commitments is not something that should necessarily be encouraged.
The husband of Redditor Small_Garage_7574 shared a passion with their ten-year-old son.
So much so that he planned on skipping work one day and also taking their son out of school to attend a major event in the world of their shared passion.
The original poster (OP) was not at all in favor of this plan, even sharing some choice words with her husband over the matter.
Regretting her choice of words, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA For Accidentally Calling My Husband An Idiot For A Purchase He Made?”
The OP explained how, upon learning of a less-than-ideal plan of her husbands, she found herself resorting to name-calling:
“My husband (40 M[ale]) is really into tech (not more than medicine though, I guess), and it’s probably his number one bonding thing with my son (10 M).”
“They repair and fix their own computers together, go shopping for parts, etc.”
“The only thing I don’t like about his hobby is the fact that he buys things like he’s a tester.”
“He bought all the Meta VR sets (that he eventually Gave to my son and daughter) to see whether he liked it or not.”
“And spoiler: He only liked the second and third meta sets.”
“He also gets the newest iPhone and Samsung every three years, which I won’t complain about since that means a free phone for me every three years.”
“Well, if you don’t know, Apple released their VR thing, and my husband had a verbal celebration toward me about how he wants to buy it and test it out and stuff.”
“I saw that price tag ($3500) and my brain went into ‘nah’ mode.”
“Turns out he already put a demo reservation at the Grove on Friday and the demo is on Monday.”
“He told me he’s calling out of work to test and taking my son out of school for it.”
“I called him an idiot on accident for doing that.”
“It slipped out kind of. I didn’t mean to call him that.”
“He stopped talking and he left the room to ‘talk to someone who actually cares’.”
“I feel bad, and my husband is still mad about it, but I actually didn’t mean to call him that.”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
The OP found little to no sympathy with the Reddit community, who generally agreed she was, indeed, the a**hole for calling her husband an idiot.
While some understood where her anger and frustration were coming from, they also felt that name-calling was never the solution:
“Why continue saying it was an accident?”
“You called him a name, whether or not you did it ‘by accident,’ and honestly, I don’t think it was an accident.”
“Calling him an idiot isn’t constructive – if you think it’s too much money to spend, or that he shouldn’t miss work/pull your son out of school about it, there are surely productive ways of discussing that.”
“ESH.”- lihzee
Others, however, couldn’t condone the OP’s behavior, not only finding her behavior unacceptable but also severely questioning if her calling her husband an idiot was actually an accident.
“YTA for calling it an accident.”
“You have the ability to control the words you say.”
“You said what you said.”- superjudy1
“YTA.”
“You did in fact call him an idiot so you are guilty of that.”
“I would suggest you settle down and compose your thoughts then apologize for calling him an idiot.”
“Perhaps talk about why you got so hot so quickly there.”
“Were you stressed about the expense?”
“Were you upset he didn’t communicate/plan this with you beforehand?”
“If something like that did trigger that attitude in you, it’s worth discussing as well with him when you feel up to.”- Distinct-Practice131
“YTA.”
“You say in the comments that he is an anesthesiologist (i.e. a doctor) and that these purchases aren’t hurting your financial situation.”
“So what’s the problem?”
“Also a new phone every three years isn’t that crazy, especially for someone who can afford it.”-v_a_n_d_e_l_a_y
“YTA.”
“Seriously, you resorted to name-calling.”
“That is never appropriate.”
“If your family finances can handle the hobby, then who are you to judge what he enjoys.”
“Would you appreciate it if he called you names and put you down for something you love doing and he doesn’t see the value in it?”
“I didn’t think so.”- many_hobbies_gal
“YTA.”
“If you’re in a financially secure enough position, and it’s your husband and son’s passion then who are you to knock it.”
“How would you feel if your husband called you an idiot for spending money on something you were passionate about?”
“Or is that not okay because that would be something you’re passionate about?”- PloughBoy95
“YTA.”
“I don’t really have an opinion on your husband wanting to play with fancy new toys.”
“If it’s in your household’s budget, then it’s whatever.”
“Hobbies can be expensive.”
“But you didn’t ‘accidentally’ call him an idiot.”
“Words don’t just pop out of your mouth.”
“At the very least, you were thinking about it and said it, but that doesn’t make it an accident.”
“It sounds like you don’t care for his hobby.”
“That’s fine, you guys can have different hobbies.”
“But putting him down for it is yucky of you.”- jadeariel12
“YTA.”
“How does one ‘accidentally’ call another person an idiot?”
“Is that on the same level as accidentally cheating?”- SigSauerPower320
“YTA.”
“This is his passion.”
“Sounds like a thing he truly loves.”
“You sh*t all over it and treated him like he’s less than.”
“I don’t blame him for never speaking to you about it again.”- Chalkarts
“YTA.”
“Try to have a constructive conversation about your displeasure in his spending instead of name-calling.”
“And while you may not have wanted to say ‘idiot’ out loud, you obviously were thinking it, so not sure it was an ‘accident’.”- wildndf
“YTA.”
“Specifically for calling it an accident.”
“Own what you said.”
“Also, because you left out a lot of details, I am left to assume that he actually isn’t an idiot.”
“You don’t talk about your finances at all so I assume your household can support the purchase of a very expensive toy.”
“That’s not even the real issue, though.”
“Based on the wording of your paragraph, you called him an idiot because he is going to TEST the device.”
“This is just logical shopping for me.”
“You go test something before you spend a bunch of money on it.”
“That makes him smart.”
“Not an idiot.”
“Why do you think it’s okay to call him an idiot for testing out some new tech toy that he really enjoys?”- BeardManMichael
“YTA and you know it.”
“Stop trying to justify that it was ‘an accident’ or ‘why’ you said it.”
“Stop trying to get validation.”
“You called your husband an idiot while he was trying to tell you about something that makes him happy and gives him an opportunity to bond with your son (sounds like it’s a hobby that obviously makes your son happy too).”
“That’s sh*tty.”
“That makes you TA.”
“Missing ONE day of school isn’t going to affect your son in any way, shape, or form.”
“In fact, most teachers encourage parents to let their child take a day off every once in a while to alleviate stress.”
“And it’s not like your son is going to sit around and do nothing at home.”
“He’ll be spending time with his father.”
“You say in your comments that money isn’t an issue.”
“And so far your only complaint about your husband is that he wants to spend quality time with your son?”
“And your automatic response was calling him insults?”
“You owe your husband an apology.”
“Because honestly, I can’t imagine how hurtful that must have felt.”
“To talk to your spouse who is supposed to at the very least support your hobbies (you don’t have to like them) about something that makes you happy, and to have them just shoot me down like that..that would crush me man.”
“YTA.”- Sensitive-Soul94
Perhaps what’s most alarming, is nowhere in her story did the OP say anything about apologizing to her husband.
Making one think that those who wondered if her name calling was an “accident” like she claimed it was.
One can only hope she didn’t need to rely on the Reddit community to convince her to give her husband the apology he deserves.