Many of us know the old saying, “Don’t cry over spilled milk.” But for one mother-in-law, this concept did not apply to spilled wine.
Her new daughter-in-law later wrote into the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit after hearing enough of her mother-in-law’s complaints about a bridesmaid spilling wine on her at the bride’s wedding.
Redditor Varlet8 then wondered if she overreacted after receiving critiques from her husband.
The Original Poster (OP) asked the sub:
“AITA for telling my MIL (mother-in-law) to stfu (shut the f**k up) [and that] no one poured wine on her on purpose, because no one cares about her that much?”
The OP’s MIL has been complaining ever since the wedding.
“One of my bridesmaids spilled wine on my MIL at my wedding a year ago and she still brings it up.”
“Now two things that I think are important, this woman is seriously rich and never wears the same thing twice. I’ve seen her destroy plenty of expensive dresses jumping into the pool or spilling her own liquor, so I really don’t think she cared about the dress.”
And the OP is almost certain her bridesmaid spilled the wine by accident.
“Second, she was acting super cringe at my wedding, sitting in her husband’s lap, refusing to eat because she felt sick, and she kept doing this weird thing where she would either hold FILs (father-in-law’s) hands and fall backward, or hug him and just go limp.”
“He told her to stop doing the hand thing because she was going to fall, so she did it as hard and as sudden as possible and guess what, she fell.”
“Now I don’t think the bridesmaid poured wine on her on purpose but maybe she did, who knows. MIL cried about the wine until FIL bribed her with food (though she was supposed to be nauseous?). By the time they left she was all smiley and happy.”
But the MIL’s complaints recently became too much for the OP.
“Now a year later she still brings it up occasionally. She is convinced I told the woman to do it.”
“The other night we had family dinner and her daughter asked her if she wanted wine and MIL said she should pour it on me to avenge her.”
“I yelled exactly what it says in the title [‘Shut the f**k up. No one poured wine on you on purpose, because no one cares about you that much.’] but my husband says MIL was joking and I reacted too strongly.”
Fellow Redditors wrote in, anonymously rating the OP’s reaction and the MIL’s behavior on the following scale:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some focused on the MIL, stating she was spoiled and eccentric.
“NTA.”
“No offense but your MIL is spoiled. Nothing is worse than seeing spoiled people being ungrateful for what they have.” – Mohammed_Fadel
“Spoiled and eccentric AF. Yuck.” – That__EST
“Yeah, she was clearly mad that she wasn’t the center of attention at someone else’s wedding. Luckily she was already married and old so she couldn’t either force a proposal or pregnancy announcement. NTA.” – adeliner
“NTA. She sounds mentally ill or seriously narcissistic. I dated a woman for a couple of years that did dumb s**t like this. She would just suddenly ‘collapse’ to get attention when no one was focusing on her.”
“I remember once after we broke up but were still hanging around the same social group, she did that and no one paid attention so she sprang back up really quick and just left. FIL sounds like he enables this behavior. How does your husband respect to this kind of behavior from his mom?” – CrimsonToker707
Others agreed and said the MIL definitely wasn’t joking at dinner.
“Yep. She wasn’t joking. She is still bringing it up a year later and is convinced the bridesmaid did it on purpose. She’s a spoiled AH who is making a huge deal about an accident. She needs to let it go. Besides it’s not like she was ever gonna wear that dress again.” – WeeklyConversation8
“NTA”
“She sounds like she was drunk off her a** and is misremembering the whole thing. [She’s the] ‘they must hate me’ type of drunk.” – fox13fox
“NTA. Sounds like your MIL was putting on quite the show at your wedding. Even if your bridesmaid did dump wine on your MIL on purpose, it’s time for her to move on.” – CraftyMommaFish
It’s unclear exactly why the mother-in-law needs all of this attention, or if the bridesmaid really spilled the wine on purpose, but one thing is certain: the bride has reasons to be upset, as well, starting with the mother-in-law’s disruptions at the wedding and following dinner parties.