Living online is a whole new world that we cannot avoid.
It can be brilliant and fun.
And it can be dark and dangerous.
What people deem as appropriate behavior can be shocking.
But what about the consequences?
Case in point…
Redditor Left_Wrap_5352 wanted to discuss her story for some feedback. So naturally she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
“AITA for screenshotting messages guys sent me and sending them to their mothers?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I’m an 18 year old girl who is in college at the moment.”
“I’ve been getting bullied/harassed by three guys in my class who have taken to messaging me online with rather gross/harassing messages.”
“And NSFW pictures that iIm sure you can all fill in the gaps without me going into detail.”
“I should have reported them or just blocked them but I had, had enough so I screenshot every message they’d sent me and found their mothers through their facebook pages.”
“And then sent screenshots to them including an explanation of who I am and how their sons have been bothering me.”
“Their mothers were horrified and shocked by what I sent them explaining what was going on and all three are on my side.”
“Some of my friends think this is genius and exactly what they deserved.”
“But some of my other friends think I took it too far and it was out of line to put that on their Mothers.”
“And also how I don’t know what their home life is like.”
“Should I have gone about it another way?
“Am I the a**hole for doing this?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA?:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors declared our OP was NOT the A**hole.
It’s a tricky situation.
Let’s hear some thoughts…
“NTA. The people saying you took it too far are the same ones who would defend those guys behavior as ‘just guys being guys.'”
“What they were doing is organized sexual harassment, and it needs to be forwarded to school administration as well.”
“Those are rapists in the larval stage.” ~ Urdrago
“Frankly, the administration only gave them a warning which is why they felt comfortable escalating.”
“If a female student can be subjected to this because the administration failed to take action, perhaps the the administration should see it as well.”
“So they understand the damage their general inaction leads to.”
“OP can include a note in the subject that the images contained therein are NSFW.” ~ pottymouthpup
“OP should compile those messages and either email them to the administration or print them off, put them in an envelope and put them on the administration’s desk.”
“With a warning that if it’s not dealt with appropriately then she’ll go to the police and file a sexual harassment report.”
“Though imo she should report it to the police anyway just incase the situation escalates in dangerous retaliation.” ~ danigirl3694
“The parents don’t ‘deserve’ it but do you know who deserves it even less? OP.”
“Send the pictures as they are for the complete and full affect to be felt just as OP experienced it.”
“The boys sending her the pictures DESERVE that humiliation.”
“They’ve already been warned before to back off of OP.”
“They’ve lost any further courtesy and niceties.”
“All of it was brought on themselves and they would be the only ones to blame.”
“I’ll clarify that I’m not trying to say the parents need to be punished by being sent these pictures or anything.”
“I’m simply saying that – it’s not about them.”
“And OP can report her harassment how she sees fit (which luckily for them was censored).”
“Ultimately, OP is NTA (obviously) and I applaud her for taking this level of action.”
“She doesn’t deserve this treatment or to be ignored.”
“I hope these little sh*ts get what is definitely coming to them.” ~ BlazingApp965
“OP, never stop doing what you’re doing.”
“Name and shame 100% of the time.”
“These dudes are abusive shitheads and you’re doing good work.”
“Always good to reconsider friendships in light of things like this.”
“Anyone who isn’t supportive of you after being harassed can pound sand.”
“The moms themselves are supportive of you! Not much else to say about that.”
“NTA.” ~ Levantine1978
“I hate that ‘boys being boys’ attitude.”
“That’s for 10 year olds daring each other to ride a bike down a muddy embankment and coming home with more mud than child on them or even a broken arm, not this sick behaviour so many condone.”
“Not all of these guys go as far as rape, sexual harassment, definitely it 100% does make women incredibly uncomfortable.”
“And trains them for their future work environments where they think they can harass women in a professional setting.”
“As the mother of a lad that will be going to Uni, I want women to know they can report him to me in 6 years time if he does this because his father and I will take it seriously.”
“He’s been raised in a home with a dad that respects the women he works with so we’d want to know where this came from!” ~ Wolfpawn
“When I was 16, I used to get anonymous calls from a bunch of guys whose identity I still don’t know.”
“They would send me disgusting messages and say obscenities and horrific sexual things when I would receive the calls.”
“First I tried to ignore it.”
“I thought they would stop bothering me after some time.”
“But as time went on, the harassment only became worse, and at one point, I snapped.”
“I decided I would receive every single one of their calls and talked to them in the most disgusting language possible.”
“More disgusting than the language they used.”
“They tried to harass me by saying dirty, disgusting things.”
“I did the same but 10 time worse.”
“The slurs I said, I never used such words in my whole life.”
“I shamed them, humiliated them, called them rapists and etc.”
“After that, in less than one week they stop bothering me altogether lol.”
“What I learned from that life experience is, if you stay quiet and ignore the wrongdoing, it would only become worse.”
“Society teaches and expect women to ignore the harassment we suffer and to remain silent.”
“I guess those guy never expected me to respond with such aggression and were shocked and humiliated by my use of language lol.”
“That’s why I’m gonna say what op did was indeed genius.”
“If she had ignored them, it would have become worse.”
“By telling their mothers, op made sure that their wrongdoings doesn’t go unpunished.”
“Kudos to OP.” ~ Ambitious_Durian6008
“NTA. Each of these guys could potentially be charged criminally; instead, you told their mothers.”
“I applaud you for employing a method that will ensure they have some kind of punishment from their families.”
“To be clear, it may not be any more effective overall than reporting to the police, but it’s worth the shot.”
“As for your friends who say you took it too far, I’d ask them how far they think the three guys have gone, and whether that’s too far?”
“Then tell those ‘friends’ to eff off.” ~ tosser9212
“This is gold! NTA.”
“You actually chose an option that would cause them less trouble for their future.”
“Most colleges have pretty strict rules about bullying.”
“They might have been kicked out. “
“You picked the more effective choice without destroying their future.”
“To be honest even if you had chosen to report them to the college, you would still have not been the AH.”
“Bullying and sexual harassment should never be tolerated.” ~ Allyzayd
“Keep complaining about them to the college.”
“Complain every time they send you something and tell them it’s interfering with your education.”
“Also, if they keep going because you complaint, is retaliation so make sure to specify that.”
“If they don’t do anything tell them you’ll complain to the department of education.”
“You can then go and complain here:”
“https://www2.ed.gov/about/offices/list/ocr/docs/howto.html“
“Briefly explain what is happening, attach all of the evidence, along with the responses from your college in that they are not doing anything.” ~ Coco_Dirichlet
“NTA- not sure where you live but if it’s in the UK this is actually a crime now.”
“And I imagine with its recent legalisation the local Police Force would be rather interested in this too.”
“I’d go the whole hog, forget them and their disrespect for your boundaries.”
“This happened to me prior to the change of laws.”
“So I issued a warning that as if anyone shared the imagine with me I’d consider it my property to do as I wish with and share it on social media.”
“Never had one again happily enough… these disrespectful sex pests need to learn to respect peoples boundaries.”
“And unfortunately from my experience they don’t seem to understand the word no.” ~ Free-Celery__19
OP came back to give us a few updates…
“Edit due to questions/comments:”
“When it was just standard bullying I reported them but they only got a warning, the messages/pictures started after that as if to prove I couldn’t do anything.”
“I figured reporting them again wouldn’t work so did this.”
“Edit 2: also whoever reported me as worried about my current mental health… thanks?”
“I mean i’m honestly good but thanks.”
Looks like OP had Reddit ready to fight got her.
Hopefully these young men learn the right lesson.
And hopefully OP can find some comfort and security.