Health issues plague too many people.
And sadly, too many health issues aren’t taken seriously enough.
This is a big problem when it comes to dietary matters and reasons for having service animals.
Case in point…
Redditor GateKeepingRunner wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
“AITA for bringing my service dog to a wedding when I know he’s a ‘scary’ breed?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I 20 F[emale] have a service dog for pancreatic attacks (I have hypoglycemia unawareness, I’m not diabetic); his name is Angel, and he’s a Dobermann.”
“I love him so much, and he helps me avoid passing out and alerts me when I need to eat sugar.”
“He’s playful and has never bitten anyone, though he looks a bit imposing. He has been properly trained and is a real service animal.”
“His tasks keep me safe and prevent me from getting hurt.”
“My cousin 26 F (Chloe) is a health nut.”
“No sugar, no fat, no carbs kind of health nut.”
“She knows about my health issues but asked me not to bring my service dog because of his breed.”
“That he’d scare her and her future husband’s kids, as her toddler is afraid of large dogs, having been barked at in his face.”
“I made the wedding slide show, and all of the music was on my laptop, so I had to be there.”
“I told her I had to either be provided with sugar all night, in the form of several soft drinks or candies, or I would bring Angel with me along with my own sugar, and she told me, ‘Fine, but you can live without junk for one night.'”
“I received a copy of the menu the morning of the wedding and surprise: no sugar at all.”
“None in the form of carbs, sweets, drinks or even in the cake with a large NO EXCEPTIONS written underneath.”
“So I got dressed, filled my computer case with gummy candies (helping me to regulate sugar quickly), and harnessed up Angel for the night.”
“I sat in the back, away from the aisle, through the ceremony and nobody noticed Angel.”
“I then went to the venue for the reception and set up my music stand and the slideshow, the venue legally has to allow service animals, and the employee was quite understanding.”
“Angel alerted me a few times while I was setting up and I was able to eat what I needed.”
“When Chloe and her husband, and their kids arrived, she freaked seeing Angel.”
“People had noticed him this time, and I had explained he’s a service animal.”
“Her youngest (a toddler also noticed and started to cry as he is scared of big dogs.)”
“He was in his vest and was laying down calm as could be.”
“Before I could begin the music for their first dance, she was at my music stand screaming at me that I was selfish for bringing Angel to her wedding.”
“And I could have gone one night without having to be the center of attention, and I could be healthy for once and not eat so much sugar.”
“She kicked us out before dinner or the slide show, then sent me a nasty email saying I ruined her wedding, and she expects me to pay her back for the missing slideshow and the music.”
“Even though I did her slideshow as a wedding gift, and it took several days.”
“I feel horrible I made her toddler cry, and I feel like a total a** for bringing Angel, even though I need him on a day-to-day basis.”
“So AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“You offered solutions instead of bringing your service dog, and that is, by the way, very, very nice of you.”
“She declined everything. That’s her problem.”
“She wasn’t willing to compromise.”
“I wouldn’t pay for anything.”
“NTA. You did nothing wrong.” ~ Inevitable_Block_144
“People are pushovers for a reason.”
“If you aren’t already, having therapy to find out why you find it so hard to stand up for yourself would be a great start.”
“You have a serious health condition that requires you to have a service dog and sugar with you at all times.”
“Your cousin is not only being absolutely vile, but she’s also putting your health at risk in more than one way.”
“Firstly, she could explain the concept of Service Dogs to her children, and reassure them that the dog will absolutely NOT hurt them; he is there to work and to keep you from getting sick.”
“Secondly, she should keep her issues around food to herself.”
“Extreme diets, withholding major food groups, all that ‘health nut’ stuff is HER choice.”
“She should not be inflicting that on others, especially other adults, and especially when those other adults NEED sugar/carbs to stay alive.”
“You owe her nothing.”
“She chose to kick YOU out, and she chose to do so for no good reason and before your gift to her.”
“That was her choice, so she has to suffer the consequences.”
“You simply say to her that her hang-ups around sugar are not your problem and that you will not be paying her back/apologizing for anything.”
“If she keeps harassing you, block her.”
“Personally, I would have nothing to do with her in the future, cousin or not. NTA.” ~ mrs_spanner
“Your cousin is 100% the AH.”
“1). She ruined her own wedding.”
“No one else blinked twice at a service dog because most people understand the concept of necessary exceptions to general rules.”
“What people will remember is how she screamed at a person for needing a service dog.”
“Immediate person to write-off in my book.”
“2). She can’t have her cake and eat it too.”
“Reality doesn’t magically bend to her preferences.”
“Either she lets you have your necessary food and service dog, or she forfeits her DJ, slideshow, relationship with a kind cousin, and the respect of many people.”
“She chose the former, and no one made her do it.”
“3). She needs to teach her child that not all fears are rational and slowly warm them up to big dogs.”
“A child doesn’t know better about what is dangerous and what is not, and it’s the parent’s job to teach them the difference.”
“Some big dogs are dangerous, yes.”
“And you should always ask the owner for permission before approaching any dog, regardless of their size.”
“But that doesn’t mean they’re all ‘guilty until proven otherwise,’ and a certified service dog is not going to be dangerous.”
“4). The key to teaching kids to eat healthy is to only have unhealthy food in moderation.”
“This would teach them self-control for when they’re independent.”
“The way things are now, her kids will horde sugar in secret and binge whenever they possibly can.”
“They will stop taking her authority seriously when it really matters and rebel in order to gain agency in their lives.”
“Her inflexibility will only backfire (as it did with you, but in a different way).”
“OP, you are NTA. Rest easy knowing that.” ~ Choice_Bid_7941
“NTA. Depriving a family member of their service animal that alerts for health reasons is deplorable.”
“Health is subjective; in your case, being healthy very literally is having sugar.”
“Unless she’d’ve rather had you pass out at her wedding.”
“I assume you’d have gotten called the center of attention for that, too.” ~ abldav
OP had a bit more info to give…
“I felt very damned if I did damned if I didn’t.”
“Because if she didn’t provide the sugar required for me to be without Angel, I could hurt myself, and if I brought it, I feel she would be angry.”
“She’s yelled at me for bringing my own soft drinks for family events before, and she doesn’t like it when I eat candies in front of her kids.”
Also…
“For people asking about my diet, I have A[ttention] D[eficit]/H[yperactivity] D[isorder] and can forget to eat for days.”
“I am also chronically underweight from an eating disorder I obtained from grades 6-11. I also struggle with object permanence.”
“It is easier for me to remember bright candy than plain-looking pills.”
Reddit continued…
“Time to go no contact with your cousin. She sounds awful.”
“You have a genuine medical condition, and it’s not up to her to decide what you can and can’t eat, even for one day.”
“She chose to let this ruin her own wedding. NTA.” ~ Maximum-Ear1745
“NTA, the fact the animal needed to nudge her during the day shows he was working and was needed.”
“Would the bride have preferred the op collapse at the wedding due to her unrealistic restrictions?”
“That really would have been the center of attention then.” ~ the_RSM
“NTA – your cousin keeps referring to what you need to eat as junk and unnecessary.”
“Your cousin is the AH.”
“Because that’s not okay.”
“You can’t ask a person with a disability to just stop having it for a day because it’s inconvenient.”
“If you had that option, you wouldn’t need a service animal.”
“Your cousin is being irrational, selfish, and mean.”
“Regardless of what type of dog your service dog is, you need him, end of story.”
“Tell her that she’s ableist.” ~ ktempest
“NTA: she expected you to put yourself in an actual life-threatening situation.”
“No access to your service animal and, to top that off, an inappropriate menu – I mean this is analogous to serving an allergen to a person with anaphylaxis.”
“Then to turn around and have the audacity to claim that you ruined her wedding when she threw you out nah, she can bugger right off.” ~ Ok-Many4262
Well, OP, Reddit is with you.
You have to put your health first.
You even did her a huge favor by helping with the wedding.
It sounds like a little distance for a while won’t be a bad thing.
Good luck, and stay healthy.
And kiss Angel for us.