Everyone has menu issues nowadays.
Dining out can be a minefield.
There are allergies and preferences that often can’t be accommodated.
And that can lead to awkward experiences.
Case in point…
Redditor Willing_Strawberries wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback. So naturally, they came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
They asked:
“AITA for not attending my husband’s celebration dinner due to the restaurant not having anything I could eat?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My husband has been working really hard the last two years to advance at his company and he finally got the promotion he’s been after.”
“I’m really, really proud of him.”
“His parents are too and wanted to take us all out to dinner to celebrate.”
“My husband absolutely loves prime rib and there’s only one place in our area that serves it; so he picked that restaurant.”
“Thing is- I’m not fond of steak.”
“I’ll eat it but very rarely.”
“I prefer chicken or fish.”
“I looked up the menu before leaving and right now they have a limited menu.”
“The place had only one fish entree and two chicken entrees, and none of them sounded good for various reasons.”
“I suggested that he pick someplace else so everyone can eat.”
“He refused citing that we rarely get to go to this place but go to other places in our area regularly which is true, but those places have lots of variety so everyone can eat.”
“He suggested that I ask if they could prepare the fish or chicken without the marinades or sauces but I didn’t want to be difficult for the kitchen staff.”
“His next suggestion was that I order dessert while everyone else ate entrees and then when we were done, he would take me where I wanted so I could eat dinner while he and the kids ate dessert.”
“So I opted to just not go because I didn’t want to sit there not eating and not having a good time while everyone else was.”
“My husband asked me to go so he could celebrate with the people most important to him.”
“I told him no again and that he needed to get going before he was late.”
“He did go but came back a little over an hour later with the kids and they all had to go boxes.”
“He said he couldn’t think of what to tell the kids about why I didn’t go when they kept asking without lying or making me sound bad.”
“So he just got an order for them to go and let the kids spend some time with their grandparents talking in the parking lot.”
“I told him he should had stayed but he said that I put him in a bad spot with the kids and that I knew he wanted everyone there and that I should’ve just gotten over my picky eating for one night.”
“I maintain if he really wanted us to all eat dinner as a family then he should’ve picked a restaurant with a more accommodating menu.”
“AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP WAS the A**hole.
“Yeah, OP’s post should have just ended with ‘I’m not fond of steak. I’ll eat it but very rarely.'”
“Cool, shut up and eat it on this one rare occasion for your husband’s celebration.”
“You don’t have a food allergy, you’re just picky and love making this all about you.”
“What an AH. YTA, OP.” ~ trashpanda44224422
“When my now husband and I were dating I rarely ate meat and if I did it was chicken or fish.”
“His family invited me camping and of course I wanted to go.”
“They had planned separate things I could eat but once we got setup the first night it was really late.”
“And I didn’t want to inconvenience anyone with having to make someone else for me so I reluctantly choked down a hot dog.”
“Worst decision ever as it messed up my guts after not having eaten much meat in over 3 years.”
“No one had any idea and I still had a great time.”
“I finally told my husband a year or so later.”
“I’m so happy I went on that camping trip, he proposed to me at sunrise the following morning.”
“I can’t imagine trying to force him to pick another restaurant the way OP has, especially when it’s meant to celebrate husband’s achievements.”
“Absolutely selfish. I wouldn’t even look at the menu, just order a salad or something.” ~ kaismama
“What makes it worse is she flat out states she’ll eat it on occasion – and yet apparently this important moment for her husband isn’t a good enough reason to suck it up!”
“They also had chicken and fish… there is literally no reason not to go!”
“Other than being cruel. YTA.” ~ Few_Screen_1566
“That’s what I was going to say.”
“So, I assume she benefits from his promotion?”
“OP is definitely the AH.”
“She gaslighted him through the whole thing, ruined the celebration and then wanted to act like a martyr.”
“There is more wrong with this relationship and this is just an example of bigger issues.” ~ IgnotusPeverill
“I don’t eat seafood. At all.”
“Like the smell makes me mildly nauseous.”
“If there was some place that ONLY served seafood, that my husband was dying to go to (because he, on the other hand, LOVES it) I truly cannot see myself doing anything other than going with him.”
“I’ll have some drinks and get happily buzzed and munch on some non seafood apps or sides.”
“Why? Because I love my husband, we’re a team, and I know he’d do the exact same for me (I mean the dude will eat absolutely anything but y’all know what I mean).”
“I’m getting some major petty, contemptuous vibes coming from OP so I think she’s got disdain for more than steak.”
“ETA: YTA OP. Obviously.” ~ Lucy_Koshka
“Same! I GAG if something even tastes fishy, I won’t even touch seaweed.”
“You know what?”
“When my friends want to go to a seafood place (like, not even celebrating something… just on a normal night out) I get chicken.”
“And if I’m worried it might be cooked on the same surface as the fish (has happened before), I just get a freaking salad.”
“I went to a sushi restaurant for my friend’s birthday, had a snack beforehand, and still managed to find something to eat. YTA.” ~ DrunkSarah
“And I guarantee there’s something else on that menu.”
“A salad, for example.”
“May not be her favorite, but better than telling her husband she’ll stay home and skip his celebration dinner.”
“OP is the AH.”
“And probably didn’t want to actually go out do dinner in the first place.” ~ distrustfuldiscovery
“I particularly love how ‘I’ll eat it [steak] but very rarely’ and then ‘He refused, citing that we rarely get to go to this place.'”
“Gee, almost as if these 2 things can match up perfectly.”
“OP, eat the f**king steak/ribs.”
“A lot of posts like this appear in AITA and there’s always a response I keep coming back to: ‘If you truly loved this person, this minor inconveniences wouldn’t be an issue because your love for said person supersedes it.'”
“Aka, Love > Semantics.”
“YTA, this is why.” ~ Angel_Eirene
“Yeah, OP is a huge AH.”
“I’ve never been to a steakhouse that didn’t have things like salads, bread, potato options (baked/mashed/fries), vegetables and sometimes a pasta or soup.”
“OP could totally build a very enjoyable meal ordering two or three sides a la carte, and if the sides aren’t available as individual purchases (which like… yes they are).”
“I’d bet a shiny new dime that extra sides can be purchased with entrees.”
“Also, having a light snack at home and then enjoying a desert with a cocktail instead of an entree sounds fantastic.”
“Why yes, I would like to eat that entire slice of cheesecake instead of splitting it, thank you very much.”
“Even if the option was snacking before and after the meal, like… suck it up, OP.”
“It’s one night.” ~ CaptainBasketQueso
YTA, selfish, and a poor partner.
“Don’t lie. It wasn’t that there was nothing you could eat, there was nothing you WANTED.”
“You also were too scared to ask the staff for a substitution. It’s one dinner.”
“You won’t starve if you don’t eat everything on the plate, nor will it poison you.”
“Your husband doesn’t get to go to this restaurant he likes often because he is honoring your wishes most of the time, but you can’t deal with it for him one time.”
“You basically told your family ‘My food preferences are more important than your feelings or supporting you.'”
“THEN you left your husband in the awkward spot of having to try and lie for you.”
“Because if he told everyone the real reason you missed the dinner they would be calling you an a**hole like this entire thread is.”
“Apologize. And learn that sometimes you don’t get everything exactly how you want it.” ~ TendoninBOB
OP came back with an update…
“Some of these comments were pretty harsh but a kick in the pants.”
“I’ve apologized profusely to my husband and I am going to take him to that restaurant this weekend.”
“And buy him some camping gear he’s been eyeing as a start to making it up to him and changing course.”
Well OP, Reddit is clearly not thrilled with your choice.
But it’s nice to hear you have come to a personal understanding.
That is the way partnership works.