As they have probably been dreaming of this day for most of their lives, brides and grooms might get a little nit-picky when it comes to planning their wedding.
And as the big day gets closer and closer, it’s very easy for their emotions to get the better of them.
Resulting in their treating their friends and family members in a manner that is anything but dignified.
Like most brides, the sister of Redditor DiabeticBridesmaid wanted everything about her wedding to be perfect.
With this in mind, she requested that the original poster (OP) not wear certain accessories on the big day, feeling they would spoil the wedding pictures.
A request the OP flat out refused, as these accessories which were vital to her health.
An excuse that wasn’t good enough for her sister.
Wondering if she was being unreasonable, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for refusing to remove my medical equipment during my sister’s wedding?”
The OP explained how her medical condition managed to become a contentious issue with her soon-to-be-married sister.
“My sister is getting married next weekend, and I’m a bridesmaid.”
“I’m a Type 1 Diabetic, and I wear two medical devices, a Dexcom blood sugar monitor on one arm and an Omnipod insulin pump on the other.”
“They’re both really small (under 2in ea) and work together to automatically monitor and regulate my blood sugar levels.”
“This basically means I don’t have to prick my fingers to test blood sugar or give myself insulin injections. The system does that automatically and makes my life way easier.”
“Today, when we were trying on our dresses, my sister told me she wants me not to wear them during the wedding because the gowns are sleeveless and the devices will look ugly in the photos.”
“I told her I wasn’t okay removing them, they’re essential medical equipment, and I’m not going to put myself in a position to affect my health just for some photos.”
“My sister complained to our mother and some of our friends, and they’re all taking her side.”
“They say it’s no big deal if I just don’t wear them during the wedding, but I don’t see why I should.”
“Mom suggested I could move them to my stomach, but I’ve tried that before and find it incredibly uncomfortable.”
“When I put a new sensor on, I’m stuck with it for 10 days until it expires, and I can switch to a new one, and I don’t want to be stuck with one on my stomach where it will bother me the entire time.”
“They’re all complaining that I’m not willing to compromise at all, but I don’t think my health should be an area where anyone can ask that I compromise at all.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
The Reddit community unanimously agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for refusing to remove her insulin pumps for her sister’s wedding.
Everyone was shocked by the disregard shown by the OP’s sister and family towards her health, which was not something she should have to compromise simply to take wedding pictures, with many even suggesting she boycott the wedding.
“Promptly decline the invitation to attend if your sister cares more about her aesthetic wants than your medical needs.”- thatshygal717
“Your sister’s photographer can edit the devices out of the photos if she is really so bothered by their appearance, but as they literally help you stay alive and healthy, it’s unreasonable and dangerous to ask you to remove them.”
“I can’t believe all your family would rather you get sick or be physically uncomfortable for days just so your sister can have ‘pretty’ photos.”
“I’m so sorry, you deserve more respect and empathy.”- tangerinelibrarian
“How absolutely vapid and shallow and just downright selfish.”
“And your mom and friends agree with her?”
“How on earth do you have so many horrible people in your life?”
“I hate hate hate this ‘trend’ of perfectly curated photo shoots to erase reality.”
“Photos should show what is, and there’s nothing wrong with what is.”- AmishAngst
“Photoshop exists for reasons just like this.”
“Asking you to compromise your health is selfish of them, not to mention unreasonable.”- IamIrene
“Just bow out of being a bridesmaid.”- Curious_Solution_763
“Being a diabetic and doing the pricking and injection, it is a big hassle.”
“I can understand your situation and also the fact that it is super essential for your health.”
“Compromise health for good pics?”
“HARD PASS.”- prettydistracted2
“I’m not diabetic, but I have seen firsthand how fickle blood sugars can be, especially in type 1 diabetics (I’m a nurse).”
“I’m saddened that your family and friends do not realize how much this could affect you.”
“I would stand your ground and do what you feel you need to do for your health.”
“A wedding is to celebrate the couple.”
“While nice pictures are great, you wouldn’t be the star of the photographs anyhow, and honestly, who cares about an insulin pump ‘ruining’ photos (it won’t ruin any photos).”- Knicketty_Knacks
“People should accept you as you are. You didn’t ask for diabetes.”
“I think that it’s a positive thing that you are comfortable with your devices and aren’t worried about them showing.”
“My son was so psyched when he saw a CGM on one of the girls in Turning Red, he doesn’t see people like him often, and I think it would be really nice if others could show that it’s not something you have to hide or be ashamed of.”
“Perhaps a compromise is getting a nice-looking cover sticker that goes around the dexcom?”
“Other than that, I hope they can understand the trouble it causes to have to change sites and placements to somewhere the devices could be bumped off during wedding type activities.”-braillenotincluded
“Explain to them that this is 2023 and that there’s this amazing thing called ‘photoshop.'”
“How can people be this ignorant?”- canvasshoes2
“Would they ask a paralyzed guest to leave the wheelchair at home for the sake of perfect photos?”
“Your medical aids are essential, and this demand is just as rude as can be.”
“If your equipment is that offensive to her photos, they can be edited out.”- Dittoheadforever
“NTA, and I am judging your mother HARD.”
“Your sister and mother suck, frankly.”
“Who in their right mind asks someone they love to neglect their very serious health issue for aesthetics?”- Flimsy-Ad-7627
“As a fellow type-one with a sensor and pump duo, absolutely NTA!”
“I get wanting to accommodate the bride and groom, but your health is 100% non-negotiable.”
“Never, ever should you be pressured into comprising your health for another person’s benefit.”
“Ask her: would she ask someone to remove their heart rate monitor for a photo, or for someone who couldn’t walk to leave their walking stick/wheelchair out of photos?”
“Probably not, right?”
“It’s unreasonable, insensitive, and just downright ableist to ask a diabetic to go without insulin + accurate BG readings for the sake of a few pictures.”
“If they are that fussed about how the sensor and pump look, they can pay someone to edit them out.”
“But even then, what kind of sister would be so embarrassed about her sibling’s condition?”
“Idk, personally I would be incredibly insulted if my sister ever insinuated my sensor+pump were unsightly and less important than her aesthetic.”
“You shouldn’t be made to feel bad about the pieces of equipment that literally keep you alive.”-gracehm05
The OP later gave an update, sharing that her brother and grandfather came to her rescue.
“I didn’t want to involve others hoping to settle this between myself and my mom/sister, but my brother got wind of what happened last night and absolutely tore my mom and sister a new one about how hurtful it was to suggest I go without my devices just for her wedding photos.”
“He then told my grandfather, who is paying for the wedding.”
“Grandpa apparently drove an hour into town this afternoon just to tell my mother how disappointed he was and that he must have gone wrong somewhere raising her.”
“He told her that if they didn’t apologize and make things right, my mom should figure out how to pay for all of the outstanding wedding costs herself.”
“Now, I do think this was a bit extreme, I wasn’t looking to cause this much trouble for my mom and sister, but it seems to have worked because they called me to apologize and say it was wrong of them to suggest I just go without my monitor and pump and we can find a way to dress it up instead.”
“I accepted their apologies.”
“We decided to try wearing flower corsages over each device so they can’t be seen.”
“If that doesn’t work, we can try a shawl, as many of you suggested.”
“I’ll be giving my grandpa a big hug and buying my little brother dinner tonight as a thank you for having my back on this.”
“Maybe it seems minor to some, but it was really upsetting to me that my own family turned on me when it came to my own health, so it was a really big deal to me that they unconditionally supported me when my mom and sister wouldn’t.”
One can only be grateful that the OP’s sister and mother managed to come to their senses.
It’s a shame it took the OP’s sister this long to realize this, though.
After all, had the OP obliged them and removed her pumps, it might have resulted in her fainting or needing emergency medical care.
Which likely would have been the one thing everyone remembered about the wedding.