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Scottish Woman Sparks Drama After Insisting Girlfriend’s Mother Stop Referring To Her As English

Offended woman
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Redditor ExcitementSecure2737 recently met her girlfriend’s family, and found herself having to correct their understanding of where she’s from.

This brought about tension between the Original Poster (OP) and her girlfriend’s mom.

Ultimately, the OP turned out subReddit “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA).

She asked:

“AITA for asking my MIL to stop telling people I’m English?”

She went on to explain.

“I [29-year-old female] recently moved to the US with my girlfriend Emma [27-year-old female].”

“We met 3 years ago when she moved to the UK to get a professional qualification that took 2 years, then she worked in the UK for a year before we both moved to the US together.”

“I had never met her parents in person before moving here, but I had met her older sister Jane [29-year-old female] and I know that they both had spoken to their parents about me.”

“I’m Scottish, have lived there for my whole life, as have my parents, grandparents, great grandparents etc.”

“What I’m saying is my family are on record here since the Scottish census began in 1801, and know my family line goes back several hundred years before that.”

“It doesn’t really come up other than when Americans tell me they’re Scottish, which doesn’t normally bother me.”

“Yet when we were at Emma’s parents’ last weekend for a family gathering members of the extended family kept coming up to me…”

“…and telling me how happy they were that Emma is back from England and how they thought it was interesting I’m English…”

“…which was confusing because Emma studied not far from my village in Scotland, and I’m not English.”

“I politely corrected them and they all looked confused but changed the subject.”

“After the 10th person — that’s not an exaggeration— I talked to Emma about it and she was just as confused as I was.”

“About an hour later and after several more instances I was in the kitchen with Emma when her mum [54-year-old female] came storming in and asked what I’d been telling people.”

“I was confused bc I had talked to lots of people about lots of things.”

“Then when she clarified I told her that I’ve been telling them I’m not English bc I’m not, and that Emma studied in Scotland bc she did.”

“She went off saying how England is just what they call the UK and it’s the same. I told her that it’s not the same. She said I was letting politics get in the way.”

“I told her that regardless of politics it’s still not the same bc England and Scotland are 2 separate countries and I want her to stop telling people I’m English, and to say Scottish or British instead.”

“Emma agreed with me and we told her that we know she didn’t mean offense, but it is confusing and a tiny bit offensive.”

“Bizarrely, she then said that she was referring to the continent and accused me of trying to make her seem stupid when I pointed out that would make me European.”

“She talked to neither of us the rest of the night, neither Jane when she agreed with us.”

“Somehow since then it’s ended up being Emma, Jane and I vs their parents and everyone else since then and I kind of regret saying anything.”

“Her mum has been alternating between blowing up our phones and silent treatment and I’m tired.”

“AITA for asking her to change?”

Redditors weighed in by declaring:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Redditors decided: 


“Call her Canadian. Same diff, North American colony and all that” – BlindOnARocketcycle

“NTA. A lot of Americans don’t understand that “England” is not interchangeable with UK/Britain/Great Britain. I agree your mother in law probably felt stupid and got defensive.”

“She reacted like an AH. As a family member, she could be more open to feedback—and maybe even educate herself!”

“I’m sorry about it but you’ll probably encounter this a lot in the US.” – nasofictile

“NTA. You’ve hit one of the worst types of Americans: ignorant and determined to stay that way.”

“Since she’s absolutely determined that she can’t possibly be wrong, there’s not much you can do.”

“The level of hostility over her minor mistake is off the charts. The silent treatment is a favor she’s doing you.”

“Best for you to not even try to deal with her. Let Emma handle her mother. She probably has more experience with this kind of thing.”

“Is her father just as bad, or is he able to inject a note of sanity?” – extinct_diplodocus

“NTA. I’m American and we all know the difference between Scotland and England.”

“I don’t know why she’s making such a big deal out of her need to be right, especially because she’s not.” – LowBalance4404

”NTA – and please don’t hate us. It’s the public schools that are doing this. YOU are absolutely right.”

“She, for some reason, seems to think that she can do no wrong even when she is blatantly wrong. And to make her correct herself, how dare you (sarcasm).”

“Honestly, she’s embarrassing herself without any outside influence.” – slap-a-frap

“NTA- mom messed up and she doesnt have the grace to say oops, sorry and correct herself.”

“Not only that, Scottish and British accents dont sound similar..LOL Im an Aussie and have had people get mad me because they thought I was kiwi and I dared to correct them.” – shadow-foxe


“Thank her for welcoming you to her beautiful home country of Canada. Always and constantly refer to her country as Canada and her as Canadian.” – embopbopbopdoowop

“NTA. This is a wild overreaction to something she could have simply apologized for and moved on. Does Emma’s mom have a habit of blowing things out of proportion?”

“It’s like claiming mom’s from Canada/Mexico (pick whatever is more offensive to her) ‘because that’s what ‘“we’”call your country’ /eyeroll”

“I’d temporarily block her until she stops the drama.” – HeddyL2627

“NTA, asking someone to reference the correct heritage for you shouldn’t make someone blow up or give anyone the silent treatment.”

“It should have ended in the person giving the wrong heritage to make a sincere apology for telling someone otherwise.”

“I mean, seriously, would she like you introducing her as Mexican or Canadian just because they are on the same continent as the US? I doubt it very much.”

“But I would certainly ask her and everyone else that is speaking out against you in order to put this in perspective for them as well.” – BeautifulPhantom1

“Now you know your GF’s mum is a real piece of work. She spouted ignorance and when you responded with truth she went to war, and has rallied her troops.”

“NTA. You may want to avoid this woman in the future.” – Traveling-Techie

“As a fellow Scot, you know you handled it far more politely than a hell of a lot of people from here would. NTA”

“Pretty sure if you said a Texan was a Yankee they’d be quick to correct you.” – Attirey

“NTA and even if she didn’t know that they were not interchangeable her behavior is rude and bizarre. Did your girlfriend tell you if this is normal for her mom?” – ManyYou918

“NTA. As an American who lived in England for 7 years (and traveled in Scotland), I find this all highly amusing.”

“She doesn’t know geography and she feels stupid. Look at a map, lady.” – EthereaBlotzky

“NTA at all! That is highly offensive. You should see my husband when someone calls him Irish! The rage of a hundred Scottish ancestors rise to the surface. 😅🤣”

“Just find out which neighboring state is your MIL’s home state rivalry. Ex. If she’s from Michigan, always introduce her as a native Ohio-an.”

“If she’s from the south, call her a Yankee. If she’s from NY, comment on her Southern hospitality. You get it 😉” – FamilyFunMommy

“NTA. A lot of Americans genuinely don’t grasp that English and British are not the same thing.”

“My family had a Scottish exchange student and before the student came I sat my family members down and had a long talk with them about the difference between the countries and to not call her English.”

“It took a long time to explain it to them but what helped was explaining that it’s similar to calling someone from New York a Texan.”

“Yes, they’re both Americans (or in your case, British), but where they’re actually from is really different.” – Ok_Whatever_Buddy

“NTA As an Irish person who is sick to the back teeth of Americans thinking England and Ireland are the same place, fair play.”

“Also the continent of England actually made me laugh!!”

“Americans have a strange grasp of what the rest of the world looks like: countries, continents, languages etc but fire off if you can’t point out where their great grandmother grew up on a map of the USA.”

“I would take it as a blessing that your mil isn’t speaking to you, to be fair she ia a bit stupid and you probably need the break.” – International-Fee255

Maps come free on smart phones these days.

Written by B. Miller

B. is a creative multihyphenate who enjoys the power and versatility of the written word. She enjoys hiking, great food and drinks, traveling, and vulnerable conversation. Raised below the Mason Dixon, thriving above it. (she/her)