While it is ultimately the thought that counts, people still find themselves agonizing over finding the perfect gift.
Something that shows those we love just how much we love them in return.
And while the price of a gift shouldn’t be reflective of its meaning, sometimes we find ourselves willing to pay more than we normally would, knowing how happy it will make the recipient.
A recent Redditor knew that there was one gift which would make their girlfriend extremely happy, and thus put down a sizable amount of money to get it for her.
A gesture which appalled the sister of the original poster (OP), owing to the fact that they spent more on their girlfriend than they did for their mother’s birthday present.
Worried they they had been insensitive to their mother, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for buying my gf a more expensive gift than my mom for her birthday?”
The OP explained how they felt they had no other choice but to pay more than they normally would for a gift they knew would make their girlfriend happy.
“Let me just start by saying my girlfriend (gf) is the pickiest human on earth.”
“She is pretty minimal about her stuff.”
“I have more clothes than her.”
“But when she buys something it usually takes her years before she would purchase it because she’s researched everything.”
“Her favorite jeans broke in 2019 and she’s spent the whole pandemic looking for a new one.”
“I just go to old navy and buy the same one over and over, but her favorite pair was a vintage pair without tags so she can’t rebuy it.”
“I have sat though probably her trying over 200 pairs.”
“She looks great in all of them and I tell her that but she is always unhappy with the fit, color, material, something.”
“We went shopping a few weeks ago and she tried on the perfect pair.”
“She gasped and looked really happy and was going to get it until she saw the price.”
“It was about $300 from silver lake.”
“It’s a ridiculous price to pay for jeans but after 200 pairs I told her to just buy it.”
“She said they were too expensive and left without them.”
“I came back a week later and bought them because I couldn’t handle going though another jeans hunt.”
“I also bought my mom a gift a kindle to replace the one she had that broke.”
As the OP expected, their girlfriend was over the moon, but her joy was threatened by the OP’s sister.
“My gf was very happy and started wearing the jeans everywhere.”
“She wore them to my mom’s place for her birthday and my mom saw them and said she looked great in them.”
“My gf name dropped silver lake, said she got them a week ago and my sister got mad and accused me in front of everyone of buying my mom a cheaper gift than my gf.”
“The kindle cost $100 but I don’t think my mom would care about expensive jeans, she only wears dresses and skirts nowadays.”
“But AITA for buying my gf a more expensive gift then my mom?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community was in agreement that the OP was not at all the a**hole for buying their mother a less expensive present than their girlfriend.
Everyone agreed that the behavior of the OP’s sister was way out of line, and that OP’s presents to both their mother and girlfriend were equally thoughtful.
“NTA.”
“Your sister is tacky.”
“A gift is not necessarily just a price tag.”
“You thought your mom would appreciate the kindle, you thought your GF would appreciate the jeans — neither is a bad gift.”- thebabes2
“NTA.”
“It’s the thought that counts.”
“Your sister pricing everyone’s gifts is super tacky.”- Aunty_Fascist
“NTA.”
“A gift is more than its dollar value.”
“Which is part of the reason you went back to shell out $300 for jeans.”
“And it’s not exactly odd for someone to spend more money on romantic partners than parents.”-Veissella
“NTA.”
“It’s not like your mom wanted those jeans and you got her a cheaper pair so you could spend more on your gf.”
“Also, it’s not your sister’s birthday or gift.”
“That was really rude of her to call you out in front of everyone.”- misshiggy
“NTA.”
“It’s not a contest.”
“Your sister is wrong to make it one.”- Wodan11
“NTA at all.’
“Your sister is weird for being so upset about this and for making a scene.”
‘Is your mom even upset about the situation?”
“A kindle is a really nice gift, imo, and not something you should feel bad about at all!”
“Your sister should just mind her own business.”- 0eozoe0
“NTA .”
“What a sweet set of gifts, the jeans were such a smart choice, and Kindles are great gifts.”
“It feels too indulgent to buy one, I have a phone, after all.”
“You rock.”
“Carry on.”- MakeupForBarnie
“Lol definitely NTA.”
“You sound like a great partner and child for buying them both thoughtful gifts.”
“There are no rules about gifts.”
‘Anything is generous, and attitudes like this are why I hate giving gifts at all.”- winitheju
“NTA.’
“Gifts aren’t about monetary value, they’re about the thought.”
‘Your sister sounds like my sister and God do i feel bad for you.”- woodchuck33
“NTA.”
“Gifts aren’t obligations.”
“Buy what you like for who you like.”- ServelanDarrow
“NTA.”
“Both gifts were thoughtful plus they were actually practical gifts.”
“TA is your sister for stirring up trouble when both people were happy and appreciative of their gifts.”
“She’s being a Debbie Downer.”- stacity
“NTA.”
“If they are looking at the value of the gift and not the thought of it, then I would never buy them a gift again.”-Strange-Courage
“NTA.”
“It doesn’t matter what you spend on who.”
“Or how much you spend on whoever.”
“Your sister is stirring shit to intentionally create drama.”
“And I’ve bought silver lake on sale.”
“It’s rare but it happens.”
“Unless your GF or you said you paid full-price no one knows what you paid for them.”
“Just remind your sister, and anyone else, that if they are upset about this you can easily solve the problem.”
“You just won’t buy any of them anything ever again.”
“You won’t buy them cards, gifts or give them money.”
“If they all get nothing then no one is getting favoritism.”
“Because again; it’s your money.”
“And how you choose to spend it doesn’t matter.”- Terra88draco
“NTA.”
‘It isn’t about the price it’s about putting in the thought and noticing what someone you care about would enjoy.”
“In this case you got both your mom and your girlfriend things they wanted that they wouldn’t have bought for themselves.”
“Personally, that’s my favorite kind of gift.”
“It makes a person feel like the gift giver really is paying attention.”
“It was super tacky of your sister to bring this up and make a scene about it, though.”
“She’s the only AH here.”
“She’s going to really freak out if you decide to get engaged and use the 3 month rule to buy an engagement ring.”
“I can’t imagine what she’ll expect you to buy your mom then.”- joanclaytonesq
“NTA.”
“You bought nice gifts for them that they both wanted/needed.”
“It should be less about the price tag and more about the fact you got them both nice gifts and put thought into them.”
“Do you and your sister have a strained relationship?”
“Why in the world would she pick a fight like that.”
“She was the AH here.”- AnalApiairist
“NTA.”
‘Your mum isn’t your girlfriend.”- DogsReadingBooks
“NTA.”
“People who only consider the monetary value of a gift and not the thought that went into the gift are the true AH’s.”- ShadyVermin
“NTA.”
“I wonder if your sister resents this reminder that your gf has become a priority to you, either in terms of money or in terms of attention.”
“Or if your sister drew your mother’s attention to this because she is somehow trying to drive a wedge between you and your mother.”- serioushobbit
“NTA.”
“They’re gift that the people you gave them to not only wanted, but needed and appreciated your thoughtfulness.”
“Your sister is a tacky AH for bringing it up and making shows of affection about price tags.”-fkboywonder
It’s hard to imagine why the OP’s sister felt the need to call them out in the way they did.
As it seems clear that the OP wasn’t thinking of the price at all when it came to either gift, but rather what would make their mother and girlfriend happy.
And it seems like they succeeded on both counts.