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Parents Refuse To Give Teen A Car For Her Birthday Because Her Grades Aren’t As Good As Siblings


Parents have been saying from the beginning of time, ‘We love all of our children equally.’

But there are occasions when that doesn’t always feel like the case.

These situations can be especially prevalent during birthdays and holidays.

So what does one do?

It’s always good to start by asking some hard truths.

Or is it?

Case in point…

Redditor Double-Bear196 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.

She asked:

“AITA for being mad my dad didn’t get me a car for my birthday?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“I just turned 18 (F[emale]) 2 weeks ago.”

“I’m the youngest of 4 kids and on their 18th birthdays, all of my siblings were given a car by our dad.”

“The condition was that you had to maintain good grades, which they all did.”

“I’m definitely the dumbest of the kids haha, and I’m a fairly middle student.”

“I do ok but I’m not like my siblings who get good grades pretty easily.”

“But I honestly try my best and have had a tutor and I’ve never failed a class or even just scraped a pass.”

“My birthday just came and went and while my mum bought me some really lovely presents, my dad (they are separated) got me some perfume which was lovely but there was no mention of the car.”

“I didn’t want to say anything in front of everyone but my brother and sister who were there, gave each other the whole smirky side-eye thing when they saw I didn’t get the box with keys in that they got.”

“I pretended like I didn’t see.”

“The next day I was pretty upset so I asked my dad why I hadn’t got the car like my siblings had.”

“He said my grades were ok but not ‘at their level.'”

“I got upset and said that he knew I’d really tried and I’d gone to every session with my tutor and done my best.”

“He said ‘then it looks like your best isn’t good enough.'”

“And I shouted at him that I was sick of being the least favorite child.”

“He called me an entitled b**ch but I feel like I’m held to a different standard because I’m not so smart.”


Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA?:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared our OP was NOT the A**hole.

Let’s hear some thoughts…

“Um, as a former ‘smart kid’ that got A’s without trying in high school – my ‘results’ were pretty meaningless.”

“I didn’t learn how to study until college.”

“And got freaking humbled along the way.”

“Kids that were used to studying and never knew what coasting was just blew right by me.”

“Their effort got them better graduating GPAs than mine in college, I’m sure.”

“The results aren’t in just yet at 18, there’s a lot of life to go.”

“OP, your dad isn’t betting on you, but I am.”

“Good luck in the future and don’t let him dictate your life success because he made the wrong call here.”  ~ PossumJenkinsSoles

“This x 1000.”

“OP, you’re learning skills they might not have.”

“Besides that, what a shitty dad to say it’s not good enough!”

“Good enough for his arbitrary standards?”

“I feel like a decent parent would have noticed your effort and put other conditions in place like.”

“Would have specified what ‘good grades’ are.”

“Your comments show that you take in information well.”

“Pick what you want. Go for it.”

“Screw your competitive family.” ~ Gawyne

“Second this OP.”

“Coasted through high school and had my a** handed to me in college.”

“I can’t tell you how many times I wished I had learned decent study skills BEFORE I was actually struggling with the material.”

“Your struggles now will help you so much in the future.”

“NTA by the way.”

“To me, that’s like putting an amputee in the regular Olympics and judging them equally against the other competitors.”

“The amputee can be an AMAZING athlete.”

“And they may work 100x harder than the other athletes.”

“But the fact is they’re just not starting at the same baseline and it’s not fair to judge them like they are.”

“I know autism isn’t always a disability, but it IS a different way of viewing the world.”

“And the world really isn’t made to accommodate that most of the time.”

“That’s a reflection on the world, not the autistic person.”

“Be proud of what you’ve accomplished despite the challenges you deal with and to heck with anyone who can’t recognize them.”

“And for the record, don’t call yourself dumb.”

“People with attitudes like your dad’s will just use that as an excuse to do the same.”

“Your success with your tutor clearly shows you are NOT dumb.”

“You just needed things handled in a way you could understand better.”  ~ Numerous-Tie-9677

“Yup, I’m the opposite side of this.”

“I did horribly in school growing up, but once I began college I did really well compared to kids who never had to try.”

“I still have to go back and finish though.”

“I still get super nervous about doing poorly and wasting the money in a sense by failing or having to take remedial classes.”

“It would be worth it to me to take remedial classes.”

“But I can’t afford to take a class that doesn’t give actual credit.”

“And I sure as hell know if I asked my family to help pay they wouldn’t be willing to if I was in any remedial classes.”

“OP deserves more credit for the effort.”

“And the parents should have looked into learning disabilities or things like ADHD growing up.”

“Knowing likely could have been the difference if they made the effort to get the right help if OP was diagnosed with any of them.”  ~ mkat23

OP wanted to share…

“Yes you’re right.”

“I wish I could be judged on my own abilities rather than against my siblings who I know are all much better and more talented in school than me.”

“But I really do try and I know effort counts for something sometimes.”

Reddit continued…

“This is so true.”

“Not only that, but using high school grades and test score gives such a narrow view of someone’s actual intelligence and capabilities.”

“The things we learn in school are important as a foundation, but that only goes so far.”

“Making it in the real world takes so much more than just test scores.”

“It takes a mix of emotional intelligence, common sense, technical ability, etc.”

“Really I can’t even begin to name everything because a lot of that is dependent on what path you take in life.”

“OP, I’m so sorry your dad is a jerk.”

“I’m sorry that you struggled more to make it through high school, but I promise you, that will be to your advantage if you let it be.”

“Being handed things that just come easily might seem nice, but it doesn’t teach you anything that will help you make it in the real world.”

“What your father did will have the affect on you that you let it.”

“You can feel sorry for yourself, see yourself as a victim and as less than, listening to your AH father’s hurtful words that ‘your best isn’t good enough,’ and settle into a sad life, seeing yourself through his eyes.”

“OR you can realize that he is the AH and use his words and your siblings side eye/smirks as your motivation to live your best life and leave them in your dust!”

“Take some time to explore new things.”

“Find out what your strengths are and what drives you, and create a life you are proud of.”

“When you are older and look back, you will be able to be proud, because you will know that you weren’t handed anything.”

“You made it all on your own! NTA.” ~ happytragedy15

“Your siblings are not necessarily better or more talented generally, they are just better at getting good grades.”

“And they are better at doing the things that earn your father’s approval, like getting excellent grades.”

“Which he rewards with a car.”

“There is a distinction.”

“You have your own strengths and talents.”

“Please don’t measure your worth on whether your dad buys you the ‘excellent grades’ car. NTA.”  ~ lolunnb

Reddit continued…

OP came back with deets…

“EDIT: Thank you everyone for your comments and opinions.”

“I’ve found it all very helpful and I thought I should answer some of the questions here.”

“I am autistic which is one of the reasons I have a tutor who specializes in working with people on the spectrum.”

“And she has helped me get my grades from Cs to all Bs and 1 C.”

“My dad never said specifically what ‘good’ grades are or what I had to aim for.”

“But I know now he must have meant As because my siblings got lots of As and a few Bs.”

Well OP, Reddit is here for you.

It hurts now, but the horizon looks bright.

And plenty of people are pulling for you.

Happy Birthday & Happy Future!!