Living with relatives can be difficult, especially if it’s not your normal living situation.
The normal stresses of family life seem to compound when you have any guest, but particularly one you grew up with.
At what point, though, do you draw the line between accumulated stress and a true problem?
This was the dilemma facing Redditor and Original Poster (OP) throwawayabcdzyxwefg when she reached out to the “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) subreddit for judgment.
“AITA for not leaving with my newborn twins and toddler while my sister had a meeting”
First, the history.
“I (23-female) have a 2-year-old son and two-month-old twins. I am a stay-at-home mom, and my sister (25f) who is in grad school has been staying with us while her apartment building gets fumigated.”
Then an explanation of the setup.
“She had a meeting with one of her professors to talk about some stuff regarding a project and set up her laptop in the kitchen.”
And, finally, a bit of the geography involved.
“It’s worth noting that the kitchen is right off the children’s play area/ bedroom, and she also has a bedroom all to herself that has a desk and the wifi is decent in.”
The problem emerges.
“About 5 minutes into her meeting my 2-year-old who was playing with his toy trucks got hurt and started crying. He wasn’t even having a tantrum, just crying because he got hurt.”
Silence is golden.
“After a few minutes my sister excuses herself from her meeting for a moment and yells at me to take the kids out of the house and that she needs total silence.”
Silence is also hard to come by in a house with three wee children.
“I told her I wasn’t going to take my 3 small children out by myself with no stroller which was unfortunately left in the car my husband took that morning.”
“She has been telling me all week that I ruined her meeting and I need to get my children under control. My parents agree that I was being unreasonable.”
She was left wondering…
OP did have one last thing to say.
“Edit to add: this is my home with my husband and my children. My husband and I were very lucky to buy a home before the pandemic whilst I was pregnant with our oldest son.”
“My parents did not and do not fund any part of our lives. They do however fund my sister’s life.”
“So if she gets in trouble in grad school, it affects them as much as her.”
“But it is my home.”
Just for the sake of clarity…
“Last edit: I didn’t think this had to be specified but apparently some people are living in an alternate 2021. It was a zoom meeting.”
“Her graduate school professor did not come to my home for a meeting during a pandemic.”
With her parents on her sister’s side, OP was left to seek the wisdom of Reddit.
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided: NTA
The story was so surprising it was nearly unbelievable.
“I’m tempted to say this is made up because of the sheer WTF of it. Who chooses to have a meeting in a common living area if you have your own private room?”
“However, Reddit has shown me the depths of AH entitlement.”
“OP, I can’t believe you let your sister talk like that to you. Don’t.”
“If she says something just open the door and tell her to get the f*ck out. Make a point to remark how there are no children in F*ck out, so she should be happy.”~Noirceuil_182
Some were shocked at the sister’s lack of regard for the children.
“They aren’t even children old enough to know to be quiet, they’re 2months old and 2 years old. They’re literally babies still.”
“OP your sister is the one being unreasonable.”
“She is a guest in your home, not the other way around, and she had other options for where to set up shop.”
“If she wanted absolutely 0 chance of kids being around her then she could have stayed elsewhere, and trying to take three kids, including two two-month-olds out without a stroller really is outrageous as a request.”
“OP? NTA. Tell her if she wanted a meeting with no kids present then she needs to stay in a hotel, instead of in your home which has 3 very small children.”~Seliphra
Others pointed out how used to Zoom interruptions we’ve become.
“We got a puppy during quarantine. My husband’s office would BEG to have her at meetings. I would have to come out with her.”~Party_Teacher6901
“Can’t count the number of times my cat has climbed into my lap during online classes, and an entire Master’s level class devolves into “KITTY!” and then showing off our pets.”
“Including the professors. It’s hilarious and adorable all at the same time.”~GrailJester
A professor even stepped in to give their opinion.
“I am a professor, and I run a lab full of graduate students, and I would not have cared one single whit if someone’s poor kids are crying in the background during a routine meeting with one of my students.”
“We know there’s a pandemic on and everyone’s doing the best they can, FFS. My kid and cats interrupt my own meetings all the time.”
“Unless you’re literally in the middle of giving your final dissertation defense, we do not care.”
“And if we did, it would be just as you say: judgment would fall on the student for not choosing a better location, not on the parent or the children.”~whatdowetrynow
Children are the leading cause of embarrassment in professional settings, after all.
“My best friend was working from home at the beginning of the pandemic, she works at a call center, and her 3 yr old son walked up with her mid-call and loudly says “MOMMY HAS A VAGINA?” my friend apologized a bunch but the person said it was the funniest thing to happen all day.”
“She had them home for months and she never had an issue with anyone complaining if they made noise or she had to excuse herself for a moment.”~kiwi1018
Of course, OP’s mother did not Reddit’s wrath entirely.
“Op should tell the mom if she feels so strongly about the sisters precious feelings and irrational aversion to any sounds, she can take her in.”~EndlessWanderer316
In the end, Redditt was not having it.
Living temporarily with siblings can be as rewarding as it is challenging.
Sometimes, it’s just better to rent a hotel room.