"Accidents happen" is a popular aphorism that exists to point out how little control we actually have over our lives.
While we can't control how chance will effect our lives, we can do something about how we respond to it.
Of course, what happens when the decision you make after a chance encounter doesn't go over as well as you'd hoped?
This was the problem facing Redditor and original Poster (OP) winedress-aita when he came to the "Am I the A**hole" (AITA) subReddit for outside opinions.
He asked:
"AITA for not paying for a new dress when I ruined the original dress accidentally?"
First, he suggested why he needed help.
"Another post got me thinking about my own situation involving a dress, and I've been called the a**hole and my wife is pissed at me - so just wanted to check in to see if I really am or is my thinking justified."
He then dove into the story itself.
"This happened a couple of weeks ago at a wedding I (37-male) had attended."
"during the reception, while everyone was dancing and generally having a pretty good time I was sitting off to the side while my wife mingled with her friends."
"(it was my wife's friend's wedding so I didn't really know anyone there)."
"at one point she called out to me to come over - so I stood up from the chair I was chilling on and started walking over."
Everything was fine, until...
"I accidentally dumped into an older woman and spilled my drink (wine) all over her dress - I immediately felt bad, the woman started tearing up saying her night was ruined, and [ I ] offered to pay for the damages."
"she ended up leaving early since she was wearing like a... pastel pink(?) and the red win did not compliment it, to say the least."
"A couple of days later, the woman contacted me and asked if I was still willing to pay for the damages."
"and I said, of course, it was my bad - and she then sent me a link to another dress that looked nothing like the one I ruined, and it costs $6k+ (???) and she said there was no way to fix the damages to the original dress so if I can buy this dress as a replacement."
OP asked for assurances.
"sure, I could afford the dress, and I do feel bad that I ruined the original dress, but felt that the price of the new dress was suspicious, so I messaged back saying 'I'll need proof that the original dress costed similar to the amount this new dress costs so send over the details and I'll get it sorted'."
"but somewhat expected, the woman started making excuses saying she lost the original receipt, or that the designer's website isn't listing the dress, blah blah blah."
"I told her to send the proof within 24hours from the time of this last message."
"so she called me a child for not taking responsibility and that I should pay for the new dress since I have the means to pay (i do, but big question is how does she know this)."
"I told her no dice, 'it's simple, give me proof the original costed anywhere close to the price of the new dress and it'll be done - 24hours or offer is off the table'."
Later,
"anyways, I'm sure you can guess what happened - but no proof was sent so I dropped the matter and told her as such."
"turns out this woman was the bride's sister (wife's friend), and now she's angry that I refused to pay for the new dress, and now my wife is angry since her friends are now angry at her."
"although she agrees that the price of the new dress seems ridiculous and said that no way did the original dress costed that much since in the words of my wife 'like how, she's a welfare sponge' (someone who games the welfare system) but wife still think I should pay for the new dress so that she doesn't lose her friend."
"We have separate bank accounts, and she could easily pay herself, but she thinks it should be on me."
He was left wondering,
"AITA for not paying?"
Having explained the whole situation, the OP turned to Reddit for clarity.
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA - Not The A**hole
- YTA - You're The A**hole
- NAH - No A**holes Here
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided: NTA
Some pointed out how to easily get to the bottom of the dress mystery.
"Nta, I use to work in retail."
"99% time if you pay 6k for a dress, it's with a credit/debit card ( so a paper trail )"
"Most luxury companies email receipts these days"
"If you know the brand of the dress ( have a picture), a simple reverse image search will show old collections of most high-end brands ( often sold on second-hand sites such as Vinted)"
"Even without a picture, knowing the brand, give a description, it will also likely pull a result from the internet"
"Unless the dress was silk it's highly unlikely red wine won't come out without the proper care. ( unless she wasn't able to soak it within a reasonable amount of time)"
"A store can tell exactly what collection/year/cost especially luxury stores. "
"( even knowing the barcode/plu number, found on the care instructions label inside the dress, will also pull up the dress details)."
"The fact it's luxury means it's not impossible to find out it's original cost, and you stand a better chance given the factors listed above."
"You can also ask her what store she bought it from ( and call the store yourself) 'pretend' to do the legwork for her"
"Tell her you are going to claim it on your insurance, they require a statement from the store/bank, proof r irreparable damage from the dry cleaners, photos of the dress."
"If she still won't provide it, it's not your problem anymore."
"Edit to add: more details"~sproggs44
Others pointed out how shady the whole thing seemed.
"NTA."
"This woman is a scammer."
"Since it's clearly a 'designer' dress, I'd ask to see it and the label."
"No way is a dress worth that kind of money without a label."
"And no way does the average person spend $6,000 on a dress!!!"
"And there's no credit card statement for this kind of expensive item?"
"She paid cash? (Eye roll)"
"Even if it was $600 - I'd want a receipt."
"Oh - and what about dry cleaning? Did she even get an estimate?"
"Your wife needs better friends. Big time NTA."~MaineGirl_1923
And,
"With how she is acting, I'm starting to doubt that you bumping into her was an accident..."~SparkAxolotl
Responses also pointed out that there are simpler solutions.
" 'Give me the dress, I'll bring it to my dry cleaner.' " "[insert Khaby gesture here.]"
"NTA, but you're making this harder than it needs to be."~Remarkable_Inchworm
Or,
"NTA and tell her you'll pay for the dry cleaning bill, not a new dress. Ask to speak to the dry cleaner she took it to and have them verify that they really can't fix the dress."~yourlittlebirdie
Accidents happen.
The choices we make after the accident are what determine the impact that accident will have on us.
Remember to make wise ones.















Woman Breaks Up With 'Clingy' Boyfriend For Making Joke About 'Getting With' Her Sister
As much as we might want to date someone, there's no point in trying to gain the attention and affection of someone who does not want to reciprocate.
Dating someone "similar" to fill that void isn't a good look, either, cringed the members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subReddit.
Redditor Flashy-External1666 had been long-distance dating a guy from her friend group for about a month, even though he'd expressed his attraction to her older sister repeatedly before they started dating.
When her sister entered a new relationship, the Original Poster (OP) was hurt and disgusted that her boyfriend insinuated that he could have been trying to "get with" her sister while he was instead busy dating her.
She asked the sub:
The OP was aware that her boyfriend had his eye on someone close to her before dating her.
"I (19 Female) am with M (21 Male), and we've been together for a month. We were friends before this, for a while."
"For some background, when we were in a friend group, he'd always talk about how my sister (23 Female) was super hot and how he wanted her, but she was in a relationship at the time."
When he found out that her sister had been in-between relationships, he had an unsavory reaction.
"Earlier today, I mentioned to him how my sister started seeing this new guy, and I was super proud of her, because she went through a lot with her last relationship."
"His immediate reply was, 'Dang,' one month too late' with a sad emoji, insinuating that he was one month too late to get with her, because we've been together for a month."
You can see the text message exchange here:
The OP was immediately turned off by the idea of dating him.
"After I got upset and he apologized, he immediately sent me a reel that said, 'When she's already upset about me, but I have a second joke in mind.'"
"I feel like he genuinely doesn't care about me."
"He has also gotten weirdly clingy within the month, like red-flag clingy."
"He keeps trying to say how he loves me, wants to marry me, and wants me to go live with him. But he also always brings up my exes and gets super jealous when HE mentions them."
"I don't know what to do. Should I block him??"
"He's mentioned before that I would need to block him on everything if we ever broke up because he'd never leave me alone (we are currently long-distance)."
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
Some were grossed out by the boyfriend's text message and understood why the OP was upset.
"The fact that he wrote all that out and even added a little emoji at the end and still decided to send it, knowing it would be hurtful for you."
"Seems like he’s texted that to see if he could get away with it. Either way, you don’t say something like that to someone you care about…" - Oven_Traditional
"NOR. Ew! That’s so disrespectful coming from someone who should be thrilled to have you."
"I’m team 'dump him.' If he has a brother, maybe ask for his brother’s number as you end it just to see how he likes it." - Entire-Tonight-1463
"NOR. He's not joking about your sister. Based on what he's said about her in the past, it would have been a wise move to NOT date him at all. PERIOD."
'There's a possibility that he's clingy/close to you for the purpose of indirectly keeping an eye on your sister. Release him and let him go, thereby setting yourself free from foolishness." - AtlJazzy2024
"He’s not for you… Break up with him and block him. You deserve a guy who treasures YOU!" - Muted-Lynx-8745
"He might be your boyfriend, but you're not his girlfriend. In his mind, your sister is." - Save-your-spoons
Others urged the OP to block her boyfriend and move on.
"Girl, it's been a month. Let that loser go." - sleepymelfho
"He kept OP as a backup, while circling her sister's orbit. What has happened to transparency and honesty in relationships? All I read now is obnoxious men doing obnoxious things to their partners."
"OP, he's keeping you around to stay close to your sister. You deserve better... NOR." - ColdHandGee
"NOR. You know that he's not joking about wanting your sister. He told on himself before you even got together, talking about how hot she was. Believe him."
"Break up with him and cut him off immediately. I can't believe you ever agreed to date him in the first place. I'd never want to date someone who had the hots for someone else in my immediate circle, whether that was a sibling or a friend." - Lanky_Mud_8148
"You’ve been dating one month, and that’s one month too long."
"He’s not joking about your sister. He fancies her more than you, and you’re the consolation prize. He will pursue her given the chance."
"Time to dump him." - Special_Wind_6708
"NOR. He can't have your sister, so you're just the next best thing. Him being a clingy weirdo that 'will never leave you alone' is the cherry on top."
"You know what to do. Dump him and block him on everything. If anyone from the friend group asks, just tell them what you told us. And you REALLY should warn your sister; you have receipts." - sdoM-bmuD
"Ditch him. Honestly. What are you waiting for?" - forget_me_not_uwu
"NOR at all. Cut this loser out of all channels of your life."
"I wouldn’t block, though. Just ghost so that he can watch you become happier without him as the ultimate revenge because I’m petty like that, and he clearly deserves it."
"ALSO, if he's as creepy and clingy as he sounds, you can have him muted, so he can see your activity, but you won't have to see his... But you'd have all of his messages as receipts if he ever became threatening or stalkerish for police purposes."
"For more context: My mum started dating my dad (when she was 19, too), who initially tried to go for her older sister (two years older) and got rejected."
"After three years of dating, seven years of engagement, and 20 years of marriage where she put up with an incompetent man-child that wouldn’t do anything for himself and expected her to completely cater to him while he berated her and treated her like s**t..."
"...it ended in him cheating on her with a waitress for over a year and denying it until my mum had literal photographic evidence, to which he had the audacity to respond with the reasoning that she was the reason he was 'driven to cheat' (as if that was even remotely close to the truth and the only option to solve his ‘problems’)."
"Save yourself, girl. This man-child can learn to pine over you and your sister from afar as you both skip into the sunset together, moving on with your lives and into better relationships that fulfill you the way you deserve!" - peachycritter
Some cautioned the OP to also cover her tracks after the breakup, as he sounded worse than "clingy" to them.
"The actual scary part isn't even the sister joke; it's, 'he said he'd never leave me alone if we broke up,' only one month in."
"That line gave me chills, and that alone would have me Googling how to block someone on every platform that exists." - babydoodle91
"Ew. These super clingy guys right out the gate are scary. Please watch your step, and erase your tracks." - Immabirb
"He sounds like a stalker... Drop him now, fast. And block him everywhere." - Admirable_Program720
"NOR, yes, you block him, and you keep him out of your life, and you tell mutual friends that if they try to facilitate contact between you two, you will block them as well. He isn't joking." - JustAsICanBeSoCruel
"I watch way too much crime for this!"
"Girl, block him. Also tell your sister to block him, too; he’s obsessed with her." - MrsRoronoaZoro
"NOR. You're underreacting, honestly."
"He wants your sister, but you're close enough. He's obsessed with her and won't give it up even though he has someone he 'wants to marry.'"
"Also, he's not lying. He probably will stalk you online afterwards; please be careful." - Phoenix-Phire-38
"NOR at all. Your post kept adding on more red flags with each additional sentence. I know you’re young, but he’s toxic, and yes, you will need to block him."
"Breaking up with someone you have strong feelings for is really difficult, so when you leave, you should make sure to lean on friends and family and keep yourself distracted with things you like and find engaging." - query_tech_sec
"The s**t with your sister is nothing compared to the love-bombing and jealousy. This guy is trouble, and scary, and you will have done the right thing when you leave him and maintain the distance between the two of you. NOR." - potatomeeple
After receiving feedback, the OP posted an update, but it seemed to be only the beginning.
"Thank you for making me feel less crazy."
"I blocked him on everything and deactivated my Instagram."
"He DM'ed a girl that I had posted ONCE on my Instagram Stories, asking about me."
"I'm not sure if he's going to keep trying to talk to me, but I hope not."
The subReddit's internal alarm bells were ringing while reading the OP's post, and they hoped that she'd leave her boyfriend in every sense of the word. They already lived long-distance, but she needed to cut him off in every other sense.
Not only was it obvious that he wanted someone else and was with the OP to "make up for it," but his "promises" of not leaving her alone if she ever broke up with him were love-bombing and stalker-like, at best.