Going out for a fancy dinner is always a mix of delight and stress.
For after everyone has finished their delicious food and drink, there comes the always delicate issue of the bill.
How to handle the bill becomes an even tighter rope to walk when future in-laws are involved, which was the exact situation redditor predicament29 found themself in.
After their parents treated their future mother-in-law to a shockingly expensive meal, they took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole?” (AITA) asking:
“AITA for withdrawing support over a meal?”
The Original Poster (OP) shared their sticky situation.
“Once a year (not last) my family goes to a fancy restaurant. Like a place where steaks are 45+ and sides al a carte.”
“It’s a fun treat for us kids at least, as our parents pay. We all catch up, and we get to try places we never can afford ( yet) ourselves.”
“So 2019 when we went, my parents invited my fiancé’s mom as we were newly engaged and she hasn’t met everyone.”
“When invited, his mom expressed she can’t afford it, and I told her it’s fine cause my parents are paying, its a treat for everyone.”
“We knew that anyway cause we’ve been helping recently.”
Indeed the OP’s future mother-in-law proved not to be one bit concerned by the cost of her meal upon arrival at the restaurant.
“I left absolutely disgusted with his mom.”
“She got 4 whiskey sours, red wine, coke, the most expensive steak, added shrimp and lobster. Then got 3 sides and dessert.”
“Her bill alone was just over $500. Meanwhile the single highest bill for the other 7 people was $82.”
“My parents bit the cost and asked me not to complain, they don’t want to start anything. BF (boyfriend) was equally mad and talked to her.”
“She tried to say that since they picked the restaurant they can afford it, so it wasn’t a big deal. When it was explained that this is a once a year thing before!”
Th OP held out hope history wouldn’t repeat itself, but found themselves in for a most unpleasant surprise.
“Well this year, my mom invited her again, despite my no, but not so subtlety added a cap to the price point.”
Well 20 min or so in the dinner, BF’s sister and son show up unexpectedly which pissed me off, but she asked for her own check, so at least she wasn’t coming for a free meal.”
“Her card denied. His mom claimed to not bring her wallet.”
“BF immediately asked for her check, but my dad being my dad went ahead and paid it.”
“Walking out his sis jokingly asked where we were going next year. His mom said it’s just a joke, calm down.”
Indeed, the OP found nothing funny about the whole situation, taking drastic actions against their soon-to-be mother-in-law.
“So I cancelled the scheduled payment to help her pay 1/4 her rent. It was ~ the same as the meal, so I told her her daughter can pay it or she can.”
“BF is being harassed by them now. AITA?”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors more or less unanimously decided the OP was not the a**hole.
“NTA- your in-laws are so entitled and rude!” – bibliophile1992
“NTA. Don’t invite any of them ever again.” – AngeDeNeige
Many found themselves astonished by the mother-in-law’s freeloading without any guilt or remorse.
“Your MIL sounds like Cousin Eddie from the Vacation movies. A real class act…” – CraigBybee
“NTA. I can’t believe how classless those people are.”
“Who drinks so much the first time they meet the future in-law (IL) family on their dime no less, and invites other people the next time?”
“Be extremely careful op, these people either consider that since you have more money than them, they can extract as much as possible from you or they consider that you have to serve them because they are superior to your family.”
“You should put strict boundaries here and not pay for her anymore, in any occasion.”
“I understand, you have a soft heart, but you need to put it in an iron casket, otherwise people will just take advantage.”
“This is how it is. Sadly” – Ryuloulou
One Redditor even expressed their fears regarding how the OP’s mother-in-law will behave at their wedding.
“OP- This makes me scared for how they will ruin your wedding events, and take further advantage of your parent’s pocketbook and generosity.”
“If his mom had the audacity to order $500 of dinner and drinks, way in excess of the hosts’ and other guests’ own orders, and follow-up to the next invitation by planning to include her not-invited daughter and ANOTHER person to crash the dinner and scam your parents even further…what in the world would they plan for your wedding?” – AccidentalDuchess
The OP eventually offered further explanation on how they came to help pay for 1/4 of their future mother-in law’s rent.
“Yes, since 2019 we helped pay 1/4 her rent. She was in an accident so couldn’t work then, and in the pandemic she lost her job, she is now getting back on her feet again with starting a job few months ago.”
But that didn’t change the minds of other redditors as to who the a**hole was in this situation.
In fact, most felt this newfound information from the OP only made their future mother-in-law’s behavior even worse.
“Wow! NTA .”
“Your parents/family should simply not invite them next time or you give them the wrong date/time.”
“This is incredibly entitled. Another thing would be to explain the check situation to the server (MIL is on a separate bill) and making sure the mil has brought her wallet.” – Over-Analyzed
“If she’s been in a good job for a few months now, there’s no reason for you to still be paying part of her rent.”
“I’m glad you stopped. Stick to your guns here, no more money to her, she’s using your generosity against you.”- iopele
Indeed, freeloading off of the parents of your son’s eventual spouse is a very strange way to return their generosity.
But maybe having to find her own way to pay her rent will be the lesson she needs to learn.
Otherwise, there is one awkward wedding on the horizon.