My Mother was always early for everything. If church began at 10am, we needed to be there at 9:30am at the latest.
I’m much the same. My Sisters? Not so much.
They’re more “if it begins at 10am, get there at 10am.” It’s not my preference and doesn’t give any leeway for delays, but it’s not too annoying.
My nibling however… If it begins at 10am, they might start getting ready at 10am. That drives me nuts.
A woman who has had her fill of her sibling’s chronic tardiness turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for feedback.
Dancewithd3vil asked:
“AITA for refusing to babysit my niece after my sister didn’t show up on time (again)?”
The original poster (OP) explained:
“My sister (32, female) and I (28, female) have a pretty good relationship overall, but there’s one thing that keeps causing issues—she’s always late. Like, every single time I agree to babysit my niece (3, female), she’ll say she’ll be back by a certain time, but then she shows up an hour or more late with no real explanation.”
“I get it, things come up, especially when you’re a parent. But this has been happening every time for months now.”
“Last week was the final straw. She asked if I could babysit for just 3 hours so she could run errands.”
“I agreed, and she was supposed to be back by 5 PM. I had evening plans with friends and made it clear I needed to leave by 6 at the latest.”
“Of course, 5 PM came and went with no sign of her. I called and texted, and she just replied, ‘Be there soon!’.”
“She didn’t show up until 7 PM. I was beyond frustrated because I had to cancel my plans.”
“When she finally arrived, I told her that I wasn’t going to babysit anymore if she couldn’t respect my time. She got defensive, saying I should be more understanding because she’s a single mom and it’s tough to manage everything on her own.”
“I do feel bad, but at the same time, I feel like she’s taking advantage of me.”
“Now my parents are involved and think I should cut her some slack because family helps family. But I’m just tired of being taken for granted.”
The OP summed up their situation.
“I might be the a**hole as I think that refusing or getting upset babysitting her child—which is my own niece—also is kinda rude. Family is family so we need to help each other and just adjust what plan was made for.”
“I think I don’t understand that it’s also difficult for her side being a single mother and a little favor will also be a big help for her.”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided the OP was not the a**hole (NTA).
“NTA. I was a single mum for a decade and a half and I was never late to pick up my child. You know why?”
“Because I REALLY NEEDED people to help, so I didn’t want to take advantage of them, even if that meant cutting my own activity short.”
“She ruined your plans, there’s no pass for that. Your parents can either babysit or pay for a babysitter.”
“Don’t let her do this to you again. If you don’t put your foot down now this will happen forever.” ~ International-Fee255
“My mom’s cousin had me babysit her kid after she was divorced. She wasn’t usually late whenever I was there, but I do remember when my dad ended up reaming said cousin out at one point.”
“Angrier dad gets, the calmer he gets. Those are the scary ones. My sister was babysitting and sometimes cousin would be really late getting home. Sister was about 14-15 at the time, I think.”
“The time dad stepped in though, mom’s cousin had been OUT ALL NIGHT and didn’t walk in until about 8 the following morning. Mom and dad kept checking with sister periodically all night.”
“They were pissed because at no point did the cousin contact sister despite repeated calls AND she had school the next morning—got to stay home that day. Sister had expected to be done by midnight and she had gotten there to babysit about 5 pm.
“After dad reamed out cousin, she was never late again.”
“Absolutely do not babysit until she can learn to respect your time. The world does not revolve around her.” ~ Waterbaby8182
“NTA—one of my sister’s & her now ex did this to me and my parents. We finally quit babysitting for her, she begged and pleaded with us, made false promises, but we meant it when we said ‘No’.”
“She found other idiots who believed her lies. Tell your parents that since they believe so strongly in helping your sister, they can watch their grandchild and be inconvenienced when she doesn’t show up on time.” ~ Shutupandplayball
“NTA. Being a single parent is hard. Being respectful of other people’s time is easy.”
“No attempts to make amends either. If your parents want to help the family they could start by telling your sister to be more respectful of your time.”
“Personal bug bear, do not be late. There are very few valid excuses for being late. ‘I lost track of time’ or ‘something came up’ is simply not good enough.” ~ Jainer99
“NTA. Being a single parent is hard, but you didn’t have this child. You didn’t sign up to be a single parent either.”
“I wouldn’t be babysitting for a while, if ever, until she starts showing some respect. And if I’m helping anyone, and they run to the parents to complain, I doubt that I would ever help again.” ~ Shadow4summer
“Exactly—the correct response from the sister would be so sorry, and thank you so much. With a bottle of wine or something.”
“Not to run and whine to their parents. I would refuse on those grounds as well as the persistent lateness.” ~ MyDarlingArmadillo
“If she’s going to be gone 5 hours instead of 3, she needs to be upfront. If she legitimately loses track of time, she needs to learn to set alerts on her watch or phone.”
“There are plenty of ways to be a reliable and respectful single mother, without burning bridges with every self-respecting member of her family. Absolutely NTA.” ~ Notte_di_nerezza
“NTA. ‘Now my parents are involved and think I should cut her some slack because family helps family…’ You are helping family by babysitting which in this case is more than they did.”
“Her disrespect towards your time is rude and crude. Maybe if you don’t accommodate her, she’ll grow up and learn to be on time.” ~ yesnomaybe123
“If family helps family, then she can damn well waste your parents’ time instead of yours. You don’t have to do favors for people who are inconsiderate of your time and effort. NTA.” ~ fiestafan73
“NTA. Her excuse makes no sense. She’s not with the child when she’s late so how does being a single mom make her two hours late when she’s not actually wrangling a child?” ~ cassowary32
“Of course NTA. Respecting people’s time is not hard.”
“Do your parents live in the same city as you? If so, tell them you will only agree to babysit your niece at THEIR house, and if your sister is late, you will be leaving and they will be responsible for their granddaughter until your sister comes to pick her up.”
“Watch how fast they switch sides.”
“The only other option (assuming you continue to babysit), is to tell your sister that if she’s late her child will be treated as abandoned and you will call CPS… which is an absolutely nuclear way to go about it, so not recommended.” ~ tits_on_bread
“NTA. Why is it that ‘family helps family’ only ever works one way? You’re expected to bend over backwards to accommodate her inconsiderate @ss because you’re ‘family’, but she isn’t expected to respect your time or help you in what you need.” ~ IHaveSomeOpinions09
“NTA. Nice of your parents to volunteer as future babysitters, though.” ~ agnesperditanitt
“NTA…being a single mom doesn’t give her carte-blanche to show up whenever. She’s ruined a good thing. Stay firm.” ~ RoyallyOakie
“NTA. She doesn’t respect your time, so you need to draw a hard line in the sand for now. Your parents need to back off because this is a dispute between you and your sister.”
“You were nicer than I would have been when someone showed up TWO hours past the time mom was supposed to pick up her kid. She only does this because you are fAmiLY and won’t call the cops for this while a babysitter would be within their right to do so.”
“If you want to be generous, tell her you will give her one chance, and if she is not right on time, drop kiddo off at the grandparents while declaring it last chance sailed away.” ~ toffifeeandcoffee
“NTA… let me guess, you’re young, single, and child-free. Everything is good until you set boundaries and expectations.”
“Your parents will definitely not volunteer their time because you’re young, single, and have nothing but time, so you can do the fun things later. Continue to be firm in your boundaries and hold whoever accountable for their actions with consequences.” ~ Gemini_Speaks75
The OP knows what her time is worth.
If her sister refuses to respect her time, perhaps it’s best she not babysit anymore.