Some families argue about money. Others argue about food.
Some people are so passionate about their food that they won’t even try someone else’s cooking.
A Redditor encountered this very issue with her husband’s mom. So she turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for moral judgment.
She asked:
“AITA for making my husband clean his mother’s vomit?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I’m a SAHM and my husband works in a demanding industry. Our deal has always been that I do all of the cooking and cleaning, he works and does the yard work, and we split parenting evenly.”
“We have never had an issue with this.”
“Also my MIL and I do not get along. It is a very strained relationship, but I never wanted to put my husband in a position where he had to chose, and unless she extremely crosses a line, I don’t want to break up a family.”
“One of our issues with MIL is she will not eat my food. She isn’t a picky eater at all, and will eat pretty much anything else, but if I cooked it or put it together, she will not touch it.”
“Honestly this does bother me, because it is so rude, but like I said I don’t go looking for drama with her and my husband defends me as need be.”
OP’s MIL and her family decided to join them for lunch.
“MIL, her husband, and their 17 year old came over the other day for lunch.”
“My husband has forbid MIL from bringing her own food, because he feels she just does it to be a bitch, so MIL will just sit there and not eat. MIL and my husband ended up getting into a fight over it and he said she can’t say she doesn’t like it if she doesn’t try it.”
“They can both be very stubborn and he ended up saying he would go no contact with her if she didn’t try a bite, which I know he was bluffing, but MIL made a show of bracing herself and took one bite.”
“I would like to think she did this for attention, but I don’t think you can make yourself do this. She projectile vomited all over the table.”
“When she stood up she puked some more on her husband’s shoes and herself, and then she became hysterical.”
OP’s mother in law clearly did not feel well.
“Her husband brought her outside but she had a full blown panic attack and was sobbing and just could not be consoled. I was concerned about MIL, and mainly about my four year old because he is very attached to MIL and this was scaring him.”
“SIL was screaming at my husband that she hates him and will never talk to him again.”
“MIL finally calmed down a little and I offered her a shower and a change of clothes. She seemed really embarrassed and would not come in the house, but used the hose and had a shirt in her car.”
“I was focused on calming my son down and my husband was focused on SIL, but by the time they left it hit us that our house is now covered in vomit and someone has to clean it.”
OP and her husband argued over who should take care of the mess.
“I said he should clean it because he caused this mess and she is his mother.”
“He said I should because that is our deal. I refused and threatened to take our son to my sister’s until it was cleaned. We ended up at a standoff for about an hour, and he was more focused on SIL.”
“They are very close and she was still saying she hated him through text and that she will never talk to him again. He texted his stepdad and said he needed to come and clean it because she is his wife, but SFIL did not take that well and said some nasty things.”
“Finally, I said he could clean it or we would leave.”
“He cleaned it but he has a little bit of a weak stomach and was gagging. When he finished he was upset and wanted space and ended up sleeping in the guest room that night.”
Redditors gave their opinions on the situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors agreed everyone sucked in this situation.
“He’s the one who caused the issue from start to finish, including having been the one to forbid MIL from bringing her own food. Sure, they’re married, but they’re still individuals and he’s the one who caused the mess.” ~ codeverity
“He forbid his mom from bringing food to defend his wife. He had his mom take a bite of food to defend his wife. His wife saying that he’s the cause of all of this is kinda AH behavior.” ~ AbsoluteAnalRecords
“Wait… a man can just say he did this to defend his wife and if his wife doesn’t accept it, she’s the AH? I don’t think his wife/OP had anything to do with forcing the food on MIL… that was his choice, his consequences.” ~ somuchbotox
“But why even have em over. Don’t wanna eat our food don’t come for a meal.” ~ Urmom_731
“I mean that could be the next step. Obviously cutting off family isn’t an easy thing to do, so he’s probably trying to get his parents to come over and be respectful.” ~ AbsoluteAnalRecords
“It can’t really be OP’s cooking because no one else threw up. MIL worked herself into hysterics with the help of OP’s husband. It’s just as likely that she’ll move on to blaming OP’s housekeeping or hygiene for the food to keep trying to humiliate OP as much as possible.”
“I think they should change to only seeing them in restaurants or other public and neutral places where people are free to walk away on either side. The punishment is really the lack of contact with OP’s husband and their children.”
“Let them walk away all they want but that’s the agreed to time to socialize so if MIL walks she’ll have to wait until the next scheduled time to see their children.” ~ suzi_generous
It’s not a family meal without some drama.