A bride-to-be is not about to let her day of nuptials be ruined by one individual not on the guest list.
When she made her stand, she was given an ultimatum that made her question her choices.
This prompted her to visit the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit to seek judgment from strangers online.
There, Redditor The-Ice-Queen9 asked:
“AITA for telling my sister she cant bring her fake emotional support dog to my wedding?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I (29 F[female]) am getting married in a few months, and were having an outdoor ceremony at a beautiful venue. My sister (26 F[female]) has a small pitbull that she claims is an emotional support animal.”
“The thing is, it’s definitely not a legitimate support dog. She bought one of those fake online certificates just so she could take him everywhere. He’s not trained at all. He barks constantly, jumps on people, and once even peed on our mom’s couch during a family dinner.”
The OP continued:
“To make matters worse, I’m allergic to dogs. It’s not life-threatening, but I get itchy eyes, hives, and asthma symptoms when I’m around them for too long. I manage it at family events by taking allergy meds, but they make me sleepy, and I really don’t want to deal with that on my wedding day.”
“When I told my sister she couldn’t bring her dog, she flipped out. She said I was discriminating against her for having anxiety and that I didn’t understand how much she needed him. I offered to set up a quiet space for her if she needed a break during the wedding, but she said I was being unsupportive.”
“My fiancé is on my side, but my mom is pushing me to just let it go to keep the peace. She said it was just one day and that I could push through it. Meanwhile, my sister is now threatening not to come at all if her dog isn’t allowed.”
“I feel like Im being reasonable by asking for a dog-free wedding, especially with my allergies, but maybe I’m the a**hole?”
Anonymous strangers weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
Many Redditors thought the OP was not the a**hole (NTA) here.
“NTA (Not The A**hole). Your wedding, your rules. It’s not fair for your sister to claim that her fake emotional support dog is more important than your health on your special day. Do you really want a barking, untrained dog stealing the show? Stick to your guns and have a dog-free wedding. Your allergies and sanity will thank you.” – PickMyPumpkin
“If this is the bullsh*t your sister brings with her, then her skipping your wedding sounds like a plus.” – El_Culero_Magnifico
“And it’s no wonder where she gets her entitlement from. The enabling, useless mother that’s screaming for peace instead of actually telling the one creating the mess to shut the hell up, sit down, and leave her f’king dog at home, no offense to that poor pup. NTA.” – Wrong_Moose_9763
“Not only that, but the sister’s dog being a pit bull is also problematic. Don’t get me wrong I think most of the bad reputation the breed gets is due to bad or incompetent owners and breeders. I have met many very sweet pit bulls, however many people are afraid of them, and the breed reputation is such that they are banned in places due to the liability risk – even if that risk only exists because it increases the cost of insurance.”
“I imagine that OP’s wedding venue might not be happy about an emotional support pit bull either.” – _gadget_girl
“I’m sorry, OP, but wow, the nerve of your mom to tell you that ‘it’s just one day.’ ”
“Like um… okay…yes, I guess it technically is one day, but it’s not like it’s just any random Wednesday or something like that. It’s your literal wedding day. Why is it on you to keep the peace on the singular day that’s meant to be dedicated to you and your fiancé?”
“i find that whenever the phrase ‘just keep the peace’ is being used, it’s never aimed at the person who’s actually causing the issues to begin with. 9 times out of 10, it’s usually said to the person who is generally the most likely to capitulate, regardless of how unfair it is to place that sort of burden on them in the first place.”
“if your sister wants to make it a thing of ‘either my dog comes with me or i won’t come at all,’ if that’s the line that she’s willingly drawing in the sand, then maybe it really would be best for her not to attend at all. hit her with an ‘i’m sorry to hear that, know that i would love to have you there but at the end of the day it’s your own decision. Either way, your dog will unfortunately not be welcome on my wedding day. The end.’ ”
“Why allow yourself to be made to beg for her attendance when she, as someone who’s supposed to care about you, should be eager to attend no matter what? It’s unfortunate, but at the end of the day, it is what it is. Let her do what she likes—the worst thing would be to force her unwilling presence only for her to sit there sulking the entire time. NTA.” – DahliaDarling14
“It’s ridiculous of your mother to even entertain the idea you should compromise on your own wedding day. Your allergies may be less important when it’s someone else’s event because then you have a choice as they seem to be manageable, but certainly not at your own wedding. You’re NTA as long as you accept that she won’t be coming. Tell her she’ll be missed but you understand that she can’t come. Repeat as needed. “ – RiverSong_777
“It’s not ‘just one day’. This is a landmark event. It’s an event that your sister needs to handle her bs. It’s an event where your mother needs to stop making exceptions for your sister. It’s an event where a dog does not belong.”
“In fact, since there is much controversy around pit bulls, it is probably not appropriate to bring one to a large event where people will be drinking alcohol, children may be there, and there will be activity.”
“Tell your sister if she can’t handle a wedding without emotional support, she needs to stay home and tend to her mental symptoms. You are not a landlord or a restaurant. You are not obligated to include an emotional support dog whether it is real or not.” – ritlingit
“NTA. I’m betting the venue would demand that your sister’s dog leave since Emotional Support Animals aren’t covered by the ADA (if you are in the US). The only law that really protects them is the FHA and that’s for housing (and they’re allowed to reject documentation from websites now).”
“‘Sorry, sis, but I talked to the venue, and they said, No dogs. Before you claim that’s discrimination, turns out emotional support animals don’t get the same public access coverage the service dogs do under the ADA. If you bring the dog, the venue will ask you to leave. It’s out of my hands.’ (Give the venue a heads-up about this before you tell your sister so that when she calls, she’ll get the same. No, the dog isn’t allowed.”
“We’ll miss you at the wedding.” – naranghim
“NTA – I’m a service dog owner. My dog went through two years of training in order to get his Indoor Access Certification. People like your sister make me beyond angry.”
“An emotional support animal does not get the same access as a certified service dog. They are not allowed to enter private establishments like SDs can because they’re not trained. The only time she can demand her ESA be allowed in is if she was going to rent an apartment that normally doesn’t allow pets.”
“Stores, restaurants, venues, etc, are allowed to kick out even a trained service dog if the dog is misbehaving. If your sister wants her ESA to become a SD that can go with her everywhere, then the dog needs to be trained and controlled.”
“Not every dog can become a service dog, and self-training is often not recommended because if your sister is nervous to go somewhere, then the dog will also become nervous/anxious by feeding off her energy.” – Visual-Lobster6625
“NTA! It is one day… your wedding day! Your health shouldn’t have to suffer for any reason. Your mother and sister are putting your sister’s WANTS over your NEEDS. Also, it’s not as though dog allergies are rare so there is a good chance that someone else may be allergic too. All he has to do is jump up on one guest and it could cause a deadly reaction.”
“Real service dogs go through rigorous training to ensure they can handle public encounters. What if a child or guest has a bad interaction with him and he bites? It’s an outdoor wedding so what if a squirrel runs by and the dog wreaks havoc? There are too many variables for an untrained dog. This is a once in a lifetime event for you so your sister should be the one pushing through to keep the peace.”
“Play up the health angle and use your sister’s words against her, say that they are discriminating against you for your medical condition. Ask why your HEALTH NEEDS are not as important as your sister’s emotional WANTS. Ask why, on your own wedding day no less, is your health and comfort not supposed to be paramount?”
“Put the decision on your sister (where it belongs) and tell her that since it is YOUR WEDDING and your attendance is MANDATORY that if she CHOOSES not to attend she will be missed but you will understand.” – Left-Kangaroo-3870
Overall, Redditors thought it ridiculous that the excuse “It’s just one day” justified everything, even thought the OP’s physical well-being was at stake.
They also thought it very unfortunate that the sister would threaten to skip the most important day for the OP.