Father Upset After Pregnant Girlfriend Wants To Name Baby After A Knight Of The Round Table

Baby names can come from all manner of sources.

Some names are passed down from generation to generation. Others are fashionable at the time. Sometimes it's a matter of looking through baby name books to find something that clicks. Or a name can even come from a favorite book, movie or TV show.

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But many parenting resources say the baby's name should be "two yeses, one no"—meaning both parents should approve the name.

Yet expectant parents will still make deals like alternating choices or assigning selections based on the child's birth sex, then conflict ensues when the parent whose turn it isn't doesn't like the name chosen.

A soon to be father turned to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subReddit for feedback on his dispute with his girlfriend over their baby's name.

Throwaway244698 asked:

"AITA for changing my mind about letting my girlfriend name our son?"

The original poster (OP) explained:

"My girlfriend (GF) is currently pregnant with our first child, which we recently learned was a boy. Before we knew the gender, we made a deal that if it was a girl, I would choose the name and if it was a boy, she would pick."

"That's how my parents chose me and my siblings' names. They suggested we do the same and we liked the idea."

"That was before I realized that I hated every single name on her list. Especially the two that she was leaning toward the most, Elyan and Gawaine after the Knights of the Round Table."

"One thing about her is that she has always been into fantasy and mythology, especially the Arthurian legends and she expressed that she has always loved both of these names."

Even though I didn't like her choices, I figure we didn't even know the gender yet so there was no point it bringing it up. Unfortunately, it turned out to be a boy. Not because I didn't want a boy, but because I didn't want to have this conversation."

"I was hoping that she would change her mind and pick a better name, but no. She decided on Elyan, which I guess is better than Gawaine."

"It's pronounced /Ellie-ahn/, but sometimes when she says it, it comes out /Elli-un/."

"But I still hate it. It sounds like a d-bag in a teen movie that they were trying way too hard to give a unique name."

"I asked her if she had any normal names that we would both be happy with. She asked me what was wrong with the name she chose, and I brought up the above-mentioned concern."

"She got upset and told me that we had an agreement and she would have accepted any name I chose, even though she didn't like any of them either."

"Now she'll barely talk to me."

"I've apologized for being so harsh about it, but I would at least like a say in the matter. I even mentioned another name that was on her list that I didn't hate as much (Leon), but she won't budge."

"I honestly don't think it's unreasonable for me to want to have a say in my own son's name, but everyone I've talked to said that they actually really like the name and it's not fair for me to go back on our deal."

"So AITA?"

The OP summed up their situation.

"I went back on an agreement I had with my GF, so I can see why my friends think I'm an a**hole, but I also feel like I should get a say, too."

Redditors weighed in by declaring:

• NTA - Not The A**hole
• YTA - You're The A**hole
• NAH - No A**holes Here
• ESH - Everyone Sucks Here

Redditors decided the OP was the a**hole (YTA).

"Honestly I really like Elyan. It doesn't fall into the family of 'really unfortunate names' that could make life difficult for someone, and it's not so 'old-English and fantasy' that it sounds like someone is giving their kid their Lord of the Ring original character's name."

"Anyways, YTA, for not bringing this up before you learned the gender. If you had wanted to make a different agreement about picking a name together, you should have brought it up when it would have equally affected both of you, not try to renegotiate now."

"If it had been a girl, you would have been happy to just pick a name without her input despite knowing that you in reality didn't want to follow the agreement to give her the same if the baby was a boy."

"You secretly created a situation here where you would get to have full power over naming if it was a girl, but were fully planning on trying to back out of the agreement if it favoured her."

"Regardless of how you move forward, intentionally avoiding having the conversation until this point when you did know that you only want to have the conversation in this situation is already an a**hole move." ~ Kittenn1412

"YTA. You don't make a deal you can't stick to. My husband and I have each loved a name we wanted for our child since our teens—me for a girl and him for a boy. But we hated each other's, so that was that."

"We discussed the possibility of doing exactly what OP and his gf did—both get the chance of the name we loved, but being prepared to accept one we didn't like if we lost. Except we didn't do it, because in my heart of hearts I knew I'd renege on the deal if he won."

"I really didn't want the name my husband wanted, and I'd regret it my entire time knowing my child. So I didn't take the bet because it would have been a d*ck move to agree and then change my mind ONLY because I lost."

"I don't love the names the GF picked, but OP agreed to an arrangement so he is being the arsehole for backing out of something only because he didn't get his way." ~ AcornPoesy

"To me it would've been fine if OP had seen the names and changed his mind about the agreement before they found out the gender."

"But the fact that he saw the names she wanted, knew he didn't like any of them and would want to back out of the deal if it was a boy, and planned to not bring that up until they found out the gender, makes him a huge a**hole."

"He planned to not bring anything up if it'd been a girl—meaning that if he'd gotten to choose the name, he would've done it without giving her any input—while also planning to back out of the deal if it was going to be her choice. Big YTA, OP." ~ Salmon-Bagel

Although people who also disliked the name Elyan decided everyone sucked (ESH).

"People seem to be glossing over the fact that he saw this list of names before knowing the gender and said nothing. He intended to uphold the deal if it was a girl and backstep if it was a boy.

"Grimy as f*ck, dude, but I still gotta say ESH because Elyan‽‽ These people gotta just get a hamster and name that something stupid." ~ twayjoff

"Right‽‽ 'We made a deal that if it was a girl, I would choose the name, and if it was a boy, she would pick'. You're not picking names for a fantasy football team."

"You're picking the name of your CHILD. Then to saddle that child with an outlandish name from one of your hobbies is extremely selfish. That child has to grow up and get a job and live their life with that name. ESH." ~ mmwhatchasaiyan

"ESH. You're both silly for making this stupid deal in the first place—kids' names are a 'two yeses' sort of thing. But you're sh*tty for agreeing to the deal and then backing out when you don't get to choose."

"If this decision only affected you two, I'd say follow through and go with your wife's choice. However, this is a person we're talking about who has to have a name, and keeping your word isn't a good enough reason to saddle an innocent child with a name that causes a lifetime of ridicule."

"As far as I'm aware it's just an alternative spelling of the name Elijah and I don't think anyone would recognise it immediately as being a fantasy name, so it still fits under the category of 'normal name' while fitting your wife's criteria."

"Second piece of advice—make sure that for any future kids your wife gets equal input." ~ grammarlysucksass

But the majority felt OP was clearly the a**hole.

"YTA. So not only did you make a deal you're unwilling to honor, when you realized you had a problem with the deal rather than asking to amend the deal you decided to wait to see if fate would give you your way anyway. Of course your an a**hole."

"Had you not waited, had you been forthright (like Gawaine) you could've amended the deal in a fair way."

"It's not unreasonable to want a say, but you bargained that away to have the right to deny her a say if it's a girl. Utter a**hole." ~ pottersquash

The OP provided an update. 

"Okay, yes, making that deal was stupid, and we shouldn't have done it in the first place. And yes, asking her to pick a 'normal name' was a sh*t thing to say."

"I'm going to sit down and have an actual conversation with her about it and see if we can come to some kind of an agreement."

We hope these expectant parents can have a level-headed decision about finding a name.

Though, it does seem to be the honorable thing to stand by the terms of the deal, and Knights of the Round Table were all about honor.